May 18th celebration reminder

hi blog family!
I will be spreading a message of why it is important to adopt, mentor and foster, especially older kids!! come here me speak if your in the area! smile, someone is watching you...make every day a good day-because you are alive, life is good!!! xo

“IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD”

COME CELEBRATE NATIONAL FOSTER KIDS MONTH!

When: Wednesday - MAY 18TH

Time:       4:30PM - 6:45pm (Refreshments 4:30-5:30pm)

Where:   The Mount Kisco Public Library 

100 E. Main Street, Mount Kisco, NY 10549

 (Conference Room 2nd floor)

• Motivational Speaker, Tanya Cooper, will be, sharing her experience in foster care, raising awareness on foster care issues, tell why fostering and adopting older kids is important, how we can help and read an excerpt from her new self help book for teens :  Surviving Foster Care And Making It Work For You!
• Awarding a youth aging out with The Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship!
• One local Senior citizen will be recognized for helping youth! 

summer is near

Hi blog family!

Life is SO sweet when you have a plan!!!!
ok. i know you have been going to school, its a piece of cake...ok so i could only photo cupcakes!
I am sure you have new friends, sports to do after school.and summer is coming but keep focused on your goal - to get your education,
become self sufficient and
 be a lover of life!!!
You are doing a great job so far, if not....
get back on track!!

If you are having any problems with classes and the teacher is being difficult....get an adult to help you have a conference and figure out if its you or the teacher...
you may need a tutor...your school should provide one for free! if its the teacher.....
either deal with it and try to get a 70 atleast...or switch out of the class...yes it can be done just talk to your counselor or worker...
and then the principle if that does not work...u need to have decent grades to get to atleast community college!!
Of course your going, it is free for you and you are going to Utilize all your resources like I tell you to in my book: Surviving foster care and making it work for you!!! (lulu.com now) ..and creatspace.com next)...i will give you the link by next week..

failure is NOT an option! Education is the key to independence!!! You will be bigger, brighter and plan better than your parents!!! NO excuses only action...xo
smile, someone is watching you!!!
Tanya
May is National foster care awareness month..check out what I am doing so that people will know about all of you older kids waiting to find a home!!!

“IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD”

COME CELEBRATE NATIONAL FOSTER KIDS MONTH!

When: Wednesday - MAY 18TH

Time:      4:30PM - 6:45pm (Refreshments 4:30-5:30pm)

Where:  The Mount Kisco Public Library 

100 E. Main Street, Mount Kisco, NY 10549

 (Conference Room 2nd floor)

• Motivational Speaker, Tanya Cooper, will be, sharing her experience in foster care, raising awareness on foster care issues, tell why fostering and adopting older kids is important, how we can help and read an excerpt from her new self help book for teens :  Surviving Foster Care And Making It Work For You!
• Awarding a youth aging out with The Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship!
• One local Senior citizen will be recognized for helping youth! 
• Q & A from audience 

• RSVP Reply to: tgirlcooper@yahoo.com 
• Visit our blogs of encouragement- GOOGLE: Fosterkidsunite, Exfosterkidsunite 

energy equals energy

hey blog family!
I know its been a minute-i am trying to get this book out for you!! soon!
In the meantime- i hope you are doing good in school and if you was not, you are trying to get better grades, meet better friends and be a better person.

Remember what i said about energy? how you feel? it determines if your going to have a good day or not by how you "feel"..i want you to keep feeling" like you won $1million dollars!! You can attract more to you if you are smiling and feeling good-no one wants to give to a unhappy face or a nasty person...your lesson for the day...."feel" like you won $1million dollars!! even when you wake up-stop complaining its too early- its never to early to enjoy life!! Be glad you got up...somebody did not wake up this morning!!

I lost my baby brother but him and I always woke with cheer because we knew, tommorrow is NOT promised-so what you do while you are here: who you help, who you are kind to, how good you are to yourself and your body-all matters!!! You are KING and QUEEN and we need you to change this universe! Go out smiling and shinning superstar!!! xo Tanya

Rememebering Dr. KIng

hi blog family!!

we salute Dr. king for all his hard work and giving his life so that we may have true freedom!! You as young people have a calling to keep this freedom going and to honor those that died for you by going to school, traveling the world to see all 'God" has made and the universe has to offer and to respect and honor one another. There is no gang that can love you like you and no one can respect you until you respect yourself--you cannot do that if you are doing dirt--selling, skipping school, fighting, being disrespecful...You must rise and let the world see our next generation is our hero's... Rise young people, rise!! I have great respect for you and i know you can do anything better than the last genereation IF you stay focused and keep your eye on the prize of life, love and happiness!!

Remembering Dr. King

 We must remember to honor our assisnated hero's with choice- choice to do right when wrong is easier

choice to love, when hatred is everywhere

choice to be educated and world traveled, not stiffled and stagnent in one place and frame of mind!

choice to not only say we are free at last, but to be thankful for those like Dr. King thankful enough to live every day with choice, honor, respect, love and wanting to help others...

Thanks Dr. King for showing  us freedom = choice these two things is what America is about! Without choice and freedom, life is very limited. Lets keep his dream alive by doing what we were called here to do and  with each of doing this -  we can be a great nation.

by:

Tanya C

remember you are needed by this universe and God has plans for all of us, if we listen and act..xo

being grateful

hi, todays lesson:

what are you grateful for? YOUR LIFE!! think --write down all the good in your life, friends, family, clothes, food, education access...and think and feel grateful....you are able to talk, walk, write and smile, this is alot to be grateful for... You cannot  get more from the universe until you appreciate what you have!! you are special, loved and needed by the universe...help make this world better by getting your education and finding your gifts..xo Tanya

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy New year to you all blog family!


What time is it?


Time for reflection, 
time to move forward, 
not backward, 
time to heal old wounds 
time t recover from the storms losses. 
Time, 
Time,
 Your time to shine
Make a plan,
 write it down, 
breath it,
live it!


* be blessed for the new year and let no one bring you down, stay focused, positive and alert to all things good!

by:  xo Tanya

The search is on for foster families

Hi blog family!

I saw an article today with this headline: "The Search is on for foster families. The article states that they are trying to take foster kids who was taken out of their homes in an emergency and put into temporary shelters- and place them with family's. THey say this will save their city millions of dollars a year....

I am not going to co-sign yet! Why not?
 Because everything that sounds good, may not be.
#1 we know (and I talk about it in my book), a constructive foster home is always better than a group home. Constuctive meaning all family members are functional, non abusive and the foster child is not being played for money or treated 2nd class...yes, we know this happens from time to time.
#2 Some foster homes are too crowded with too many kids and you don't get the attention you need, so you may act out....when there are too many kids and not enough adults per 2 kids, you might as well be placed in a group home! I never liked people having 10 foster kids (none related) and all ages ...you have to be careful if they came from an abusive home, they may act out on younger children...I know-I was one of them!

#3 I also don't think a child should ever have to go back to a home (if they choose) that physically or sexually abused them---they had there chance to love and protect you and they messed up, why should you suffer, or be reminded or learn their behavior? You deserve only the best don't feel sorry, or sad, just change your thinking and know that you don't need people around that don't treat you like the king or queen you are!! including family!!! I always  tell you- that is why we have "friends"-you choose them, if you do it right they are just as good if not better than "a family" that abused you...
when it comes to pysical abuse - If you choose to go back home- so be it, but sexual assault on any child is the only act  not forgiveable or forgetful in my book...forgiveness??NOT - and neither should you (forgive in your heart if they ask but that does not mean hang out or live togeather or even eat togeather...
again I always talk to you with truth..and you should read and know I only have your best intentions at heart.
If I ever say anything confusing, talk to a counselor, show them the blog and let them explain. I want you to release any anger you have for your past family, past abusers, foster care. I want you to start healing your mind from abandonment.  Read, meditate and learn to love people...you need extra love and concern...it's out there..

What can you as a foster child do? 
protect your future and educate your mind--stay in school!!!
I am in my 40's and things have changed a little, (more allowance, in care less time, workers who actually care and help, workers who have bosses and board members who want to advocate change...

there is change BUT we know fostering will always be about $$$$ and paperwork.
Not on a negative note but you need to understand the hard truth...nothing worthwhile is free!! So with that in mind I want you to stay focused only on you, your goals and how to achieve them and who can help you achieve them.
Life deals us all odd cards--play anyway..good thing is you never loose...if you keep playing. work on how to be a better you and how to make a difference in the world with your talent.

When you see articles like this or news headlines you won't care because you know, you are making a difference in you, and if you become an independent, contributor to this society (stay out of trouble, no rehabilitation, jail, morgue...etc...), then you have done a great job!!!
You are King and Queen, get your education so that you may take your thrown and rule!!! xo Tanya

feeing down?

Soc Le Cour (this is the top of Paris, once you climb those stairs and look down you feel like you are on top of the world--YOU ARE--everyday if you believe it!!!

hi blog family!!!

I know the holidays are among us and this is a hard time for anyone without family OR anyone who did not get the holiday love and peace they deserved as a child. THis is a time where many take their own lives or may do more drugs or high risk behavior things. 

I write to you today to encourage you to stay strong and know that YOU have divine purpose!! Yes, I say it often but i say it in truth. How do I know?

 How could you be so divine with so many problems to face in this life?? YOU are human and we are all here on this earth to experience ALL elements of this earth, love, joy, pain, excitement, family, whatever--each of us have our own map to follow. 

For you NOT to be depressed, you have to erase the word from your vocabulary...use another like..i am feeling so challenged today.

 Don't allow negative words or people in your life...even if it means being alone until you find new friends, mates or family substitutes!!

Life is hard but don't take it personal--we all go through something at sometime!!! 

The universe does not pick on one person, it has lessons, great, ugly and bad for ALL of us!! 

How you work through them or learn from them is the divine part, this will tell you how much charector you have or will have! You cannot get charector without going through something!!

 You must always believe that feeling down is only temporary--even slaves and those in the holocaust found  a second to laugh or smile at something...don't dwell on what you cannot change and if you can change it--get to work!!! 

You are needed for our future to be brighter!!:

someone would not be here without you!

 Someone would die,

 cry 

or kill without you in their lives, 

 do matter most-don't forget it and spread love to someone today, 

call a friend that comforts you. 

When all else fails and you have no one look to the sky and tell the universe "thanks for my life, no matter where i am at" because i have life, i can always get more, do more and be more...

xo Tanya

I thank the universe for you, because you are reading my blog which means I am doing something right...smile, we all love you and know you are important to the universe!!

Giving back, making money and not thinking you are entitled

Hi blog family! I hope your thanks- give- ing was good!

 I spent mine giving and then eating! 

 you must learn to give back BEFORE you celebrate turkey day and xmas... give food, gloves, old sneakers or clothes to the homelss. When you live in a group home You are less likely to have active parents to teach you about giving and how not to take advantage of something...

You need to see and feel why you should be thankful...not just for your life but quality of life, if you are reading this blog and in a group home--you are blessed to have a computer!! 

You can see and you have your brain or you would not be on this site!!

 The universe needs you to use your gifts and talent...you will find out what that is as you get older (some of you know) singing, dancing sports, writing, poetry, drawing etc...

On another note: I know usually after leaving foster care many will end up needing section 8 or DSS (welfare). You are still young to let this NOT be your destiny!

I want to challenge you. 

If your  family was on welfare before you went into care.....be working toward a goal to become independent of it- to never need it! (learn to save your $, have two jobs)...

I don't think welfare  will be here forever.

 If you age out of foster care and you need it--you should utilize it IF you NEED it and cannot find a job but know that you still need to keep looking and thinking of ways to get income so that you won't need it! Don't ever want something for free all the time--it is addictive and you will start to feel you are entitled..or derserve it! Welfare was sopose to be created for families who just lost a job or a mate or had a medical bill that put them in the poor house..it was to be used to "assist" a family on getting back on their feet not "permently aide them for the rest of their lives...You are never to young to learn what NOT to do!!

Often adults get caught in a traditional cycle-and teach their kids the same-(grandma was on public assistance,mom, so i will too or they pass thier section 8 apartment to the kids..)... 

there are times when fate happens...an accident that put you out of work, 

sudden death of spouse, 

family financial tragedy)..when you will have to go to get help with heat, (heap), food, or medical--that is ok, but if you are expecting it because you aged out of foster care....that is not the mentality you want. 

why? 

because if you think you "deserve" it "forever" then you will always be dependent on it-forever!

Start thinking of it as a temparary solution only and think of ways to get off....as you get older...

start making jewelry, 

teach your  language to college kids or foreigners,

 babysit...

clean houses/apts (all you need to start is cleaning supply's and references)

you know how to hussle if you grew up in foster care! and I don't mean selling illegal things...i mean hussle like "creative  new income" for yourself that is legit.

At your teenage years now. you could rake neighboors yard, walk dogs, clean up yards, you can always make legit money IF you do something or make something people NEED.. 

 Later as you get older, If you speak any language well, you can teach english...put an add up at a local college...if you make earrings, bring them to all the hair salons you know...craft fairs...you can always make money--IF you have something people need or want!!

 Use your brain power--people who grew up in foster care have extra--that's how we survived!! look at the show shark tank....these are people figuring out how to generate extra income or create a career for themselves--being their own boss. You can do it--anything you put your mind to it but you have to start thinking out of the box!! You are young, gifted and an asset to this earth, keep a good positive spirit and you will be blessed!

smile someone is watching you!!

xo Tanya

What does this holiday mean to you?

Hi blog family!

Today is a time to reflect on when the pilgrams tricked the Indians....lol...Just kidding... :) gotta have humor!!!

This is a time to reflect. 

I know we have been taught to celebrate but what are you celebrating? life? giving? love? the chance to help others? 

I believe every thanksgiving should start with early morning cooking, 

20 plates prepared and taken to an area you know homeless people would be today, 

and then.... 

come back home and have a feast of thanks!

--thanks that you were spared another year,

 thanks that you had food for you AND for others,

thanks that you have and give love to others,

 thanks that you can help others, 

this is what thanksgiving should be about, 

teaching our young to go out and help others first--

perhaps give away that coat you never wear, 

perhaps bring a scarf and old light worn pair of sneakers..

something to show the universe that you are thankful and a person of change.

If you give of yourself, it lessens your worrys AND the universe always rewards those that give by brining more peace and love into your life, Happy thanksgiving please reach out and help someone today...even invite someone with no family over, and then eat!!!

Tanya

negative media

hi blog family!
I hope you are having a great weekend!!
I read an article on NILA website talking about the condition of young black males-that they are in a bad way basically.
I want to tell you...stop letting ANYONe or any MEDIA put bad ideologies (things) in your head!! You are not in a crises physically it's mentally!! why? because we have allowed the media to judge us, tell us what is or is not good for us and what we do--we forgot- you are it.

Make no mistake there is no "problem with the black male eccept--he is allowing everyone to define him but himself! If you are a black male reading please know that your history says you were king. News flash...YOU STILL ARE KING!!"
 all men are created equal"
you have been told lies that "most" of you rob, quit school, in jail, steal, abandon family--and now the false wording that the media put on you is appearing to come true because that is all they show of you!
This is why I get ticked off at the lil waynes/nicky minage or any artist that promotes blacks as funny charectors rather than a people who come from a great lineage of kings and queens--but they won't tell you that--that is why you have to do your own research!!

 All people are great but we are only told about certain cultures or religions as to keep those in the limelight and portrayed as good- don't get it twisted we are equally great--all of us!! latino, polish, black, jew muslim, christian, ALL-
Everyone has divine purpose as I always say and you are no ecception!
WHen you hear negative things in the media about black men blow it off and know they are only talking about a few not all and they definatley are not talking about you becasue you are handling your business of being number one and enjoying this life!
You are king and should laugh when anyone tells you different... keep reigning but keep doing what you have to do to take back your kingdom--especially your mental kingsom!!
go to school to be: lawyers, doctors, engineers, scientist...kings creat solutions for the universe, they cannot be self centered or small thinkers, they think out the box--don't sell on a corner or sell your soul--you are king!!

keep your heads up you are not "extinct" you are in need of a new mental attitude!! wake-up!! Tanya
and anyone else this applies to you-you must think the highest of yourself-even in foster care!!

assignment for you

Hi blog family!!

I hope school is good, new friends, chances, new life.. I hope you are being the King or Queen you are...(not dragging lol...):) jk...

Your only job today is to go out into the big bold beautiful world smiling and "feeling" good!

 If you "feel" good good things will happen (so says the secret and me, i tried it)... how you feel determines how your day will go!

Please try feeling good today--no matter what obsticles come in your way--it works -your energy level rises and you feel like you won $1million dollars--and about to go get it---keep that feeling....

.have a great day!!

xo Tanya

what is your biggest fear after foster care?

hi blog family!
What will be your biggest fear after you leave foster care?  
NONE!
yes, because you are doing what you need to now to secure your future.
 Going to classes,
 getting a tutor if needed,
 staying away from knucklehead people,
 evil people, violent people,
you are only surrounding yourself with people who value you and help you become BETTER and enjoy life!
You are staying away from drugs and drinking because you know foster kids cannot afford-mentally or financially to "get high" - you know that you need all your brain cells to make good decisions and that ONE bad one-can change your life-forever..jail, rehab, gang, morgue..... 
I know you are saving money when you get your allowance-because you know in a few years when you leave--all those $5 you saved up for the last few years will turn into a couple of thousand--enough for you to give security money and one months rent or two months for a room!

You have no fears about being without a home--because you are planning and plotting your great future that will be full of adventure, fund, money, helping others and making things happen!!!
You are not waiting for anyone to "save" you because you know--you are the hero and the world is waiting for you to save it!!!
stay on your grind-stay focused and keep reading any self help books you find!!!
the world is yours--go get it!
 peace xo Tanya

remembering you are the HERO

Hi blog family!
I was reading an article today from Massachusettes stating they are behind and tyring to change foster care. OMG....some things never change!! and some take forever-we don't have time kids are dying!

HELLO! WHen will we all wake up? How many children have to become cutters, commit crimes, go to rehabilitation or the morgue? NONE!

I have been saying for years to anyone working with foster kids- TEACH KIDS THAT THEY ARE THERE OWN HERO'S! 
States are spending tons of money asking people who never went through the system or any situation without parents-how to fix it!
Does that make sense? I am begging all in charge to start hiring us - former foster kids like myself, who now consult with agencies, foster parents, attorneys. You will get the edge and save lots of money.
-------------------------
For my teens- I want you to start paying attention to EVERYTHING you do!
Getting to classes on time,
doing your homework,
 staying after for help when you need it,
asking for advice or help when you need it,
how you choose your friends..that go to class and do NOT get high or drink...
All of this is what really matters in the end.
You make you bed and only you will lie in it.  You can be happy now--not later--now!!think it create it- do it!!! open your bank account now--even if you can only put $1 a week!! Now - now!!
Don't listen to adults who complain that their life sucks--they did or did not do something to contribute to this poor, unhappy life!
If you ask anyone--including myself-any mishaps that I had in life--I take responsiblity for them because I had CHOICE and FREEDOM to chose--and chose wrong...
If you want a quality life with money, success, good friends, your own family and to be a productive memeber to society--YOU have to start PLANNING NOW!!! EVERYTHING YOU DO-NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL-WILL BE AN INVESTMENT IN YOUR FUTURE OR A MAGNET TO KEEP YOU IN THE PAST...THE PAST OF BEING: broke, homeless, no friends, bad grades, labeled troublemaker...whatever...YOU put the titles on YOU by taking action to make a better future.
The next time a friend wants to drink or do something you know is wrong, ask yourself, will this effect my life in any way bad--if it does--you know what to do!!!
I write this blog in hopes that one kid will read something encouraging. you can write back you know..xo smile, someone younger is watching and you need to be a good example...you are the best! Tanya
ps. get off the computer so much (accept when you read my blog) and read a book, never forget how to spell or read a hand held book, what will you do if your computer is down??? read, get up get out and do something to challenge your life!!!
take a hike, walk, play a guitar, ride a bike, rollerblade, bowling, do something different, play lacross, tennis....something...don't stand in your little box, it only becomes smaller as you get older, step out and challenge yourself TODAY!!!

What role does a parent played in our lives

hi blog family!

I know it is hard being in care, especially if you were taken from your parents, they died or they gave you away.

I have good news for you that should help you get through it!

YOUR PARENTS ONLY JOB SOMETIMES--IS TO GET YOU HERE!

yes, you heard me right. not all parents were meant to raise the children they birth. Why? Because the universe has many good people waiting to help you in your life journey. You must always remember this life is not about YOU, it's about WHAT you do to save or change a life. 

You were born with a gift that no one else has. You were born to keep someone else from dying or being sad. You were born to find a cure for cancer, AIDS. You were born for a reason!

Now that you know this-live your life EVERY day thinking: what is my mission TODAY to find out what my gifts are AND how can I help save or change a life today?

Your problems always seem smaller when you are helping others. Life has many challenges-but you must face them with your head high and walk proud because the universe needs you and someone needs your help- who are you going to help while helping yourself become the great star that you are? Go out into the world each day shinning like a star! You have divine purpose xo Tanya

surviving foster care and making it work for you is ready!!

ok the book is done-let all of your counselors know to hit the link above, I am working on a way for you to get it for free-be patient and know I wrote this just for you!! If you read it and obsorb (let it sink in)...you will learn something! xo Tanya

how was your day

hi blog family!

i know school is going great and you are choosing good friends who are active in life, sports and have a goal in life!

 I was talking to a young man in jail-he is only 18!!! he is suppose to be going off to college, traveling the world to discover new things-not behind bars.
He admitted that he could have chosen better options-but chose to hang around knuckle heads who wanted to stand on corners and chase easy dirty paper! (chasing dirty paper only gets you 5 choices: jail,enemy's, injury (from all the gunfire)...addiction and death! Not good options for a person like you that is going places better than your parents!!!
He admitted that he use to be an A student but at some point because of his home life-he gave in to the pressures of the street. I was sad when he told me this because I can say-he is not no "criminal"- he just got caught up in the streets.
I tell you all this so that you know why you SHOULD NOT get caught up in the streets-unless you are out there promoting your new mix tape (because you rap or sing) OR unless you are feeding the homeless OR working for a runaway shelter and looking for teens who need a warm bed for the night!! Amel Laureux summed it up in her song: "The streets can't love you --please YouTube the lyrics... you were born into this cold world...(look it up:))

you are to love and respect yourself most: that means not putting drugs in your body, hurting yourself or others,  smoking cigs, having boy or girl friends who use you or treat you like garbage!
You are  here for a divine purpose-remember??
You was born for a reason and remember i always tell you my biggest lesson learned after foster care and becoming a mother: YOUR parents were only a vehicle to get you here! Some will ride us through life-others will leave or be taken instantly--you are here..it is no accident!!
 Those of us in foster care will have other angels that will help us learn and share whatever our divine purpose is...to help, save or change a life...
You must remember there is NO ONE like YOU!!! You are the KING and QUEEN of the universe- with that in mind---get your education, learn what makes you special and how to help others...

you do not have time for jail or any negative situation so make wise choices EVERYDAY you walk out your door!!
If you are confused on why your here -write me- i will explain and if i cannot talk to a counselor or tell them to write me, there are always answers- you just have to ask the question until you hear the answer!
I am signing off for now but know that you are loved and the universe needs you, so get your education and start finding a cure for AIDS or cancer please--peace Tanya

make a difference

hi blog family!
I know school is going good and you are making good choices for your future!
I wanted you to remember you can make a difference--even in foster care!

 Share your talent or gift with others, (singing, writing, math, computerskills, sports),
teach some kid that is clueless how to do something better!
If all else fails......smile, you may save or change a life...

 I finished my book: Surviving fostercare and making it work for you" - i will let you know how to get it next week...
do something positive this week and always take care of you by treating your mind and body sacred! xo tanya

what to do when the police approach you?

Hi blog family!
I do not like writing about bad things--unless it can help you. Since most of you reading are in a group home, I am guessing you have no one to tell you this. A college football player was killed near my town a few days ago. He was parked in a fire zone--that means no parking because the fire trucks have to have access to that spot to give water--if a fire or emergency occur)...anyway the young black male saw the officer coming over to knock on the window, (which in NYC, that means move your car fast!) BUT the young man started driving off because he thought the police knock wanted him to move, (so says his friend that was a passenger in the car)..the other cop thought he was "escaping" and jumped on the hood and started shooting--killing the young man, and the man running over another officer (dahaa he was shot)...the point of this story?
You are kind of young but I know you realize alot of black men, boys are being shot, for no reason...Amado Dialo--reaching for a wallet--Rodney king--beaten, the hatian asulted by police officers...even eleanor bumpers...it seems to SOME cops black life has little meaning, shoot, then ask questions.....SO what can YOU do?? first-dont be angry, this is our cross to bear in this life--it may not be right but it is OUR job to teach others that we are human to and we deserve the same respect as any other human. So take away the anger--(because many things will happen as far as race as you get older BUT YOU never let others get a reaction from you and you never participate in RACISM--against ANYONE! It is the most evil thing on earth--look at what slave masters did and Hitler--literally killing, maming, raping, beating people---because of their color or religion! Read the book the LOttery... go to the library and get it for free! read night--a great book about a man who survived Oustiwitz--(hitler concentration camp)..Read Nelson Mandel's book...he was in jail over 25 years because of racism-and he came out a winner! There is no excuse to be a loser--many have survived racism and came out still with love in their hearts!

Your job is to never react with retalitaion, but carefrontationally and with thought--how can I make this person see they are wrong for picking on me ...I don't care who it is: the racist teacher, cop, student--racist are all the same, they don't want you to grow or enjoy life and they will do ANYTHING in their power to stop you, (not educate you, lie on you, call you names like the N word and tell you lies about your history--so that you are confused, lost and desperate--don't worry, none of this matters, you work on being a better you--because there will always be jerks in the world--learn how to work around them or step over them in a kind way--by ignoring them or showing them what  has made you last this long-strength, courage and wisdom!
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IF YOU ARE STOPPED BY POLICE: go ask any cop you know or trooper (for the highway)..they know better than me but if you were my son or daughter--i would say...
1. if you are walking-stop (woman cannot be searched by a male officer)- men they are only sopose to search you if they have cause, (they saw you make a deal, in a fight with a weapon)... this will not be your case..
2. hope there are witness around but if not stay calm and do as your told! no talking back, cursing, drama--do what your told, lay on the ground, against the car..do it-your job is to get to the precint or home SAFE!
3. don't remind them but they have to read you your maranda rights IF they arrest you--if they dont--follow along until you get to the precint or home--
4. know a lawyer who can advise you on a innocent situation...i was once stopped on 60th street in NYC with my black male friend.....because he was wearing a hoody!! the cop was racist and luckily for me an attorney was present and we got to go AFTER he searched my friend..(he wanted to search me but i knew he could not and thank god, he did not...it was clearly a bad situation for us but we stayed calm because he had the gun and the power...when you have your hand in the lions mouth, take it out slowly...." (mom proverb)..:)
5. NEVER run or drive away from a police officer-
 don't grab for your wallet until asked--even then tell them what you are doing-they may think you have a gun or knife-!!!
if you are pulled over, turn off the car
sit in your car with you hands on the steering wheel, (they can see them), do not make any sudden moves or cell calls, they will let you if they feel it's secure and no crime committed--
  No one can help you if you make sudden moves, drive off, bend like you getting something from under a seat--it does not look right and it gives them reason to shoot--they "thought" they were in danger


6. know your rights! google them! cops are less likely to walk over an educated person who has family in high places BUT you need to know what is legal when your walking or confronted by a cop--so that you donot get shot like that young man. Dont argue with a cop for any reason--even if he calls you the N word or makes you step on glass (like a cop did to my friend)...until you get your lawyer---they are always "right"-do as they say so you donot get killed.

Your life is most valable-you have to know this and treat yourself always like royalty--the world will not operate the same without you, a piece will be missing. Value your life by NOT getting into trouble, educating yourself and being an asset to this world... you are loved and needed xo Tanya

what makes you special

Hi blog family!
I know you are doing well in school, making new friends, staying positive and enjoying learning because you know this will help you with a future!!

What makes you so special. have you ever been asked that? here are some answers you should be coming up with:


1. because the universe needs me to help others, not everyone can help effectively-- I have divine purpose and I know this because I am in foster care AND/OR I survived abandonment, abuse and/or neglect--not everyone has survived, since I did--I know I have purpose!
2. because the creator made me, and we all are special
3.  because no one makes people laugh and forget about their problems like me!
4. " I share and care about people i come in contact with, making a difference in everyone's lives that I meet!
5. I am unique, with gifts and talents that will help this universe move further along.
6. I am the next big thing: scientist to cure cancer, president, doctor, singer that moves listeners with my voice.etc..

I hope you get the point--you have divine purpose. Most of us do but never realize it. Always know the creator created you for a reason. Your parents were only a vehicle to get you here, now you have to figure out, (with help from your angels and friends), how to capialize on being special! Make a lasting impression when you meet ALL people, be kind, compassionate, and caring--you will always make friends and be a blessing to others. Remember you never know what state of mind someone is in: suicidal, homicidal, angry etc... so always try to MAKE someone's day with an act of kindness!

smile someone is watching you because YOU are special!! xo Tanya