Today marks one year since my baby brother passed on. Rob use to call me sunshine! he says I lit up his world- but in reality- he was often my light and clarity!!
Actually I have another baby brother i have not seen since he was around 3, Mark. He was born Oct 6 but he was quickly adopted off to another family when I was around 7, to a family in Elmsford, NY, if you know him, please let me know, I have been searching for hiim for years but because of adoption laws--the agency will not release any information!!
Ok, I am writing today to tell you that my brother had the biggest heart of anyone I knew, always fighting for the underdog.
You need to know, no matter what you are going through in your life- you should ALWAYS help others in need, you will be blessed and your life has more purpose and clarity when you help others- even if your time is not long-you are always a blessing to someone else!!
Panic attack!
Just so you could get a feel of how my brother was, here are some stories:
One time we were driving him back from my brother's work on 684 and it was summer,
my brother saw an older lady sitting scared in a van: he started yelling: "pull over T, pull over, now, that lady is in trouble!"-
Of course I pulled over- even though I could not figure out how he could "see" the lady was in trouble- he told me his gut told him so, he has to help her.
We get out of our car and approach the lady-who was VERY scared by her face- I am sure at first seeing two black people approaching her car, was even scarier!!!
My brother immediatly yelled in a loving voice to the lady, "Don't worry miss, we are here to help you, this is my sister Tanya and she is a counselor and I am just a regular guy who saw you were in trouble, maybe you didn't take your medicine?" Just signal if your ok", he said.
the lady's face began to smile, she had a new look on her face, as if she knew my baby brother was an angel in disguise.
She rolled down her window and stated: " Oh, thank God you came young man, I forgot to take my medicine and I am having an a n x iet y attack1"
My brother sprung into angel action:
"Don't you worry, call your family or husband and let them know you are safe, (she had a sell phone in her hand) and then I want you to breath, you are ok, it's just a panic attack, you are going to be ok and we will not leave until we know your safe!"
My brother forgot, I was going to be late for work now- but he could care less, if you needed help, food, or clothes- even just advice, Rob was stopping everything for that moment!
The lady got her husband on the phone, Rob talk to him like a son: "yes, don't you worry, this could be my mother and if you want us to drive her to you we can or we could wait for you, no it's no bother, this is life, ok speak to your wife, you have my sister's cell if you need anything!"
My brother had the woman take her medicine and sat there talking her down from her anxiety until she was laughing and felt safe to drive- atleast a half hour later!!
The woman thanked my brother and offered him money-which ofcourse he would never take from a situation like this!
"Listen miss, thanks for the offer but we did not stop in this hot weather for money, we stopped because God told me you needed help, that's it and that's all, I just want you to get home safe!"
The lady smiled and grinned, almost knowing she was dealing with an angel right at that moment!
She drove away smiling and confident- I drove away looking at my baby brother, helping another in need. My brother knew what the lady felt- he had to take antidepressants to stabalize- so he knew just how she felt and he offered help...
Even when he was not doing so great-he was in recovery before he died but just getting by- he gave his last!
I knew that suit my sister gave me would come in handy!
When I went to see the last place my brother lived before he died, a man came up to me crying saying: "I was an alcoholic, homeless- but your brother convinced me I could get a job and start newlife- so I got a job interview- but i had nothing to wear! Your brother gave me his Armani suit!"
(I said to myself- "really, not the suit I bought him in a Parisian thrift shop! I bought him that when I was doing good so that he could always say he owned a nice suit!)
I came out of my daze and told the man- "Armani? Oh wow, that's nice"... (thinking, I was going to kill him again!!" lol
the man said: "your brother helped me stop drinking, how am I going to stay sober, I ain't got no one to go fishing with no more"?
I told him "yes you do, Rob is still here and wants you to stay sober so that you can help others recover"
he looked at me like I had a point- "I guess that makes sense, but I am going to miss him- he was just out here moments before he died because the kids wanted to play and Rob knew a level 3 sex offender lived at the corner of our housing unit- he came out here and watched them play and would not move from his chair until he saw the guy peep his head out- then Rob got angry he yelled to the guy but first he told the kids- cover your ears- " Put your head back in the door, if you come out or I see you I will hurt you!"- your brother hated sex offenders!!
I knew the man was not lying!
My brother hated anyone who harmed kids! right before he died- he was watching over the 10 or so neighbors kids, making sure a level 3 sex offender did not harm anyone- he did this watch A few times a day!!! He was not a saint, in recovery from drug use and not being there physically for his son- were things that made him not so perfect..but he still had a good heart and would literally die for you or give his right arm-if he loved you!!
The point: There are a few:
1. watch how you treat your body NOW- it will haunt you later!! I believe that you are what you eat- my brother had been eating bad food and smoking for years! He had stopped smoking for several months- but after he stopped the gum or pill- he went back. He died of heart disease- his arteries were clogged 90%-the main value!! I am sure it did not help that he use to abuse drugs and that he had to take antidepressants and asthma meds, (which was new)- none of us ever had asthma growing up- I was shocked to learn from smoking- -he had recently got asthma- I am sure it did not help he had mold in his studio as well-ALOT... just watch what you eat please--
Stay away from vegetable oil
fried foods in vegatable oil (only use olive oil or canola)
try to eat baked food
eat lots of organic raw veggies and fruit
don't smoke- anything- it depletes your lungs
you must remember, your body is a temple- treat it special-feed it only the best- this is your "vehicle" for the next 5-100 years, (I figured you have to be atleast 5 to read this)lol
Don't think because you "look" good- you are- my brother had a body like a pro athelete-yes, when I went to the morgue- even though i had not seen him in 9 months- he looked like a pro baller- six pack included!!
but inside- his body was being destroyed by the food he ate- microwaved foods, take out, greasy, margerine, bagged no name brand chips/cookies - look at the ingrediants on the back of anything you buy!!! If it has more than 8 things in it--you probably should skip it.. EAT TO LIVE-NOT BECAUSE THERE IS FOOD- that is how i eat- if God did not make it when Adam and Eve were here, I don't buy it!!! you will never have trouble shopping again if you live by this food shopping law!!
because there was no stove in his temporary place- he had to microwave!!
YUK!! he knew better- he use to be a chef!!!
but because he was poor and wanted to die a "man" he ate only what they could afford- garbage!! No use of crying over my baby brother, what I will do: go around the world speaking to kids in group homes, foster homes, orpanages, (yes in some countries they still call them that)...I will make sure you know about proper eating and living and that you learn to enjoy THIS life NOW!! that is one thing Rob did- enjoy everyday-
2. HELPING OTHERS in need:
this is what we are all here to do. don't pass someone by that really needs your help. We all have our moments- if you see someone depressed or sad- try to offer a kind word, they could say no, but try- you may save their lives and if nothing else- you will lighten their hearts and let them know God sent them an earth angel- YOU!
3.What can you do today- to change or save a life? We are only here tempararly- if I die next week i want you to remember me for helping others- not my bank account or my clothes or my house- I want you to say" she helped altot of people, she changed some lives!"- what legacy do you want? Start building it now!! It is not "bad" to die young IF you lived while you were here and helped others along the way--that could be as simple as a baby being born, bringing your family togeather in love and unity and then passing on- it could be as simple as: a 12 year old who made everyone laugh-including the kid who later grew up to be a comedian because that 12 year old made them think of how funny life is...you never know your purpose- it does not matter how long you are here, it's how much you can do to help others make life better!! xo Tanya
R.I.P COOP- I miss you, but i am still doing your work and I will teach others to do the same- teach one- reach one- then teach again!!!
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