keep in touch

hi blog family!

this is my brother who passed , he was my favorite person growing up because they took my sister and little brother away, I miss him and don't want you to ever go through losing a sibling so....

I know school is almost done!!! (in NY anyway)..congratulations on finishing the year!! I want you to relax this summer and be a teen BUT stay away from the drinking etc...and always be safe and make GOOD choices that will not effect your future!!!
Just some advice if you got seperated from your siblings when you went into foster care or when you all got moved again and the family or home could not take more than one of you...STAY in TOUCH! there is no reason you cannot if you can both use FB or skype...instant messaging... it can be done! talk to your worker and ask to talk to your siblings every night!!! you need to maintain a close relationship because you are all you all have!! when i aged out i only had one brother (who died almost 2 yrs ago now) and my other brother and sister i searched for...found my sisiter, baby brother was adopted off, I feel horrible because we use to visit the house and meet the family, nice people with a daughter from Elmsford, NY.... it would have been nice to be close, it took years for me to get close to my sister because of our seperation...it is never too late and you don't have to go through what we did IF you listen and hit your siblings up through FB, twitter, youtube, IM....if your over 7 you know how to set up all those accounts and do it!!! good luck and never let anyone or anything get you down, your the bomb!! xo Tanya
ps. Stay on your A-game, don't sleep cause its summer!!! read a book every day...keep your skills sharp!!

healing from abandonment..

Hi blog family!
enjoying summer? are you really enjoying your summer by swimming, hiking, bikeing, writing, singing, whatever you don't usually have time for when your in school? I hope you are maxamizing, your life potential...now...(look that word up on google)..

Anywho..I wanted to ask you are you aware that leaving or getting taken out of your family is very hard for a kid to deal with? Did you know if you don't talk about it and ignore it--the hurt feelings may come back later through "acting out"?
Well, I am not writing to make you mad or sad--I blog to teach you how to empower yourself! (any word I use and you don't know--look it up!)

talk to your counselor or therapist about how you felt about leaving your family.
let them know through writing poetry or writing a song about it or drawing...any way you can express exactly how you felf
Once you "get it out"- you can "Process" it--or understand what happend and how it effected you.
When you understand clearly--you can make better choices for your future!
You know that you did not like being left or your parent being sick--it does not matter how you got into foster care--it matters that you are there and you don't want to make the same mistakes as your parents!
Try not to be angry and if you are, here are some things I did to take away the anger: walk for miles, sing , dance, therapy, art, rollerblade...find something to do NOT DRUGS or DRINKING--in my book: "surviving foster care and making it work for you, I will tell you why you cannot do drugs and drink!
As I have said in many of my speeches, you must have a clear head at all times as a foster kid--you never know when your going to run into vultures--people who don't mean well! You don't have to get intoxicated or high to have fun and doing drugs and drinking DO NOT take away your problems--in fact--they increase them!
I hope you that need it are reading and I will start something new for you very soon, I think you will like it better than this!! Just keep faith and do your part---which is??? stay in school, Heal yourself through therapy. arts and stay away from Drugs and Drinking!!

If I talk about anything that makes you mad or sad--go immediatly talk to a counselor you trust or therapist--I don't ever want to upset you--I want to make you think for yourself and learn to control your feelings--you are the master of your destiny--anthony Robbins...
smile, someone is watching you! You are loved and blessed and highly favored xo
Tanya