May 18th celebration reminder

I hope you are doing your best to wrap this year up...with A's ofcourse! (:) ) We are working hard to see kids in care get what they need....stability!! If you are aging out and need my brothers scholorship application, email us (on the flyer) and we will send on, its easy and quick - promise!! I hope you are preparing for a great future, nothing but you can stop you!! You are loved, blessed and highly favored..xo Tanya

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT!

Hi blog family!

It is a gorgeous day outside - I hope you are  going to enjoy it after school!

 Learning to take care of your body- crucial WHILE YOUR IN  foster care! 

Why?

 Well if you lived in a group home - you have lots of food, but i am almost sure it was not the top of the line, meaning, organic.... and if you live in a foster home, I doubt your foster parents took the time to think about what was dangerous in the cereals you ate. ..like BHT (read the label)...

Not because they were mean, no one knew better! You can know better by youtubing or googling anything you want to know about foods!! no excuse, if your over 10...you can advocate for better eating, by doing it!! lol..

 I was blessed my foster mom was a diabetic and I ate like one, (thankfully) avoiding common problems associated with a southern (old school) diet...lard, butter, pork, fried foods, red meat, especially not organic....starches like white rice....(brown rice ok..)

(pasta and rice and other food items turns into suger, if you eat mass amounts of it your body can be thrown off key and perhaps develop diabetes. There are many other factors but I just wanted you to be aware of what you eat! remember if you eat healthy 90% of the time....then its all good to go to the barbecue or eat the pork grinds...(ewwwwww) lol..:( its only if you do this every day, that you will have problems before your 40...unless you have great DNA!! lol...

When shopping I ask myself: "was this food in the garden of eden or the bible? That usually cuts down my bill!! When my kids had to make a choice at home it was yam over potatoe chips, grapes (organic) over hershy's... IF YOU ARE NOW A PARENT, DO BETTER THAN YOUR PARENTS COULD BY HAVING YOUR KIDS EAT HEALTHY!

I am sharing an article i got off of Dr. Mercols's site, (please check it out whenever you can, sign up for the emails, very informative on health news latest!). so these are NOT my words below but i thought if I had to borrow information, it was ok as long as one person walks away thinking healthier! Life is to be enjoyed and you cannot enjoy it if YOUR SICK!!! You cannot enjoy all of it...if you DIE EARLY because you chose to eat bad foods... think about your mind and your body - they go togeather... xo

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How to Avoid Heat-Induced Toxins in Your Diet

Ideally, you should consume foods that are raw or minimally processed to avoid these types of toxic byproducts—the more raw food, the better. My nutrition plan emphasizes the need for at least one-third of your foods to be consumed raw. Personally, I consume about 80 percent of my food raw, and I find it is one of the most important factors that help keep me healthy.

It may take you awhile to switch over to a less processed diet, but throwing out the most obvious culprits would be a great start.

These would include:

• French fries and potato chips
• All sodas (both regular and diet, as artificial sweeteners may be more problematic than fructose)
• Doughnuts

Healthy Eating Made Easy

Aside from creating potentially toxic byproducts, cooking and processing also depletes the food of valuable micronutrients, which is another reason for eating as much raw food as possible. This includes protein sources such as eggs. Raw whole eggs from organic, pastured chickens are an incredible source of high-quality nutrients that many are deficient in. Raw milk is another good example of a food that is beneficial in its raw state but becomes harmful after it is pasteurized.

By opting for foods that will benefit your health, such as raw, preferably organic and/or locally-grown vegetables, organic grass-fed meats, healthy oils, raw dairy, nuts and seeds, you can change your health for the better. These are the foods that are truly natural, and quite easy to prepare once you get the hang of it.

For a step-by-step guide to make the transition to a healthier diet as simple and smooth as possible, simply follow the advice in my optimized nutrition plan.

Remember, eating fresh whole foods is the "secret" to getting healthier, losing weight and really enjoying your food. It's unfortunate that so many are under the mistaken belief that it's "next to impossible" to create a meal without processed foods. Bruce Weinstein and Mark Scarbrough tackle this issue head-on in their book Real Food Has Curves, which is a great starting point to "relearn" the basics of how to enjoy and prepare real food.

Once you get used to it, you'll find you can whip up a healthful meal from scratch in the same amount of time it would have taken you to drive down the street to pick up fast food. The main difference will be greater satisfaction, both physically and mentally, and perhaps even financially, as processed foods typically end up being more expensive than cooking from scratch.

Be thankful for your foster or adoptive parents and ...

Hi blog family!!

Today was special and I will share my speech with you for fosterparents and adoptive... IF you are in a group home...I want you to focus on HOW TO MAKE YOU BETTER!! SCHOOL, CHOOSING GOOD FRIENDS, ASKING QUESTIONS, STAYING AWAY FROM TROUBLE...AND TELLING YOURSELF EVERY DAY....I AM SPECIAL!!! I have friends that made it out of group homes just fine BECAUSE they kept their sanity and never allowed themselves to give up!! You are amazing and You have divine purpose to be here!!! find out what it is....if you ever need me to answer any questions....email me tgirlcooper@yahoo.com   there is NO reason you cannot be a success!!! You were born to win!!!xo

Do your part by staying in school and becoming the next president!! (ok...i'm just saying you should go for the top so that you can help change the world)...but we love you no matter what you do!!!

SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE FOSTER OR ADOPTED KIDS, YOUR WORK IS NOTED AND APPRECIATED!! XO TANYA

“A PIECE OF MY STORY” by Tanya Cooper

August 13, 2011

No part is to be reprinted without permission from the author

I’d like to thank all of you, 

for allowing me to share in your celebration of foster and adoptive parents.

 I know all to well the impact a great foster parent can have on a child not only reaching independence - that part is easy, just turning 21 gives you independent status- The real test is once your kids are on their your own: knowing how to navigate life when storms come and how to enjoy life- even in the middle of a storm! 

I will share a piece of my story with you and a brief memory of one of the best days of my life! The 1st day i meet my foster mother! 

I remember a policeman and a CPS worker knocking on our door when i was 5 yrs. old. I vaguely remember being moved around to a couple of different group homes in NYC.

My memory starts to become clear when my case got transferred to Westchester County in  the early 1970’s. My mother was a heroin addict and alcoholic, who often lost track of time: hours, days, weeks, months would pass! 

My sister became our mother when she was 5 years old! When we had no lights or food, my sister would comfort us and find a loaf of bread. One time, she snuck us out of the apt to get fresh air, I fell off a swing and needed stitches under my eye, she had someone call the ambulance, while she had her street friends find my mother first, so that no one would know we were outside alone. 

When we needed a hug because we missed mommy, my she would wrap her loving arms around us, until we forgot about mom not being home.

when a curtain caught on fire - because my  brother discovered matches, my sister put the fire out! 

When my brother Rob and I had chicken pox- it was my sister rubbing calamine lotion on us!

 There were many times we should have been in a foster home or could have starved to death, but by the grace of God - we were always protected from harm.

We would see our mother every now and then but eventually due to her addiction- she stopped showing up - my sister also got tired of playing mommy around 8 yrs. old.  

She knew she could love us but she could no longer  keep us feed and safe! Cps was called in and my mother  would later lose her rights, her 4 kids and her battle with addiction! I am grateful to her for knowing she did not have the tools to care for us. It was my foster mother that made me understand, sometimes, your parents are only a vehicle to get you here- 

My memory becomes very clear when I think of the 1st time I meet my foster mother- who was a widow with one adopted son and 2 foster boys at the time she got

my brother and I -  BUT later would meet and marry my favorite man, my foster father!

 I was 7 years old and It was the 1970‘s - We were living at a large group home facility and it was a special day because foster parents would come visit and choose a child to take home-now that style is outdated but i share this story for a reason. 

I was in the gym with many other kids running & playing. I remember I was with my sister and my brother Rob. 

Everyone was playing, laughing, running but me! I was excited that someone may “choose” me to go to a real home! I wore a pretty yellow dress that was way to small because that was all that could be found for me.  Even though it was not my size, it was the 1st dress I owned!! 

I was able to to be grateful very early because I knew previously, I wore the same clothes for months, 

  I thought hard that day in the gym while I waited to find a new home. 

because I had moved around to a few of different places, I knew then, I did not like this “group home life, accept for the fact that; there was always food and i was with my siblings.  

In the group home the kids appeared to run   

As i stood in the gym that summer day, I noticed my baby brother running, smiling and checking back with me every few minutes. 

My sister was in eye sight with her new friends. My brother  Rob ran over and looked up at me and said: “Sis - you think we’ll find a home?” I said: “yes,, and I am not going unless you and T come- keep smiling, maybe someone will notice us” My baby brother had an infectious smile, so I knew if anyone walked in that we” liked, and they saw him, we would have a home!

 I remember the sun literally shinning on me when a beautiful woman, well dressed walked in the gym! My brother Rob came over and gave me a look that said: “she’s the one”.

I don’t know how i knew, but i knew that was going to be my new mommy! She walked past all the kids, straight to Rob and and I, she looked down with a smile and said: “why look at you with your beautiful auburn afro- your about the prettiest little girl i have seen and I want a daughter- would you want to live with me?” I remember she smelled so good, (I would later find out Chanel #5) she had on the nicest clothes I ever saw!

BUT- I wasn’t going without T and Rob. I said to her: “I can’t go, unless you bring my sister and brothers”! 

My sister came around us; observing, listening, contemplating, using her street smart skills to decide if this woman was worth us being separated!

I was excited but scared- they warned us most people like babies, they will not take 2 kids, must less 4! We couldn’t leave baby mark! 

My sister called us over then the worker called my sister over to speak private- they always talked to her first. It was because of her street smarts we had not starved to death! 

So we did not do anything in the group home, without her approval!

 Waiting for an answer, my soon to be foster mother started telling me about her “big House” and how I would have my very own room! BUT she also said: she could only take two of us and that my sister and baby Mark could visit anytime!  I told her”no thanks” but then my sister stepped in and with a sad but convincing face said: Tanya, listen, you and Rob need a home, I will be alright, i promise I will come and see you”. While I was sad to leave my sister behind, i knew i wasn’t cut out for group home life. I was excited Rob and I now had a home and a new mommy!!

I share this story  because I am grateful to all the foster parents who share their home, their family and there time!

Raising someone else's children after neglect, abuse or abandonment is a challenge and you all here today that take the time to invest in our foster children deserve to be honored! Not just for “taking a kid”- anyone can do that- but for nurturing them back to mental and physical health, for unconditional love with hugs and providing constant words of encouragement-even when you were told they had a disability!

My life would not be the same had my foster mother not listened to her inner voice, that told her, yes, you have 3 kids but 2 more needs extra love!!

I know it was no easy task loving an angry teen but my foster mother knew I was hurt that my birth mom never came back for us. She knew because she had lost both of her parents when she was young, being raised by her grandfather! So when I rebelled and acted out as a teen for many reasons, she put on what I call “mom repellent” and challenged me to excel!!

When the doctors tried to give me a title of learning challenges and ADD, ADHD, my foster mother insisted i stay focused and channel my energy with: sports, singing in the church choir, dancing, ballet, camp, after-school activities - so that I would not become bored! Thanks to my patient, loving foster mother, I eventually got new letters - My B.A.S. from N.Y.U!!

I learned from my foster mother that a foster parent is “called” into this field for the love of helping others- even if its temporary you can have an impact! 

This is not a job you do “just for a check” because all kids will make you work for every penny!

A foster parent has a vision a goal for their child. They are able to meet the child where they are at, because their parenting instincts tell them: when their child; “IS” or IS NOT”, ABLE”, ON POINT or IN TROUBLE!”

I am here today, living proof that foster care does work if a child gets the right home- a home that teaches them, like my foster mother taught me, “I am responsible for my future and can never feel sorry for myself or lose faith in hard times!

 My mother held us to high standards and she had many requirements. 

We were blessed to have 6 tv’s in our house, but you could only watch certain shows - on one tv - together as a family and you HAD to read books and newspapers daily in order to watch a tv show in my house! 

One of my birth brothers was dyslexic but my mom did not care, she made him read and write every morning and afternoon! 

I became the best speller because when i got a word wrong, she made me rewrite it 10 times!! My mother never allowed  excuses for failure. There was no such thing as “you can’t” or “I give up” and the only title you had in her home was “my  child”!

In conclusion:

when I aged out at 21, I had good times and hard times but I always bounced back because of the values and faith my foster parents taught me!

 i am so grateful my parents insisted on the basics, I learned patience and that not everything happens or comes together, without , a vision, a written plan, hard work and thought!!

most importantly, my parents took the time to find out what each of  our God given talents and purpose were,  she told us daily: “We all have divine purpose”: My foster parents believed kids with alot of energy should be busy with ; dancing, drawing, singing, inventing things, writing stories, listening, talking, -

 your foster child has a special gift or talent that was given to them  - it is crucial you find out what “IT” is, and focus their energy on that”! 

  through  my gifts of speaking, i have been able to help children labeled with ADD- ADHD and behavior problems focus their energy and reach their potential!  -  By the way- all those other titles we label kids with; its just UNFOCUSED energy! It can be channelled to do good-  thanks to my foster parents, I am living proof! 

Thank you!

Message delivered!

Hi blog family!

National foster care awareness month was a major success! Thank you to those who attended the event and to you reading.

I spoke to some lovely (mostly boys) and girls at a group home today.
Why this is important?
 I believe young people are going through alot today, especially young males:
Having to live up to "society's idea of success, looking at the young kid in Valhalla, who was in college, a good kid, but still was murdered by the popo...because of a DWB...driving while black!
Some say he should have just "stopped his car but remember his friend that was there said, the officer told him to "move his car", even if he kept going, the officers should have thought: this kid is PROBALY in college (it was a college party)...so they should have let him "ride off" knowing, they had a liscence plate and could have got him at home!...

I understand what you males are facing, even in the media they give you role models like"snooky from jersey shore or flav flav, or Mrs. "NY" really?
These are probably good people, BUT they are only on your screen for one reason: to make money!! 
To make money and send out the wrong message is the big thing now but I beg you not to follow! 

Please remember God made you - you are the best thing ever made- failure is not an option!!
No matter where you are in your life, God has a purpose for you EVERY day that you wake!! Know that you are King and Queen of the universe, anything you want, you can have and do!! 

Summed up: The message given today to all of our young boys....(and girls)
1.     Put goals in your mind, as big as you can imagine!
2.    Write them down what it is you want to do (be singer, lawyer etc...)
3.    How long you want to take to do it..realistically...(you can't be a lawyer in 2 months...but you can   in 6 years)...
4.   and hang up what you write as goal and time to do, so you can see everyday!
5.   find out who (counselor, therapist, teacher, friend) can help you achieve that goal!

God sends you many angels, right here on earth!! 
look around and see the stranger that was willing to help, the teacher that went out of her way....angels on earth, learn to utilize them, they want the best for you and to guide you to greatness you were born to become!!
6.    Love and value ALL life, yours, his, ours!! Never do anything that will jepordize your freedom or sanity!!


know that you are loved and have divine purpose, go out into this world and be the superstars you were destined to be!!! xoxo


Tanya

assignment for you

Hi blog family!!

I hope school is good, new friends, chances, new life.. I hope you are being the King or Queen you are...(not dragging lol...):) jk...

Your only job today is to go out into the big bold beautiful world smiling and "feeling" good!

 If you "feel" good good things will happen (so says the secret and me, i tried it)... how you feel determines how your day will go!

Please try feeling good today--no matter what obsticles come in your way--it works -your energy level rises and you feel like you won $1million dollars--and about to go get it---keep that feeling....

.have a great day!!

xo Tanya

what makes you special

Hi blog family!
I know you are doing well in school, making new friends, staying positive and enjoying learning because you know this will help you with a future!!

What makes you so special. have you ever been asked that? here are some answers you should be coming up with:


1. because the universe needs me to help others, not everyone can help effectively-- I have divine purpose and I know this because I am in foster care AND/OR I survived abandonment, abuse and/or neglect--not everyone has survived, since I did--I know I have purpose!
2. because the creator made me, and we all are special
3.  because no one makes people laugh and forget about their problems like me!
4. " I share and care about people i come in contact with, making a difference in everyone's lives that I meet!
5. I am unique, with gifts and talents that will help this universe move further along.
6. I am the next big thing: scientist to cure cancer, president, doctor, singer that moves listeners with my voice.etc..

I hope you get the point--you have divine purpose. Most of us do but never realize it. Always know the creator created you for a reason. Your parents were only a vehicle to get you here, now you have to figure out, (with help from your angels and friends), how to capialize on being special! Make a lasting impression when you meet ALL people, be kind, compassionate, and caring--you will always make friends and be a blessing to others. Remember you never know what state of mind someone is in: suicidal, homicidal, angry etc... so always try to MAKE someone's day with an act of kindness!

smile someone is watching you because YOU are special!! xo Tanya

back to school Reminder about energy, friends & negative people

Hi blog family!
I know it's been a minute but I knew you started school and you have alot of homework!
I want to remind you how to attract good friends at school and deal with negative people at school (or home)lol.......pay attention in science when they talk about energy!!

Remember: everything on  this earth...is made of energy
you are a ball of energy...some of us show it all the  time, some only when happy or excited.

I want you to do an experiment: (you don't have to tell anyone just do it)...

1.  go into a room extremely happy, smiling, feeling great and watch everyone in the room shift their energy....
*once in while you get a person that is just plain "low" on energy, maybe in there house there was no excited moments...that's ok, worry about you),
2.  pay attention to how people looked before you came in and after you bought in all that good positive energy...
.3.  I bet they are smiling or atleast feeling more upbeat...

this "feeling" works for anything you do in life-- so try to always "feel" good, (tell yourself every morning that you won $50 million)--hold that feeling as if you really won...that will keep your energy up!!!
When your trying to attract new people in your life that are good and positive....it is imporant that you show that trait by trying to always have a smile on your face and a good word to say....to anyone...
positive energy attracts positive energy.....negative energy attracts.....negative!

 Stay away from anyone who is'Toxic"--mean, negative, arrogant, evil....whatever you want to call them, they complain all the time and they never have answers or solutions to a problem, they are always jelous, envy or greedy or angry----they only add by fighting, cursing, saying bad negative things, they always looking for the worse--stay away...they will DRAIN your positive energy and shift it to negative...now you will have an attitude or be mad!
NOT!!!!
Donot let ANYONE steal your postive energy--you can share it to pick someone up or make someone smile but DO NOT let someone turn your energy into negative!

HOW DO I KEEP POSITIVE ENERGY?
You do that by always being upbeat, positive, always coming up with a good solution to a problem, not complaining, FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF or worrying but thinking the BEST thing will happen in a situation--BECAUSE YOU DEMAND THE BEST SOLUTION!!.
I hope your meeting new friends that are going places....HOW WILL I KNOW????
they are usually upbeat and happy,
they go to class,
 help you with homework questions,
 encourage you to pick your head up--EVEN WHEN THINGS LOOK BAD!!
SOPOSE I HAVE A MEAN TEACHER....???
IT DOES NOT MATTER WHO IS NEGATIVE OR MEAN.....IT MATTERS THAT YOU USE YOUR POWER OF ENERGY TO SHIFT THEIRS TO POSITIVE!! How??
1. if they are violent and make you mad---walk away for now breath and then address it at a calmer time.
2. if they just never agree with you...do what the teacher wants, always smile and keep that million dollar smile ALL day !!! no one can hate on a smiling person or a happy person, just try it, if you stand your happy ground---what can they say??kill people with kindness or atleast with a smile....if it's really bad i told you get an adult to help you sove it but usually. you can do it on your own with positive energy....energy attracts energy..positive always wins!!!!
ok, you had a very important lesson today, i know its alot but I have to keep reminding you about energy becaue everything you do in this life--requires energy!! If you want to be on top--even when it seems like things are bad---keep your energy up....always feel like you won $50million dollars and your going to pick up the check now!!!!
You are loved special and the universe loves and needs you--cause you are it!!!! lets get them A's and B's and if you get a C.....you still rule!!!!xo Tanya

when someone is not responding to your needs

Hi blog family!
I know you are glad to be back at school. First- it is a great escape from group home life or a chaotic home!!
second-this is a chance to meet all types of new friends.
third-this is a chance to start over and try harder for better grades--or more stable grades and show you are serious about your schooling!!!

I wanted to talk to you about haters, negative people, nay sayers...etc.. call them what you want but it happens--there will be times when you are being kind and doing what you need to and a teacher or student just doesn't like you.
when this happens I want you to remember "this too shall pass"!!
If you find you don't like your teacher or they are always putting you on blast infront of the class or some kid is hating on you and calling you out to show off---IGNORE the student--or confront them with an adult present...

but for the mean teacher-- tell them how you think your being treated first in a nice calm voice or a letter, if that don't work---I suggest IF they are still really mean and have NO reason, (you wasn't throwing spitballs in class, talking over the teacher, making jokes, not finishing your work or not coming to class on time)...have a meeting with your guidance counselor and express how you feel, actually write a letter to the school and give it to your counselor, (this way you make a paper trail)...that is proof later, showing that you tried your best to let your teacher know how you felt or you let them know a kid was picking on you...then if something serious comes up....you have proof that you tried to get help first BEFORE you resulted to self defense or bad behavior..(which you are never to do...I told you before you are human and you were made with a mouth to speak----use it--not your hands---ever!!! no one is worth fighting for unless you are being beat down...(that's another story of self defense but you get the point)--use your words to talk not your hands!!
once you write down what you feel or why you think the teacher is singling you out or what a kid is doing wrong to you--
have the meeting with your counselor and suggest the principle sits in, (always have someone of authority sit down with you in these talks because sometimes people misuse what you say and lie---if more than two people are there it is likely to have 3 sides of the story, yours there's and the real one!!
also see if a counselor from your group home can attend if it is serious---you need someone to advocate for you, (stand up for you).
I find that when teachers are mean, there are many reasons: 
they are ignorant--
not well traveled, 
clueless on life and how to treat others with respect because they had none in their home or
 they hate their lives or
 they are prejudice, (never been around poor people, people outside there race) or 
they just want to stroke there ego and be in control....
Do your work in class, listen---no one can deny a kid help if they are being respectful and doing there part!!
You don't care about all that!--- (the teachers issues)..
 those are his or her problems not yours--you are there to learn and if they can't teach you, you need to be put in another class that can do the job!!! Once you had a talk with teacher, then a meeting with teacher principle and no one is helping you still---time to talk to your counselor at home and have them sit in...you have to have a team of support (counselor, therapist, another teacher etc..) they will help you show the other mean person that you are not the one to pick on!!! use your support and never stop until you get the help you need.!!! It is not what you say, but how you say it!!!
As far as kids being mean:
 If you are scared--tell someone, if it's not that scarey and you can face the kid, ask him or her oneday alone why they choose to spend there time bothering you and let them know you are here to learn and have no time for nonsense. I know it sounds corney but hey, you got to face your biggest fears sometimes head on!! I always go for the leader when I am trying to get rid of a bully, find out what there fears are or weakness find out what they like and have a one on one talk with them letting them know you are not the one and you will ignore them until they show you some respect..!! I have been your age---faced bullys, negative people, (still am at my age!!) it does not stop because your an adult it stops because you don't allow it!!! You are in charge remember??
 I don't allow bullys or negative people in my cypher..
.Life has enough challenges without you making friends with or being in a class with people who suck all of your good energy---
learn to stand up for yourself, without getting hurt or being disrespectful!! 

When people are not responding to your needs it is because you are not making yourself clear on your needs or they are disrespectful of others, therefore treating anyone anyway...not acceptable!!!

You are in charge of your life 99% (1% because you are a minor) lol.....
  you decide how you want people to treat you, give them the rules by not allowing garbage!!
No one can hurt you but you and by now you know that the universe needs you because you are a winner, a star waiting to shine!!
You can always hit me with questions--keep smiling no matter what is going on in your life--let your smile make someones day! At the end of the day---laugh, learn to laugh and blow it, (anything in life) all off, it's not that serious if you are alive!!!!!xo Tanya

break again!

Hey blog family!!
I hope you had a great couple of days back at school... I know it's new and all the new faces but consider this a challenge---to meet new friends who are brighter, less drama and have high dreams or goals!! I know I sound like a mom----I am!!!
I told you before you need to stay focused--on your A game, always being alert, ready and able to meet any challenge life throws you---and it will give you challenges!!!
You don't ever have to be scared---because you are a "challenge seeker"-- a person that always looks for new ways to grow and learn.
Remember if you stay in one place, you don't go nowhere.....lol  I am for real!!! listen enjoy your day off, i have been trying to get this book ready for you so please forgive me for not keeping up daily, when the book hits--I will have LOTS of information for you...for now, enjoy your weekend of and get ready to be on your best behavior---smile alot----listen----less talking-----learn to control your anger....by being quiet for 10 seconds when someone ticks you off....count to ten and then respond.....learn not to yell or be mean this year...we are starting fresh with a loving way...you catch more flys with honey.....bye for now my Prince and princesses of the blog world!! YOUR ARE THE HERO...remember the theme!! Tanya

SO your feeling like...why me?

Hey blog family!
School is getting closer and I think of all of you who just came and those who were already in a group home or foster home. I will be sharing alot with you so check in, I promise you will learn something!!

I remember when I first went into foster care..a group home at 5!! how devestating, all I could think was...why me??
I am trying to get you to change your thinking so now ask yourself...why not me???
The universe chooses it's winners carefully and wisely. You cannot be a leader or of greatness... without having gone through something, what experience would you have being wrong, sad, happy, nervous, different?? You must remember even when your in a group home....the real world moves on and it moves WITH you or WITHOUT you! So if you came into care for neglect, abandonment, abuse,,it does not technically matter, what matters is HOW you will use YOUR pain to help others and heal yourself!!
Don't sit and sulk or ask why me ask what can you do to help yourself or help others learn from what you went through. YOu can help other kids in pain by sharing, (yes, take a chance, EVERYONE in that group home got a secret, so don't feel like you the only one!!) take a chance on sharing your story with someone who may also be in pain....you may have something in common with them, you may be able to help them get help or open up to a therapist or counselor, you may save their life by listening and sharing.
It is hard to put your 411 (information) on the line BUT: somebody's got to do it if you want to move forward in your life!!
Don't ever be embarrassed about what happend to you, it was never YOUR fault, take ownership that something happend to get you in a group home but NEVER let it make you want to hurt yourself or others. This is (being in a group home) another lesson we neeeded to learn and share and we were chosen because other people could not handle it or they had different lesson to learn and share!
Remember: every human on this earth has experienced some form of pain in their family, no one is perfect and you can live without your birth family....by picking great friends and being the best you!!! You will attract all the people you need by having a winning attitude and being kind to others--even when they are not!! The universe always takes care of those that take care of themselves!!

As of today no longer ask why me? ask why not me and what can I do to help others through this... start keeping a journal of your experiences, share it with someone who loves to read or a counselor, write all your pain down and it will help you feel better once you see it on the paper--you should save it and look back months from now and see how you have grown from that pain...

you are loved and special and don't forget: the universe needs you to be the hero!!! xo Tanya

keeping in touch with siblings

Hi blog family!
I hope your summer is going well. Are you out exercising and NOT on FB every minute? are you reading books that will take your mind out of its comfort zone...and not on the computer ALL day long? ok enough...i just want you to be sharpening your mind! School is right around the corner and you may be weak in some areas if you don't hit them book now or visit the museum--something educational!!!

Have you been in contact with your sisters or brothers? Talk to your worker and see how you can make that happen. If they are in jail--you can write, just get a DIN # and address... if they are in the hospital..no problem, get the unit they are in.
YOu can have your worker arrange phone calls for you with your siblings. Don't be scared, this is your only family!!! Remember you have to advocate for yourself in a way that will get results....not make your worker mad....SO no Yelling, crying, screaming, hitting, ignoring... you have a mouth---use it with words that are magical and can get you results!! There is no reason you cannot talk to your sibling...unless they cannot be found or on in a facility that is strict , (rehabilitation)... ask your worker but try to contact them, especially if you are older.. WHY??

1. they need to know you are ok, just like you need to know
2. your voice may comfort them and make them WANT to do the right thing because they know they have someone to look up too
3. even if your parents lost their rights, that is your blood, try to maintain a relationship...unless they hurt you in some way...then i say talk with your therapist and work out the details.

I hope you are doing what you need to do to better yourself, getting ready for school, knowing your goals, writing them down...all that!!!
I will be checking on you.
don't forget....write or call your sibling..ask your worker if they can get skype on the computer or AIM and then you can conference them...see them!!!
you can also FB your sibling...ask the agency to set up a FB account for siblings...
there is always a way....
keep searching until you get the answers you need AND don't EVER give up...
 you are loved and special.... Get your education on, the universe needs you more than ever --your job is to change the world and make it a better place but first you have to be the best you--you can only do that by educating yourself!!!
xo Tanya
ps. check out the article they did :http://adoptuskids.org/resourceCenter/parentSupport/adopteeStories/story.aspx?k=Tanya