HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy New year to you all blog family!


What time is it?


Time for reflection, 
time to move forward, 
not backward, 
time to heal old wounds 
time t recover from the storms losses. 
Time, 
Time,
 Your time to shine
Make a plan,
 write it down, 
breath it,
live it!


* be blessed for the new year and let no one bring you down, stay focused, positive and alert to all things good!

by:  xo Tanya

Soul II Soul - Keep On Movin'

this song always inspires me, listen and learn, happy new year!

Soul II Soul - Keep On Movin'

this song always inspires me, listen and learn, happy new year!

Ramen Noodles May Lead to Chronic Illness | Food & Drink | Lifestyle | Mainstreet

Ramen Noodles May Lead to Chronic Illness | Food & Drink | Lifestyle | Mainstreet

you can always start over if you mess up anything in life, BUT if your health is bad and you have no money for doctors or can't cure an illness, no one can help you if you die, so eat right starting now. Remember my brother died at 41 of heart disease..and he had a body like a sports player! bad eating habits will kill you! You can do anything in life--if you have your health...make good choices now. Have a happy new year and write down your goals for the new year! post them in your room, look at them every day and take action!! xo Tanya

LIME LIGHT 2010 PROMO.. (Sumthin Lite)

this kid is following his dream, how clever to make a promo!! Hard work always pays off-even if you don't see it right now--keep at your dream and it's got to happen!!

holiday time

Hi blog family!

yes, holiday is here again! what does it really mean? for me, it means appreciating what the universe has given me so much, that I want to help others. This life is about service, what can you do for others. I mean those who really don't have. You may think your bad off because your in a group home but there are kids in places worse than you!
You want examples? ask the kid who still has to cop for his addict mother- because CPS never came to his door!
ask the kid living in an orphanage in china, where they believe family is everything, so what do you think that child is thinking if he/she has no one...they think they are nothing..
ask the kid in Brazil or poor parts of India (or America)...who has to be sold because the parents are so broke they have no food and live in a hut structure!

it can always be worse-never forget that-- BUT it can always get better as long as you have life!!!
I need you to start focusing on how to celebrate holidays...not with "presents" but with gifts you give to others, the gift of smile, comfort..there may be a new kid in the group home younger than you that just came in and has no family, maybe you can be a good positive role model for him/her? maybe you could stop the bully from bothering them because people do respect you! Maybe you could give  him/her a coat--because you have 3 already and you can't wear all three!!
Christmas was always sad for me, even though my foster mother tried hard and gave us nice gifts, i always felt empty without my real mom. Even now without my brother on earth I always feel that lonely...BUT you can take that feeling away or ease it by making it what you want.

When my daughter was younger we would cook a big meal, wrap up as many plates a box would fit, and go feed the homeless in Brooklyn/Manhattan....then we would have dinner because now we had something to be thankful for...that for today we feed someone a healthy safe meal!!
You are not too young to start your own holiday tradition.

Think of what you love to do that can save or change a life..(it can be as simple as shoveling the driveway of a senior citizen and NOT expecting $) (it could be smiling at a kid everyone hates, but you pay good attention to them by smiling)..(it could be you draw and you make cards for the kids who are NOT going home for holiday)...simple things that YOU can do and don't need anyone's help really...
how can it help others
do you need help?

Stop believing the hype of TV holiday ..its ok to believe in santa all that but beleieve that if it is sopose to be GOD"S birthday...(strange we get gifts on his birthday?)...then he would want you to help others on this day not see how many gifts you get.... I know its a harsh lesson but think of how you can be of service to others, then the universe will bless you with all you need!

Happy holidays, stay safe and know that you are loved the most because you are highly favored and the universe needs each and everyone of you to be full!!
smile, someone is watching xo Tanya

Statitstics on foster kids

WARNING: this does NOT have to be you!!


Today there are nearly 500,000 children and youth in America's foster care system.


 As the economy has worsened, reports of abuse and neglect have increased in some areas of the country and are expected to rise. 
Of the 26,000 young people who age out of foster care each year, many end up facing life's challenges alone without the support and education they need to compete in the workplace. In this economy, they are more likely than ever to endure homelessness, poverty, compromised health, unemployment, incarceration and other adversities.


why am i showing you these statistics? Because you always need to hear the truth! You can make sure this is not you or no longer you by
Setting & Planning your goals..what do I want to do with my life, how, why, when??
2. GO to SCHOOL as long as you can! education is key to success and OPTIONS--life is all about how many options you make or have! I know people with degree's from top schools can't find work--yea but if they use their brain they can make legal money...starting their own business...etc...
3. stay away from anyone negative. avoid them at all cost--you have no time to go to jail, hospital or the morgue! You have divine purpose and need to stay focused so that you can help others like yourself one day... 
4. save any money you get, for a rainy day!! if you get $5 save 2 of that, put it away and forget about it untile you have a few thousand saved...enough to have security money to move if you needed it! There is nothing like knowing you have money when you really need it!
5. keep choosing good friends who are useful to you and you can be useful to them, like an extended family! When times are ruff, your real friends will help you out any way they can because they know you are a good person and you would do the same. value your good friends like family..
6. never give up on you! you may fall down time and time again but keep going until you get your life the way YOU want it to be; place to live, good friends, traveling, eating healthy, enjoying each day, helping others, doing what you was put here to do (help others through : painting, dance, sing, writing, counseling, teaching, whatever your purpose you have one it it is only for you! Know that the universe loves you and you are the most special person in the world! xo 
Tanya
ps. don't let the economy being down, get you down, stay on your A game, stay happy even if your "broke", because you know your ploting how to get unbroke! Don't ever sit around being sad,
 think positive and do postive and positive will come -you don't ever listen to a statistic, they always change but you know who you are and where your going come! xo

not going crazy

Hi blog family!

I posted the videos for two reasons. once in a while we think things are not going so well and we want to give up or maybe do something that may hurt us BUT I felt this song was a good simple video/song that showed...things always get better IF you keep trying!
The 2nd video was written about alot of good people (like Dr. King) who stood up for something they believed in ..check out the history of this song, very deep, but if someone gave their life and someone else helped break down walls, so that we could all be equal, why would you not rise to your greatness and help others??

Foster care is hard because you have no one (like mom) who is sopose to be your #1 protector/guide..not there for you.  But know that you have you and YOU are the most divine in this universe! I am not talking crazy you are a star waiting to shine. If you can get through this time in your life, while educating yourself and surrounding yourself with great friends, you will make it! I am older but wiser and i can tell you ANYTHING that you are going through--will pass, get better or just plain get! You must keep your head high, stay focused and don't let anyone or anything stop you from your goals!!

You are loved and needed by all of us......smile...someone is watching!!:) Tanya

U2 - I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight (Animated)

U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday

The search is on for foster families

Hi blog family!

I saw an article today with this headline: "The Search is on for foster families. The article states that they are trying to take foster kids who was taken out of their homes in an emergency and put into temporary shelters- and place them with family's. THey say this will save their city millions of dollars a year....

I am not going to co-sign yet! Why not?
 Because everything that sounds good, may not be.
#1 we know (and I talk about it in my book), a constructive foster home is always better than a group home. Constuctive meaning all family members are functional, non abusive and the foster child is not being played for money or treated 2nd class...yes, we know this happens from time to time.
#2 Some foster homes are too crowded with too many kids and you don't get the attention you need, so you may act out....when there are too many kids and not enough adults per 2 kids, you might as well be placed in a group home! I never liked people having 10 foster kids (none related) and all ages ...you have to be careful if they came from an abusive home, they may act out on younger children...I know-I was one of them!

#3 I also don't think a child should ever have to go back to a home (if they choose) that physically or sexually abused them---they had there chance to love and protect you and they messed up, why should you suffer, or be reminded or learn their behavior? You deserve only the best don't feel sorry, or sad, just change your thinking and know that you don't need people around that don't treat you like the king or queen you are!! including family!!! I always  tell you- that is why we have "friends"-you choose them, if you do it right they are just as good if not better than "a family" that abused you...
when it comes to pysical abuse - If you choose to go back home- so be it, but sexual assault on any child is the only act  not forgiveable or forgetful in my book...forgiveness??NOT - and neither should you (forgive in your heart if they ask but that does not mean hang out or live togeather or even eat togeather...
again I always talk to you with truth..and you should read and know I only have your best intentions at heart.
If I ever say anything confusing, talk to a counselor, show them the blog and let them explain. I want you to release any anger you have for your past family, past abusers, foster care. I want you to start healing your mind from abandonment.  Read, meditate and learn to love people...you need extra love and concern...it's out there..

What can you as a foster child do? 
protect your future and educate your mind--stay in school!!!
I am in my 40's and things have changed a little, (more allowance, in care less time, workers who actually care and help, workers who have bosses and board members who want to advocate change...

there is change BUT we know fostering will always be about $$$$ and paperwork.
Not on a negative note but you need to understand the hard truth...nothing worthwhile is free!! So with that in mind I want you to stay focused only on you, your goals and how to achieve them and who can help you achieve them.
Life deals us all odd cards--play anyway..good thing is you never loose...if you keep playing. work on how to be a better you and how to make a difference in the world with your talent.

When you see articles like this or news headlines you won't care because you know, you are making a difference in you, and if you become an independent, contributor to this society (stay out of trouble, no rehabilitation, jail, morgue...etc...), then you have done a great job!!!
You are King and Queen, get your education so that you may take your thrown and rule!!! xo Tanya

feeing down?

Soc Le Cour (this is the top of Paris, once you climb those stairs and look down you feel like you are on top of the world--YOU ARE--everyday if you believe it!!!

hi blog family!!!

I know the holidays are among us and this is a hard time for anyone without family OR anyone who did not get the holiday love and peace they deserved as a child. THis is a time where many take their own lives or may do more drugs or high risk behavior things. 

I write to you today to encourage you to stay strong and know that YOU have divine purpose!! Yes, I say it often but i say it in truth. How do I know?

 How could you be so divine with so many problems to face in this life?? YOU are human and we are all here on this earth to experience ALL elements of this earth, love, joy, pain, excitement, family, whatever--each of us have our own map to follow. 

For you NOT to be depressed, you have to erase the word from your vocabulary...use another like..i am feeling so challenged today.

 Don't allow negative words or people in your life...even if it means being alone until you find new friends, mates or family substitutes!!

Life is hard but don't take it personal--we all go through something at sometime!!! 

The universe does not pick on one person, it has lessons, great, ugly and bad for ALL of us!! 

How you work through them or learn from them is the divine part, this will tell you how much charector you have or will have! You cannot get charector without going through something!!

 You must always believe that feeling down is only temporary--even slaves and those in the holocaust found  a second to laugh or smile at something...don't dwell on what you cannot change and if you can change it--get to work!!! 

You are needed for our future to be brighter!!:

someone would not be here without you!

 Someone would die,

 cry 

or kill without you in their lives, 

 do matter most-don't forget it and spread love to someone today, 

call a friend that comforts you. 

When all else fails and you have no one look to the sky and tell the universe "thanks for my life, no matter where i am at" because i have life, i can always get more, do more and be more...

xo Tanya

I thank the universe for you, because you are reading my blog which means I am doing something right...smile, we all love you and know you are important to the universe!!

Giving back, making money and not thinking you are entitled

Hi blog family! I hope your thanks- give- ing was good!

 I spent mine giving and then eating! 

 you must learn to give back BEFORE you celebrate turkey day and xmas... give food, gloves, old sneakers or clothes to the homelss. When you live in a group home You are less likely to have active parents to teach you about giving and how not to take advantage of something...

You need to see and feel why you should be thankful...not just for your life but quality of life, if you are reading this blog and in a group home--you are blessed to have a computer!! 

You can see and you have your brain or you would not be on this site!!

 The universe needs you to use your gifts and talent...you will find out what that is as you get older (some of you know) singing, dancing sports, writing, poetry, drawing etc...

On another note: I know usually after leaving foster care many will end up needing section 8 or DSS (welfare). You are still young to let this NOT be your destiny!

I want to challenge you. 

If your  family was on welfare before you went into care.....be working toward a goal to become independent of it- to never need it! (learn to save your $, have two jobs)...

I don't think welfare  will be here forever.

 If you age out of foster care and you need it--you should utilize it IF you NEED it and cannot find a job but know that you still need to keep looking and thinking of ways to get income so that you won't need it! Don't ever want something for free all the time--it is addictive and you will start to feel you are entitled..or derserve it! Welfare was sopose to be created for families who just lost a job or a mate or had a medical bill that put them in the poor house..it was to be used to "assist" a family on getting back on their feet not "permently aide them for the rest of their lives...You are never to young to learn what NOT to do!!

Often adults get caught in a traditional cycle-and teach their kids the same-(grandma was on public assistance,mom, so i will too or they pass thier section 8 apartment to the kids..)... 

there are times when fate happens...an accident that put you out of work, 

sudden death of spouse, 

family financial tragedy)..when you will have to go to get help with heat, (heap), food, or medical--that is ok, but if you are expecting it because you aged out of foster care....that is not the mentality you want. 

why? 

because if you think you "deserve" it "forever" then you will always be dependent on it-forever!

Start thinking of it as a temparary solution only and think of ways to get off....as you get older...

start making jewelry, 

teach your  language to college kids or foreigners,

 babysit...

clean houses/apts (all you need to start is cleaning supply's and references)

you know how to hussle if you grew up in foster care! and I don't mean selling illegal things...i mean hussle like "creative  new income" for yourself that is legit.

At your teenage years now. you could rake neighboors yard, walk dogs, clean up yards, you can always make legit money IF you do something or make something people NEED.. 

 Later as you get older, If you speak any language well, you can teach english...put an add up at a local college...if you make earrings, bring them to all the hair salons you know...craft fairs...you can always make money--IF you have something people need or want!!

 Use your brain power--people who grew up in foster care have extra--that's how we survived!! look at the show shark tank....these are people figuring out how to generate extra income or create a career for themselves--being their own boss. You can do it--anything you put your mind to it but you have to start thinking out of the box!! You are young, gifted and an asset to this earth, keep a good positive spirit and you will be blessed!

smile someone is watching you!!

xo Tanya

"surviving foster care & making it work for you"

Movie on 2010-07-20 at 10.32.mov

What does this holiday mean to you?

Hi blog family!

Today is a time to reflect on when the pilgrams tricked the Indians....lol...Just kidding... :) gotta have humor!!!

This is a time to reflect. 

I know we have been taught to celebrate but what are you celebrating? life? giving? love? the chance to help others? 

I believe every thanksgiving should start with early morning cooking, 

20 plates prepared and taken to an area you know homeless people would be today, 

and then.... 

come back home and have a feast of thanks!

--thanks that you were spared another year,

 thanks that you had food for you AND for others,

thanks that you have and give love to others,

 thanks that you can help others, 

this is what thanksgiving should be about, 

teaching our young to go out and help others first--

perhaps give away that coat you never wear, 

perhaps bring a scarf and old light worn pair of sneakers..

something to show the universe that you are thankful and a person of change.

If you give of yourself, it lessens your worrys AND the universe always rewards those that give by brining more peace and love into your life, Happy thanksgiving please reach out and help someone today...even invite someone with no family over, and then eat!!!

Tanya

negative media

hi blog family!
I hope you are having a great weekend!!
I read an article on NILA website talking about the condition of young black males-that they are in a bad way basically.
I want to tell you...stop letting ANYONe or any MEDIA put bad ideologies (things) in your head!! You are not in a crises physically it's mentally!! why? because we have allowed the media to judge us, tell us what is or is not good for us and what we do--we forgot- you are it.

Make no mistake there is no "problem with the black male eccept--he is allowing everyone to define him but himself! If you are a black male reading please know that your history says you were king. News flash...YOU STILL ARE KING!!"
 all men are created equal"
you have been told lies that "most" of you rob, quit school, in jail, steal, abandon family--and now the false wording that the media put on you is appearing to come true because that is all they show of you!
This is why I get ticked off at the lil waynes/nicky minage or any artist that promotes blacks as funny charectors rather than a people who come from a great lineage of kings and queens--but they won't tell you that--that is why you have to do your own research!!

 All people are great but we are only told about certain cultures or religions as to keep those in the limelight and portrayed as good- don't get it twisted we are equally great--all of us!! latino, polish, black, jew muslim, christian, ALL-
Everyone has divine purpose as I always say and you are no ecception!
WHen you hear negative things in the media about black men blow it off and know they are only talking about a few not all and they definatley are not talking about you becasue you are handling your business of being number one and enjoying this life!
You are king and should laugh when anyone tells you different... keep reigning but keep doing what you have to do to take back your kingdom--especially your mental kingsom!!
go to school to be: lawyers, doctors, engineers, scientist...kings creat solutions for the universe, they cannot be self centered or small thinkers, they think out the box--don't sell on a corner or sell your soul--you are king!!

keep your heads up you are not "extinct" you are in need of a new mental attitude!! wake-up!! Tanya
and anyone else this applies to you-you must think the highest of yourself-even in foster care!!

assignment for you

Hi blog family!!

I hope school is good, new friends, chances, new life.. I hope you are being the King or Queen you are...(not dragging lol...):) jk...

Your only job today is to go out into the big bold beautiful world smiling and "feeling" good!

 If you "feel" good good things will happen (so says the secret and me, i tried it)... how you feel determines how your day will go!

Please try feeling good today--no matter what obsticles come in your way--it works -your energy level rises and you feel like you won $1million dollars--and about to go get it---keep that feeling....

.have a great day!!

xo Tanya

what is your biggest fear after foster care?

hi blog family!
What will be your biggest fear after you leave foster care?  
NONE!
yes, because you are doing what you need to now to secure your future.
 Going to classes,
 getting a tutor if needed,
 staying away from knucklehead people,
 evil people, violent people,
you are only surrounding yourself with people who value you and help you become BETTER and enjoy life!
You are staying away from drugs and drinking because you know foster kids cannot afford-mentally or financially to "get high" - you know that you need all your brain cells to make good decisions and that ONE bad one-can change your life-forever..jail, rehab, gang, morgue..... 
I know you are saving money when you get your allowance-because you know in a few years when you leave--all those $5 you saved up for the last few years will turn into a couple of thousand--enough for you to give security money and one months rent or two months for a room!

You have no fears about being without a home--because you are planning and plotting your great future that will be full of adventure, fund, money, helping others and making things happen!!!
You are not waiting for anyone to "save" you because you know--you are the hero and the world is waiting for you to save it!!!
stay on your grind-stay focused and keep reading any self help books you find!!!
the world is yours--go get it!
 peace xo Tanya

remembering you are the HERO

Hi blog family!
I was reading an article today from Massachusettes stating they are behind and tyring to change foster care. OMG....some things never change!! and some take forever-we don't have time kids are dying!

HELLO! WHen will we all wake up? How many children have to become cutters, commit crimes, go to rehabilitation or the morgue? NONE!

I have been saying for years to anyone working with foster kids- TEACH KIDS THAT THEY ARE THERE OWN HERO'S! 
States are spending tons of money asking people who never went through the system or any situation without parents-how to fix it!
Does that make sense? I am begging all in charge to start hiring us - former foster kids like myself, who now consult with agencies, foster parents, attorneys. You will get the edge and save lots of money.
-------------------------
For my teens- I want you to start paying attention to EVERYTHING you do!
Getting to classes on time,
doing your homework,
 staying after for help when you need it,
asking for advice or help when you need it,
how you choose your friends..that go to class and do NOT get high or drink...
All of this is what really matters in the end.
You make you bed and only you will lie in it.  You can be happy now--not later--now!!think it create it- do it!!! open your bank account now--even if you can only put $1 a week!! Now - now!!
Don't listen to adults who complain that their life sucks--they did or did not do something to contribute to this poor, unhappy life!
If you ask anyone--including myself-any mishaps that I had in life--I take responsiblity for them because I had CHOICE and FREEDOM to chose--and chose wrong...
If you want a quality life with money, success, good friends, your own family and to be a productive memeber to society--YOU have to start PLANNING NOW!!! EVERYTHING YOU DO-NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL-WILL BE AN INVESTMENT IN YOUR FUTURE OR A MAGNET TO KEEP YOU IN THE PAST...THE PAST OF BEING: broke, homeless, no friends, bad grades, labeled troublemaker...whatever...YOU put the titles on YOU by taking action to make a better future.
The next time a friend wants to drink or do something you know is wrong, ask yourself, will this effect my life in any way bad--if it does--you know what to do!!!
I write this blog in hopes that one kid will read something encouraging. you can write back you know..xo smile, someone younger is watching and you need to be a good example...you are the best! Tanya
ps. get off the computer so much (accept when you read my blog) and read a book, never forget how to spell or read a hand held book, what will you do if your computer is down??? read, get up get out and do something to challenge your life!!!
take a hike, walk, play a guitar, ride a bike, rollerblade, bowling, do something different, play lacross, tennis....something...don't stand in your little box, it only becomes smaller as you get older, step out and challenge yourself TODAY!!!