The mind is a terrible thing to waste...

Hi blog family!
I know it has been a minute but as I always say: "life is happening, even when we take a break!"
I was hoping your in good spirits today.

 I want you to know why you should stay away from drugs and drinking AND cigerettes!!
1. your mind is a terrible thing to waste, remember that commercial?

 You are young and growing why would you think you needed unatural things in your body??
I want you to know, your brain is still growing along with your body, if you put chemicals in you get distractions in your brain that may make you behave in a bad way.

2. I told you before you have to learn to talk about ANYTHING that is bothering you or making you want to hurt yourself or others! 
Talking is the best medicine when you are down, alone, sad or mad, I know because I have lived a little longer, (ok i am sounding like my foster mother)... LOL....

3. If you are a teen that feels you need to be "out of your mind" to have a good time, (high)..you may need help..
you may not think so but it is NOT "normal" to want to relieve stress by getting high.
 I understand teens will be teens but i was a teen (not too long ago) and I did not like the fact that some of my friends were getting high or drinking,
one because they acted stupid and two because you do things you may not normally do...like talk to someone you know is bad for you or hang with a bad crowd, get in trouble, talk back to staff, you know, i don't have to tell you...doing drugs is not a good move.

You are in foster care and need ALL of your brain cells to get through this life WITH your sanity!!!
You can't think right when your high and you make excuses to be lazy and not complete your goals,.
Don't tell me about all the famouse or rich people who admit to doing drugs, because no matter what they tell you in the media, they are not fine, if they were, why would they have a need to "get high" with all that money, wouldn't you be out enjoying it???
Drinking and getting high is for people who don't want to do the mental work....they think if they get high there problems will go away....NOT, they are still there but worse...the only way to solve a problem--any problem...is talking it out!!!
You are special and loved....
Your mission this week:
go smile and be nice to a kid at school that no one is nice to...just smile atleast...i bet you will have a great day just for doing that..... 
be kind, it cost nothing...xo Tanya

when no one believes you because your a kid!

Hi Blog family, it's been a minute, I know..life is always happening, even when you stop!
I hope you are all well and will tell your friends about my site and my friends at www.thepurpleproject.com and theundergroundrailroadtosuccess.com both of these sites are great resources, (places you can use for information). When you find people or information that will save or change a foster kids, or anyones life, you have to let people know, don't keep a good thing to yourself!

What do you do when something bad has happened, and no one believes you because your a kid?


1st. THIS IS ONE REASON YOU MUST NEVER LIE,(UNLESS IT WAS TO SAVE YOUR LIFE OR SOMEONE'S LIFE)!
If you are the type of kid that always lie's, when it is time for you to tell the truth and you try, no one will believe you because you have no "credability! (that means no one thinks you tell the truth)

2nd. You build credability by always being honest, always keeping 100% as you young ones say! No candy coating a lie or making up extra things of what happened, only the truth from start to finish!

3rd. Yes, even when you have a good reputation and you tell the truth, there are people who will not WANT to believe or trust you because THEY are messed up! ( yes, not just foster kids have issues, some people had there family, and they are still more messed up than us, atleast we are required to go to therapy and talk, even if we don't take advantage of it yet!) Alot of people will not go to therapy unless they are faced with issues or they are required by court, so alot of people never get the help they needed to process their childhood issues like us, so in a way, you are lucky because you are asked to deal with your problems, even if you don't the option is there for you)
 I know your too young to know this yet but i am warning you not everyone is good BUT most people want to do good and that's what you have to go on.
4. If someone does not believe you: teacher, friend, social worker, whoever: you have to ask yourself why does this person not believe me?
If you can say because you are known to lie, don't be mad at them for not believing you, just keep telling the truth and eventually they will see you are more honest
If you told a BIG lie, (someone hurt you and they did not), this is wrong because you could ruin someone's life for good!
 Never play with another life by lying. 
If someone is really hurting you and no one believes you, if it has to do with abuse of any kind, report it, teachers, doctors, social workers and police are "mandated " reporters, meaning they must file a report and tell the proper people.
This is why you can't lie to "get even" or because you are mad at someone, lying in this case can bring harm to someone's life or career BUT if they are harming you, then it is your duty to tell so this happens to no one else!
Truth is always best because it free's  you from more lying. I would rather someone not like me because I am honest Sometimes the truth will hurt and expose bad people, places or things, that's ok, but lying, that is no ok because you want to be known in your community, especially as a foster kid, as a person of charector and truth, always helping others and spreading GOOD energy!

You are blessed and highly favored! Go out and smile, make someone's day, I will talk to you soon, and spread the word for other kids to come visit or leave comments, this site is for you, XO Tanya

I'ma be!! Black eye peas..

Hi blog family!
 I hope you had a great day in school and now it's time for the weekend. I was listening to the black eye peas today...."I'm a be".... What does that mean to you?
They are tying to tell you to be whatever you want as long as YOU plan it and do it!! Always look for new ways to improve yourself and to help others.  Next time you listen to that song think of what YOU are going to be!! whatever it is is all good as long as you are about change, love and advancing your life to be the best you!

xo Tanya

Processing information ie....talking

Hi Blog family!

I hope you got up today thanking your maker for another beautiful day, remember each day you are alive, breathing and able to walk, talk and or think....is a great day, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!
I wanted to tell you sometimes if I talk about things that make you sad or mad i want you to talk about it with your therapist, social worker, teacher, friend or counselor!
FIGHTING IS NEVER AN OPTION!!
 Because why you say??
 4 reasons!!
 YOU ARE NOT an animal, (REMEMBER:they can't talk and have to mark there territory or defend themselves by proving they are the strongest="fighting")
 YOU are human, and you can talk about how you feel!!!! 
You were created to use your mind!!! 
You are brilliant!!!
Sometimes talking about things like today can bring back memories that may or may not be good and I want you to learn at your young age, how to: "process" information. 
This means that you "talk" about whatever it is that has happend today or yesterday, that effected your life.
Don't feel bad if you reacted in the past by NOT talking about things and keeping them inside.
 I don't want you to do that because it creates anger, hate, hurt, revenge seeking or just plain bad feelings!
You are too young to be wanting revenge or hating anyone!
YOur life should be having fun and learning to be a great person that knows how to talk to ALL people, (we don't do prejudice of any kind, it's worthless, mean and we don't want to be like hitler do we?)
 It is NOT good to hold in anything that makes you mad....ANYTHING!!
You always have the option to talk to someone. 
I think God made friends and the universe brings you friends so that if you don't like your therapist, counselor or teacher, you have someone else to talk to.
I know, most people have their mom or dad or siblings but we usually don't have them easily available if were in a group home OR they are "dysfunctional", (meaning they are not mentally able to help you right now because they are not able to make good decisions).
Find someone who has GOOD, clear logic--they can make good decisions and you know because they are living a good, healthy life, that you would like to have one day!

You are always loved and highly favored. Smile and be kind to EVERYONE, (yes, even the jerk), you are going to save, change or help a life today!!! Go gettem!!!
XO Tanya

control your anger

Hi Blog family!!
 i hope you had a great weekend! I wanted to talk with you today shortly about anger.
Anger is when  someone or something is making you feel SO bad that you are now mad and you want to scream or hit someone.
1st. hitting is NEVER acceptable! why? because God made people, not you, you never have the right to hit anyone.
There are times that i would not turn my cheek, like if someone was hurting me or my love one, one example, during slavery and the holocaust the slave masters and hitler were hitting and hurting, even killing people, I could not sit by and watch my family or friends die because of one man, this is the only time it may be excusable.
2nd you should not be in a situation that will cause you to be hit...learn to control your anger by taking a walk or breathing 10 times in and out... never let anyone see you cursing and carrying on, you have a mouth and a brain, if you look in the dictionary you can find some great words to tell someone off, without cursing!!!
3. know the difference between you and an animal--you can use your words, not your hands...an animal has to fight for its territory, not a human being, that's you, don't forget it!
you are loved and blessed, take care and smile, someone is watching you!
xo Tanya

good deeds

Hi Blog Family!

I know you had a good vacation and I know you took my advice and did something new, productive and different from your every day drill!
Congradulations for all your hard work, efforts and for your willingness to want change in your life!

My thoughts are brief today starting with a question and my  quote:

 " When your life is done, what do you want people to say about you?
"In this lifetime, you are only remembered by your smile, kind words or your last deed"- Tanya

I often speak of how you should help others. Two reasons: it takes the focus off of you and your problems and life is about finding your path AND helping others achieve theirs.

I write this blog in hopes that you will see someone is thinking of you always. I write so that I won't think about the days I was a kid in foster care and no one explained anything nor did they give me extra words of wisdom to help me in my foster care journey.
You must remember always to help others: go out in your comnunity, see if there is a reading program for kids, maybe you are good at telling stories or reading. Help at a soup kitchen, (get permission first), make a card for some senior at a nursing home who has no family and give it to the nurses station, telling her or him, you just wanted to brighten someone day. Sing to a nursing home during a holiday.
There are many things you can do to put a smile on someone's face, think of your talent and share it with the world, forget about your problems because they will resolve themselves if you keep living and striving for a better life through education, helping others and knowing that someone is watching over you.
xo Tanya
SMile and save or change a life!!!

What does this holiday mean to you?

Hi!
Hope you enjoyed your holiday, whether Jew or Gentile this is a day for renewing...starting a new day...If you believe it is the day Christ has risen after dying for our sins, or if you believe this is a time to not forget the past and how far you have come, either way, this is a time for new growth.
Think of all the things you no longer want in your life and things that are good in your life. Reflect on what you could do better, wiser.
You always hear and see Easter Eggs, chocolates and bunnies but that is not what this day is really about, someone died for our sins so that we could live, (if your christian). If your not you still celebrate passover for a similar reason..to remember...
we must always remember someone sacraficed for us to be here today, no matter what color you are, the human race progressed because someone fought, died or rallied for our basic human rights in America. This day should not be about the chocolate but about how we are priviledged to eat chocolate and have a week off of school!
Easter should be time for you to reflect and be thankful that someone cared enough to let you be where you are, and that is the reason you want to always achieve greatness, to show thanks and give back to others. life is great when you are living, live your life, be happy and smile, you may change, save or help someone!
xo Happy holiday, Tanya