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August 30, 2010

trust



hi blog family--  summer is coming to an end.
Are you in a new group home or are you adjusting to the new place ok? Trust- how do you start to trust others after being left in a home with strangers???
By trusting yourself first... you have to learn to make decisions-which friends are good/bad--which events You can do without getting into trouble...you have to learn to trust your instincts!! You made it through so far--so your a smart individual in a strange situation.

Look at this experience as it is....an experience!! What you do with it will decide how your life will be from here on... trust only you first then you will know how to surround yourself with good, positive people who can help get you where you need to go....
Trust yourself enough to ask for help when you need it in the group home or at school..
trust yourself to know when you need to find an adult mentor/big brother/sister--because you need a family like connection.
trust yourself when you want to cry and cry--because you know that ALL things shall pass--even the hard times---if you stay alive and make plans for your future, things will always get better.

Its ok to trust people Unless they show you they are not trustworthy!!
Humans are going to make mistakes---learn form theres and if you make a mistake trusting someone that gossips about you later--it's ok...life will not end because of a rumor--move on and hold your head high and proud because you are a true hero for surviving this far and like all SUPERHERO's---you can be rebuilt---even while in foster care!!! 
choose your friends wisely
choose the places you hang carefully--it will give you an image
choose to love you--you are the best!!

bye for now my kings and queens of the blog world!! Tanya

August 25, 2010

Mr Bean - Eating sweets in church | Funny Videos | Fundoofun.com

Mr Bean - Eating sweets in church | Funny Videos | Fundoofun.com

Do you know how to laugh?

hey blog family!! school is near.... we have to get our grill right....smile...laugh... so here's a joke
click on the link and read....lol.....

one thing we have to learn to do.....laugh....and enjoy it!! You are young, gifted, the world is yours!
I know growing up in care and after leaving life was and still can be hard BUT you have to know how NOT to take yourself serious!!
Everyone needs a good laugh every now and again!! Why??

You spend too much time tensed up, nervous, worrying, sulking, thinking....STOP!!!!! just for one minute or one movie...laugh. enjoy laughing, it lightens your load and physically, it makes your nerves better!!!
I have a new exercise I tell people to do: whenever you are at your lowest OR things are not going as you planned for the day.....STOP! I don't care what it is...( unless you were in the middle of an exam)...lol... STOP!! 
and think of the funniest thing you ever saw or heard.....if you are not laughing....it was not funny anyway...if you are.....realize: nothing in life is that serious!!!!
Take time to enjoy your smile and that of others around you. Hang around people who laugh alot, it's contagious!!!  people like to be around happy people!
Ps. be on the lookout for Surviving foster care & making it work for you!! much love, Tanya

Project manager - Fun | Blog | Fundoofun.com

Project manager - Fun | Blog | Fundoofun.com

August 23, 2010

why would you want to hurt yourself? suicide is NOT an answer!!

Hi, I know it has been a minute, taking care of some issues but know that getting a message to you each week is most important!

note: please discuss with an adult this blog, it is NOT meant to make you feel bad but to empower you. You are special!!

Today I want to ask you:
 have you been hurting yourself or wanting to? call a 1800-suicide!! 


how to talk yourself down quickly: then read on.......
1. breath and know "this too shall pass"--and that you are special & needed in this life!
2. talk to therapist, counselor or friend
3. take care of you by NOT hurting yourself, instead, advocate, speak about what you need!!


Why? (think about it).  has anyone ever survived this problem in the world? (don't say no because our ancestors of slavery and holocaust went through it all!) and they made it!! the world did not end because they were abused and used....it changed because those that survived made it better for you and me! imagine if they had all killed themselves when hitler or slave masters took over...you and i would not be blogging!!
THere is NOTHING you cannot survive!! You come from a great line of survivors!!
dont ask why me? ask what can I get from this to help others?
.. take the focus off of YOU and think of others, your problems seem smaller....

Write down why on  a piece of paper. hold it until the next day. read it...unless you are mentally unstable, your problem should seem smaller today than at that moment you wanted to hurt yourself.
If you cannot write well, think and then say why. The point is too look at how small the problem is in a big world of other problems!!

I know that being in foster care is hard. I had a friend die when he was 18.
He was in foster care and then his adopted parents put him in a group home!
He felt that no one loved him and that life was ruff without anyone.
When he meet me, i did not know how depressed he was, until he took his own life.
 I do not want to scare you and i would like for you to talk to an adult, your therapist or counselor because this is a serious topic!
I was only around 19 when that happend, i could not figure out why my friend would want to hurt himself, because to me he was a great person. As i got older I realized what was the problem:
 he only thought of himself! He did not realize how much we loved him and that he had a purpose...
hurting yourself is not good for a few reasons:
1. you are so special to this world!
Your parents were only a vehicle to get you here. Some raise us, some pass us on BUT it is the lessons we learn and grow from that make us who we are!
Some days are hard I know, maybe seem unbearable, especially if you are being abused, BUT listen to me carefully----IF YOU lIVE THROUGH IT----"this to shall pass"- meaning someone can't abuse you forever, you can't be unloved forever, you can't be labeled forever, all things change their state----depending on YOUR action!
life will get better when YOU take action.
It may be as small as saying I will finish school because i know i hate where i live and the only way out is to go to college!
 It may be I will save my allowance or all the empty bottles I find for the next 3 years, so I can get away from where i am!
YOU have to do something. but cutting yourself-hurting yourself--unacceptable! We need you in this life, to help others in pain!!
2. ANYTHING you go through--is for a reason!! no pain--no gain! (that is NOT to say if your abused you will gain something great)- BUT your abuse is one HORRIBLE thing that happend in your life of MANY good things--like your alive, you have health, you can read this blog. yes, those are things to be thankful for!
Go on google and look at some of the orphaneges in Russia, India, Brazil, Africa, China--you will thank your lucky stars.
No matter where your at in this country---you still have it good--WHY?
because you have rights as a kid--look it up on google!you have many resources you can google; churches, synogues, shelters for teens, food pantry's, lawyers for kids etc....
IF YOU GET TIRED-NO ONE CAN STOP YOU FROM TAKING ACTION! You can call child protection services--if your being abused,
you can call the police, to pick you up if you are in need of a safe place,
you can report a worker if they are not doing there job....it is endless what YOU can do to protect and advocate for yourself in this country!!
There is no reason to hurt yourself! reach out to someone, anyone and i am sure they will give you a hug if you need it! Don't cry for help by cutting yourself, ASK for it!! Write down what you need to be ok.
There are many ways to get attention and cutting is not one, suicide is not one.. Talking, asking for help is the solution!!
You have to want help and do work to get the help, no one can read your mind.
No one wants to see a kid who just started  take his or her life away!! We know that EVERY kid is special and has divine purpose---some won't reach it but YOU will! If you read this blog you are searching for something better--and that is what life is about--looking to get better and help others!!
  call a 1800-suicide there is always someone to help!!
when you feel like you want to hurt yourself it is because you are feeling like no one cares, like you don't matter or no one will miss you when your dead---NOT TRUE!!
EXAMPLES:
 the little kid that just got to the group home and was scared---they will miss you--you saved their life becaue YOU smiled at them and showed them the ropes when they got their--you protected them from bad kids...
the senior citizen down the street, you help her with her grocery's every month and make her feel like she has a reason to live--to be an example or grandmother role model to you...
If you are Native American--your ancestors will be let down--you were the one chance they had to see one of their own go off to college become an activist, counselor, lawyer or a doctor and help change tribe life on reservations! You could be the one to motivate the others NOT to join gangs or drink and cut school...realizing that the reservations will go down if SOMEONE like you don't step up or teach the other kids to step up their game!!
Your brother or sister, how will they make it with a clear head, knowing you killed yourself or hurt yourself?
Don't be selfish, think of the universe and all the people you touch daily without knowing it!
You mean so much to this world and that is why i go around speaking-- to get you to see you are special!
I know i had alot to say but you understand this: YOU ARE LOVED AND NEEDED!! WAKE UP AND LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE NOW BY CHANGING IT!!
ASK FOR HELP DON'T GET IT BY BEING "BAD" OR HURTING YOURSELF!!
THE UNIVERSE HAS GREAT PLANS FOR YOU, WHAT DO YOU HAVE PLANNED FOR YOURSELF--WRITE IT DOWN!!!
See your therapist and TALK don't hide your feelings, they can't help you if you "don't want to tell your business"!!!
put your arms around your back--now you have a hug from me and the universe---you are loved and please call 1800 suicide if you feel the need to hurt yourself!! xo
Tanya

August 19, 2010

Pianist Liu Wei(from Chinese talent show) eng sub





Tanya Cooper August 19 at 8:20am
language, color, $ none matters but tanacity and the will to thrive--even when you have less!! instead of saying he has no hands, he said "i do have feet and they are the same as hands eccept in a different location! amazing young man!!

August 12, 2010

back to school

Hi!
I hope you are having a fun summer! You know what time it is....SCHOOL TIME!!!

I know you are excited, aren't you?? lol... anywho.... I 'm just reminding you!

Are you having anxiety thinking about starting a new school or moving up a grade or because you were left behind??

No worry's!!! Stop worrying!!  start taking action!!!

1. you are too young to be anxious about anything but going outside to play and what time your curfew is!!!
ok....maybe In the real world!
 But since you are in a group home or foster home, you may have developed a worry wart attitude!! 
solution:
Take a deep breath,
think of what it is your actually scared of..(meeting new friends, failing class because work is too hard, bully's or you may feel you won't fit in, boys or girls bothering you or not liking you, no new clothes??


These are all NORMAL worrys!!! Every teen is thinking these things when they start a new school or grade! I felt the same way!
What can you do to relax??
think of the worse scenario---act it out in your head, (they tease me)....did you live? (ok, no gang stuff included--that is SERIOUS and you will need help when dealing with gangs)
 YES!!! so it canot be that bad... If someone is teasing you enough to make you sad or want to hurt yourself or others---you need to talk to the principle or your counselor or a friend!!.
If they are harrassing you in an inapropriate manner--you need to have your staff call the police and file a report--why? because bulllys will keep bullying until YOU take charge! I don't want you fighting--it's not worth it in the end and you learn to fight your way through life instead of positive solutions....


2. If you are worried about the work being too hard....GET HELP---a tutor or an older kid to help you!!!

don't feel ashamed--I needed a tutor when I was younger...it is better to get help now than NOT know how to read in college.....yes, you heard me....some high schools actually passed kids just to get them out....this cannot be you, do your work, ask for help, remember, no one is going to save the day but YOU!!!
3. fitting In...I know it is human nature to want to belong to a group or have friends...NORMAL...but you don't ever chase anyone down--and if you do "need" friends" find ones that are doing their homework, staying after for help--as extra,.. doing sports or clubs AND are not into GOSSIP!!

Stay away from chatty people who want to talk bad about others---they will talk about you too!! You can avoid it by staying away and learning to enjoy your own company...Go to the library..play a sport, do your homework...you dont have to be up in everyones face--especially negative people!!!

while middle and high school are places to make long life friends, meet boy or girl friends--your education is 1st and don't let anyone stop that!!
4. no new clothes?? Ok i admit there were times when I did not have the latest gear but i just made due with what I had and if i got to choose---i bought new tops!!! no one cares if you wear the same jeans everyday in high school, as long as they are clean!!!
Try to save your allowance and get new tops..girls you can go walmart, top shot (NYC), forever 21, pay half, Target, charlott Russ...you get the point...AND ladies..you can buy a new necklace to change up or a scarf...check out the magazines and dress to YOUR style and BUdget... trust i was a runway model and clothes I know!!!  Guys you can hit target, khols, and sportwear stores!! B-ball shorts are always in, sweats, jeans and hoodie...you know what it is!!

Lastly start your new day with a smile on your face--you can't get new friends looking sad or crazy!! (besides, you may make someone's day!!) peace xo Tanya

August 10, 2010

keeping in touch with siblings

Hi blog family!
I hope your summer is going well. Are you out exercising and NOT on FB every minute? are you reading books that will take your mind out of its comfort zone...and not on the computer ALL day long? ok enough...i just want you to be sharpening your mind! School is right around the corner and you may be weak in some areas if you don't hit them book now or visit the museum--something educational!!!

Have you been in contact with your sisters or brothers? Talk to your worker and see how you can make that happen. If they are in jail--you can write, just get a DIN # and address... if they are in the hospital..no problem, get the unit they are in.
YOu can have your worker arrange phone calls for you with your siblings. Don't be scared, this is your only family!!! Remember you have to advocate for yourself in a way that will get results....not make your worker mad....SO no Yelling, crying, screaming, hitting, ignoring... you have a mouth---use it with words that are magical and can get you results!! There is no reason you cannot talk to your sibling...unless they cannot be found or on in a facility that is strict , (rehabilitation)... ask your worker but try to contact them, especially if you are older.. WHY??

1. they need to know you are ok, just like you need to know
2. your voice may comfort them and make them WANT to do the right thing because they know they have someone to look up too
3. even if your parents lost their rights, that is your blood, try to maintain a relationship...unless they hurt you in some way...then i say talk with your therapist and work out the details.

I hope you are doing what you need to do to better yourself, getting ready for school, knowing your goals, writing them down...all that!!!
I will be checking on you.
don't forget....write or call your sibling..ask your worker if they can get skype on the computer or AIM and then you can conference them...see them!!!
you can also FB your sibling...ask the agency to set up a FB account for siblings...
there is always a way....
keep searching until you get the answers you need AND don't EVER give up...
 you are loved and special.... Get your education on, the universe needs you more than ever --your job is to change the world and make it a better place but first you have to be the best you--you can only do that by educating yourself!!!
xo Tanya
ps. check out the article they did :http://adoptuskids.org/resourceCenter/parentSupport/adopteeStories/story.aspx?k=Tanya

August 3, 2010

summer time

hey blog family!!

I know you are having fun: camping, biking, hiking, swimming, reading---yes reading a book over the summer will not hurt you!! you must stay sharp at all times always feeding your mind with good material and good people, places and things....keep up the good work and enjoy the rest of the summer knowing that a new school year is coming. You are going to join a sports team, club and meet new friends---no your not shy!! Learn to meet new people, the more you do it, the less uncomfortable it will be!!! You are Kings and Queens--royalty must always know WHO is in the land and HOW to help.... stay sharp by educating your brain...talk soon, xo

Tanya