Lauryn Hill - - I Get Out

remembering my brother

R.I.P Coop!!

 

never knew I could make it after losing the one person in this life I loved and trusted the most until my kids!! I remember the day he died, the world stopped for at least a year. I could not hear, feel, see, think...or breath....
Time went...time...went...time..... went away, until one day I looked up and saw I missed 3 years of my life!!
I decided instead of having a pity party I would honor my brother by helping other foster children..of course the devil is busy and put obstacles in my way, but that never stopped me and the devil has always been a liar in my book!!

Time has begun to tick again, ticking away at its own pace, I am not scared because time has always been my friend, until the day my brother stopped breathing..Its OK now I know he is another angel guiding me to the light daily. R..I.P little brother!xo

Tanya
 

What has been the hardest part of your childhood?

hi blog family!!



what has been the hardest part of your childhood?

was it being born to a person that could not take care of you?

was it before foster care...neglect, abuse, abandonment?
having no parents due to death or illness?
losing your family?
no family that came to rescue you from foster care?
feeling like no one routed for you from day one?

STOP THE PITY PARTY PROCESS!!!!

The fact that you are live....you have no hardest part!!

I know times seem hard when you have no birth family to claim you, when you have been in group homes all of your life and never had an adult tell you how special you are or that everything will be alright.

I know what it feels like to cry yourself to sleep because you have no one to give you a hug and tell you you are loved...

If you remember God is ALWAYS rooting for you, sending you love, (if you stop, breath and catch it, feel it when he is present---you will know because every bone in your body WANTS to do right, wants to be kind, wants to embrace love, allows you too look for love, peace and serenity!!!

You may be young but you are the most precious gift to this earth!! God has many plans for you BUT you must get off the couch....and go outside of the box!!!
You are human and it is normal to feel "unloved" when your parents gave you away or you lose them to tragedy. It is ok to feel "down" but what I don't want you to do...is feel sorry for yourself to the point that you are not being motivated to live your best life!!
Wake up Each day....and start over, with love, kindness and education of self...learn something new, befriend a person you admire, find a great role model..
Smile.....
breath
smile again
and get out of the house and off the couch!!! this is a big world, dream big, love hard and learn...you are NEVER along!! God loves you and you are highly favored!!!

the views expressed in this blog are of my own and from MY living in group and foster homes, my life experiences....I am not a Dr. and I only blog so that you may be encouraged to live a better life and NOT use foster care as an excuse to live a bleak life!! Get up Get out and Do Something...(Macy Gray)...lol xo
Tanya
 

How to know if you have good friends

Hi blog family!

you know how to tell when you have good friends?? You will find out who REALLY is your friend when..

1. Someone close dies ie..like my brother
2. you go homeless
3. get in trouble with the law, even if its a misunderstanding and your vindicated, when you get locked up and try to make a call".....see how many can get your kids, get bail or even visit!!!
4. You are having surgery and need a ride
5. You have cancer
6. You getting a divorce
7. Your money is frozen in your bank...
8. You are suicidal, homicidal or abusing drugs/alcohol

ALWAYS CHOOSE YOUR "FRIENDS CAREFULLY, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE NO FAMILY- THEY WILL BE THE ONES WHO HAVE YOUR BACK IN HARD TIMES!!

THEY WILL OFFER SUPPORT OR IDEAS ON HOW TO GET HELP

THEY WILL LEND YOU THERE COUCH, $, TIME AND LOVE---WHENEVER YOU NEED IT!! AS LONG AS ITS NOT HABITUAL...( I DID NOT SAY THEY CAN BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF, I MEAN WHEN YOU HAVE A SITUATION YOU CAN COUNT ON THEM BECAUSE YOU WOULD DO THE SAME!!):)

I FOUND OUT WHEN MY BABY BROTHER DIED WHO MY TRUE FRIENDS WHERE AND WHO CARING PEOPLE WHOM I KNEW BUT DID NOT EXPECT THEIR SUPPORT - AND GOT IT BECAUSE THEY WERE GOOD HUMAN BEINGS WHO KNEW PAIN IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER.

CHOOSE WISELY - look for support, growth, potential, greatness and love in friends- they will expect it back from you - as should be!

 LIFE CAN BE GOOD, WITHOUT FAMILY, IF U CHOOSE GREAT FRIENDS!! don't allow bitterness into your life - your life is now what YOU make it!!

Hi blog family!!

May 16th is approaching for our Celebration - did you RSVP?? tgirlcooper@yahoo.com - you don't want to miss this event!!
So much is going on in in the world, just this last month with Boston, who knows when you will encounter an orphan?
The world is a great place and you should be ready to help others - at any time!
Come out Thursday May 16th and learn about how to keep Siblings connected.
I will be sharing a piece with you from my book: "Surviving Foster Care and Making It Work For You!" my heart breaking separation story from my older sister and baby brother!

Award wining Journalist, Liz Welch, "The Kids Are All Right" will be sharing her story of being separated from her siblings following the death of both parents, the subject of her memoir!
Congratulations to The Recipient of The Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship!! Congrats to our honorees!

This is a FREE community event!
When: May 16, 2013 - 4-6pm
Where: The Mount Kisco Public Library 2nd fl
*(if your on time and stay..refreshments served:) lol

Change cannot happen until community gets involved and WE ALL do SOMETHING to help those without parents and resources!!

Because of my brothers generous friends, someones life will be changed, R.I.P little brother!!:)

"Do what you can, with what you have" is what my brother Rob use to say and I share this with you,
so that you can NOT wait until you RICH, Famous, to help others
but now with what little you have! Everyone has a gift! How can you use yours to help others?
You are your brother - and sisters keeper!!

I have no "money" but I am able to help kids through people who do!
Remember this: MOST people WANT to help - but sometimes you have to ask!

FosterKidsUnite is looking for a sponsor - please contact us if your interested!!
Smile, someone is watching you!! xo Tanya

Hi blog family!



the ultimate win is when YOU get life! knowing how to love YOURSELF,
help others, travel, be at peace, enjoy all that God has made, that is when you can find joy and win in life!!


Heart disease is a very big killer, especially among African American's and Latinos, it seems!! Imagine foster kids eating habits with no mom to steer them correctly!! Potato chips, lard, cookies, poorly made boxed food!!!
YUK!!!
No one is giving you the memo that some kids were born to addicts...you already have that factor, now add eating bad food until your 30...40...this is when all your family health issues come up!! Someone has to tell you the truth! I am not a doctor but I want all kids to start thinking about your health NOW!!!! what you put in,...is what you get out!!

I also wanted to point out another important factor, HEALTH!!!!!! nothing matters if you are in bad health!! NO MONEY, LOVE, POWER can cure bad health!

Learn to eat healthy. Stay away from fried foods, vegetable oils, (use olive or canola), stay away from too much butter, sugar, breads...if you know it was NOT in the Garden of Eden, stay away!!

your diet should be 75% veggies, preferably raw..
.NO I am not a doctor but if the you eat a lot of red meats, pork and processed foods....your colon has to work harder to digest all that!
Less is best!
Also EXERCISE!!!
 learn to move, walk, run, bike, skate, basketball, swim, yoga...ANYTHING to keep your body moving and current!!!
A moving body is usually a better one!!
 Remember to eat to live, not because there is food!!!

Today learn to be ok with who YOU are but know how to love yourself by being the best you!! xo

Tanya

Hi blog family!

another snow day...OMG!! be grateful we have a weather change!! And even if your in a group home, you have heat!! Many countries lack that one thing we need in cold weather...HEAT!! so be happy and make snow men today...or woman!! lol..

Today I want you to know that God loves you SO much, he has SO much in store for you, if you just keep faith and holding on!! Do YOUR part: go to school, stay away from trouble...drugs, negative people, places and things...and Write down your goals and dream!!! if you don't write them you can't believe as much...WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT in this life!! Don't think you have to wait until you "get to heaven" to be rich or enjoy THIS life now!! God wants you to enjoy everyday and be kind to others while doing it!!!

Write down your goals
find out what you need to complete them; school, $, counselor etc...
EXECUTE!! this is the number one reason for failure, we don't follow through with our plans!!

NO one can stop you but you! God made NO mistakes and he made you to be as perfect as you can be as a human... rise up and be the best you - Today!!!!

have a great week and know you are loved!!!xo

Tanya

fosterkidsonly: Talent show surprise! Tati S.C.

fosterkidsonly: Talent show surprise! Tati S.C.

Talent show surprise! Tati S.C.

Hi blog family!

as I listen my talented 16 year old, I thank God for bringing me to her and her sister, my girls are the greatest gifts I could have asked for in this life!!


Wow! today is my 48th birthday!!! 

I am SO blessed to have made it this many years being the child of an addict!!
I thank God every day that not only have i made it, but in better health than many!

We often take for granted the little things, I want you to know, I am blessed and highly favored no matter what has happened in my life!!
Even after abandonment, neglect, rejection and abuse...I AM STILL STANDING TALL!!
why?
 Because it is my right to be happy and be a blessing to others when I can!!

I will not allow negative people, places or things to EVER change my giving heart, for it is one of the many reasons i think I was born. 

We all have divine purpose and let NO man, woman or child stop you from your divine purpose of sharing, caring, mentoring and helping others.

The world has got some pretty selfish people in it today- don't let anyone tell you you can't help others if YOUR without money! that is a lie!! God always sends us angels when we need help!! I know because when I put out a call to send gift boxes to aged out foster kids now in college - St. Joseph's Church seniors came to the rescue!!! These ladies are amazing for helping me help 10 young adults who are without family.  I cannot say thank you enough to these lovely group of lovely seniors, ( who all look fabulous and not like seniors"... if this is the new over 65....i can't wait!! These ladies have spunk, gut, wit and hearts of gold!!

My message: don't let anyone tell you you have to be rich to help others! If you have an idea, share it with your friends, church or anyone who will listen... I know gift cards and candy/snacks may not mean much to a kid who has everything but when you don't have family or your family is poor and your in school...every penny counts! Always remember to help AND say thank you to ANYONE who helps you!! Just because I ended up in foster care does NOT mean ANYONE has to help me, so I thank ANYONE who extends a hand...and I always say thank you! My foster mom use to say: you never know when you will need help again AND someone else may help you just for being thankful!! I am grateful for my 4 kids that sent a thank you, for those that did not, I am sad but, please know, thanks goes a long way!! You cannot be blessed until you have an attitude of Gratitude!!!
As I celebrate my 48 years..I will be thinking of you all who do not have family and those that do...love what you have now, tomorrow is not promised and help others when you can, even if its with a smile, word or gift xo

Hi Blog Family!

SAVE THE DATE: MAY 16th, 2013 celebrate with Fosterkidsunite May, as National Foster Care Awareness Month at Mount Kisco Library again this year 4-6 pm.. This year we have an award winning journalist speaking and sharing her book and story!!!

As you can see, winter is here!! It can be cold outside and this weather can be less motivating at times, especially if your walking! lol.

I want you to think of ALL the obstacles you are facing today. At times life can seem Cold and unfair but that should never stop you from getting to your goals and being the best you!

I approaching another birthday Feb 9th and I often feel I am not "where I want to be"... but know that I keep traveling in this life, staying on track and getting back on when I feel I am falling off!

If you are a single parent, it can be a challenge to reach your goals, while you provide food and a safe home for your little ones....but that cannot stop you, it may slow you down but stopping is not an option!!

If you are living in foster care please start preparing your self for aging out by getting an education!! It does not have to be College" it can be trade school or classes but do SOMETHING that will ensure a financial future! If you had a child early you have to really stay focused and PLAN, PLAN, PLAN!!

Every move should be calculated and having a kid (if you did already), is NO excuse for failure or giving up!! I recommend NOT having ANY kids, until you have a career, can start a college fund for that baby, and hopefully a supportive partner/spouse that will provide financially AND mentally for that child!! I see why God made two parents...both are needed, not only so you can have relief at times...lol.. but so that another voice can guide the child....

I only say all of this because as I get older I realize MY mistakes, I have no regrets BUT I would have done things alot different had I known what it meant to live with no family...choose good friends, parents for your future kids...(that would be someone with an education and a career NOT a jump off, Dough boy, abuser, dysfunctional person that has NO goals or high thought of living their best life!!

Learn from my lessons Nothing can stop YOU but YOU! Stay focused and clear knowing that God and the Universe wants the best for you! I know it can be hard, I am still having a hard time, but I stay trying and refuse to believe that I cannot live a better life - today!!! xo

keep away from negative and work 3 jobs if you have to in order to achieve your goal, as long as your moving, thinking and taking action....something will come your way!!!

Tanya

Talent show surprise! Tati S.C.

Hi blog family!

Thanksgiving is approaching! Share your home for the holiday" if you can with another former foster child or a kid from the group home (that you know) that has NO family to go to on the holiday! I am trying to enact a place every year for kids in my area to go. 

Remember Holidays are a high time for suicide! No one wants to be alone or be reminded that they have no family. I struggle with this daily. It has been hard because before I was sexually abused by my two foster brothers, (one deceased and one out of jail after serving 7 years for molesting a student and his niece..) We use to have great dinners together as family, holidays were fun BUT I was robbed of that and can never go and have dinner or be "social" with the one that is alive....because I value my sanity too much! I know I am not the only one who has an awkward situation, and I won't be the last!

I want you to find positive friends, and if they cherish you, they will invite you to their home in times like these. There are people who never went to foster care and was abused by family, and cannot go home for the holidays (in order to keep their sanity)...that is ok..If you are a true friend you will never judge them or try to get them to "get over it"...or go back and "hangout" with their abusers..No one should ever be violated or forced to hang out with a person that destroyed their childhood innocence!! 

This is VERY important for my readers to know when it comes to why people you think" have family are not going home, (besides the basic 20 somethings who are too busy enjoying life to go home) :) there are those who left their family for a reason! Don't meddle in their business, unless they tell you, just understand and provide an alternative for the holidays!!

God made us all to love each other when we are down, who will you help for the holiday?? Bring food to the pantry, open your home to someone who has no family (if you trust them in your home):) (i am NOT saying invite someone displaying multiple personality's in your home or Charles Manson!!!)lol..

I am saying if you have a friend that never goes anywhere for the holiday....and he/she is NOT the Grinch...invite them to share and see how a family loves, respects and eat together on the holidays!!xo

have a great day - know that you are loved, special and needed in this world!!!

Tanya

Hi blog family!

I know - its been a while but u can catch me at fosterkidsunite blog!!

So The Penn State Coach has finally gotten what he deserved for hurting children- LIFE!! He has so many counts, he won't be able to count his way out of jail!!
I am praying for all the victims!!
I am covering this story to tell you one thing:
When someone is hurting you - TELL, TELL TELL!!!
Never keep a secret with ANYONE who is touching you in the wrong place, starring at you in a bad way or making you do things YOU know are not right... Abusers always say the will kill you' or kill your family....so far NONE of them have told the truth!!
They will do anything to keep you trusting them and doing what they want!!!
If you know someone who is hurting you in any way- tell someone like a teacher, counselor or police..they are mandated reporters and have to tell the proper authority's!!

I am the victim of a child abusers, they never got caught for my abuse but one did serve 7 years for molesting his 4 year old niece in law- who told when she was 11!!
 I am proud of her for telling, even though no one believed her until the police did, they even got a confession!! Now thanks to her many kids will not meet the fate of this awful monster!!
 The other abuser was killed violently...:)..sorry but he basically ruined my trust  life..and I was lucky to get an apology...(rare for victims)...I can forgive BUT never forget...one was a sexual predator on weaker younger kids, the other used me as a sex slave for years..and was an alcoholic!!
You must always tell so others won't get hurt and if they do...you did your part!
Never feel shame, it is not your fault
Never feel guilty, you did NOTHING wrong!!
Never keep a secret, secrets turn into addiction, homicide, suicide and self hurt...
YOU deserve to live a healthy loving, pain free life!!!  You are loved, special and needed!!!
xo

Tanya
from victim to victor!

EX FOSTER KIDS UNITE: Hi Blog family!! Honoring a great Woman today!! ...

EX FOSTER KIDS UNITE:

Hi Blog family!!
Honoring a great Woman today!! ...: Hi Blog family!! Honoring a great Woman today!! I woke up saying what is on my heart and being thankful for great leaders!! (the ones ...

This is the Day!

Hi blog family!

It has been a while but life, is always happening, even when were busy! lol

Have you ever had a great idea but did not act on it?

Ask yourself why?

Did you need a contact name, money, materials?

 Why did you not act on it when the idea was fresh?

Often we can sabotage ourselves by NOT acting on an idea!

We are all creative and have the ability to create a million dollar idea....but not many of us act on it. When I say us, yes, those who grew up in any home and were NOT encourage to follow through on an idea.

I say we all have a 6th sense" when you know something is right or wrong...

many of us are taught to suppress this feeling very young and when we get older....the concept...."no faith" in our ideas has taken place....it has become embedded, thanks to family, no family, negative people, places and things...everything teaches you NOT to follow your instinct...especially if you were in a group home, (not knowing you likely have a better "instinct" than anyone)...because you had to use it to stay away from bad people!!....

Not many kids in group home settings are encouraged to try new things and not be afraid to be different...example:" if i said in a group home: "I'm gonna be a superstar in TV one day" ....most kids and other would laugh or say "Yea right"!!

But Eddie Murphy, Mariah Carey, Pit Bull, Kerry Washington, DMX, Oprah....(OK Oprah was not a Foster kid but she had some comparisons....)

think of this: 

MANY survivors of Holocaust/Slavery/famine/AIDS epidemic etc... were orphaned and many in parts of Africa...8 million are today!!! 

 It was DMC from Run DMC that said at an event we spoke at years ago...."Jesus" was an orphan!!!

 Its not what you are or where your at!!....its where are you going and what are you doing to get there!!

Everyone has divine purpose, yours may not be the same as mine! That is why you must follow through with YOUR talent, gifts and ideas!!!!

You may save or change a life one day!" (that is my quote from my   brother Rob that passed.....)

the names above were said to have been in foster care at some point in their lives....they all  knew they would make it one day...because they followed an inner voice...instinct"!!! They are not perfect" but they have all contributed to the world through film, singing acting and activism- you can't beat that for a foster kid!!!

WE ALL HAVE IT!!!! God made us ALL special, some just choose to Not be anything GREAT- we choose mediocre....or "OK"...You chose that, you were not born 'OK" you were born to be great! Something happened along the way to divert you - its OK...get back on your path of greatness!!!! TODAY!!!

We may "think" of a great idea....but it will be just a thought......

You cannot get to your dream without taking chances!! Think of a million dollar idea, Paint the next Picasso, invent a new product, write the next manuscript...

Get Out meet people in the field you WANT to be in!!

Join groups on Linkdin/FB/YOUTUBE and other sites that give you advice on the talent, skill or idea you are trying to develop!

Remember failure is not an option!!

When you don't act on something......nothing will come of that great idea!

Paint that picture you always dreamed of..

write that script you have in your head for a blockbuster movie!

Meet new friends that share your interest, take a class at the local college if you need to...

invent something new you think the world needs.

Don't let not having materials, money or even connections stop you! There is always some action you could take: write it down, find a mentor, use alternative to make a prototype, (until you get what you need)

Whatever you have been dreaming to do, to make to be.....start today, this is the day created just for you!!

Smile, someone is watching you....:)

Tanya

EX FOSTER KIDS UNITE: Matter of Fact Monday 05/14 by tlbethel | Blog Tal...

EX FOSTER KIDS UNITE: Matter of Fact Monday 05/14 by tlbethel | Blog Tal...: Matter of Fact Monday 05/14 by tlbethel | Blog Talk Radio Me interviewing with Tommy!! May is National foster care awareness month..come ou...

May 18th celebration reminder

I hope you are doing your best to wrap this year up...with A's ofcourse! (:) ) We are working hard to see kids in care get what they need....stability!! If you are aging out and need my brothers scholorship application, email us (on the flyer) and we will send on, its easy and quick - promise!! I hope you are preparing for a great future, nothing but you can stop you!! You are loved, blessed and highly favored..xo Tanya

Words from Tony Robbins on Own...

Hi blog family!

I like to give credit when do AND if someone else can say something to save or change your life........I let them speak and share what they say!

Tony Robbins is a brilliant man who gets "how to live and enjoy life".... I got this from Oprah's own, (forgive me O) lol... but good stuff must be shared!!! enjoy!!

The life coach and host of Breakthrough with Tony Robbins believes in living a passionate life, a life in which fear is a counselor, not a jailer. Here, he shows us how to "step up" during our most intimidating moments:

1. Don't Turn an Excuse into an Identity
We need be careful of how we label ourselves, for example, saying "I'm an fearful person" or "I'm a weak person" or "I'm not a strong person." Usually that label comes from your current or past behavior, but once the label becomes a part of you, it starts to control you. So what I try to get people to understand is: Hey, you're not broken. You don't need to be fixed. You don't need a label. All you need to do is say, "I have to decide how I want to be now going forward."

2. Develop a Habit 
Courage is not the absence of fear. That idea is the biggest b.s. in the world. Fear is impossible to eradicate. If you were completely fearless, you'd be dead. People who are courageous are scared to the core—they just make themselves go forward anyway; they make themselves take some kind of action. Taking action, even though you're afraid, is how you become courageous—because courage, like fear, is a habit. The more you do it, the more you do it, and this habit—of stepping up, of taking action—more than anything else, will move you in a different direction.

3. Let Your Body Lead the Way 
Taking that action for the first time can be pretty rough. When it comes time to give the speech to the committee or snowboard down the mountain, don't hesitate. Don't start to analyze it. The longer you stand there, the harder it gets, because then your mind gets involved. If your challenge is mental, use your body. If it's in the body, use your body more aggressively. At 17 years old, I was on my own, sleeping in a laundry room. I had no idea what to do. I was so depressed. Fear is physically debilitating. I had to defeat it. So I made myself run until I thought I was going to spit up blood. I got stronger in my body, which, in turn gave me mental strength. 

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Tony-Robbins-How-to-Live-Courageously#ixzz1qqF2l66z

words of the day

Hi blog family!

words for the day: Always move forward, rarely look back and don't ever stop achieving for greatness, love and to help others!

xo Tanya