back to school Reminder about energy, friends & negative people

Hi blog family!
I know it's been a minute but I knew you started school and you have alot of homework!
I want to remind you how to attract good friends at school and deal with negative people at school (or home)lol.......pay attention in science when they talk about energy!!

Remember: everything on  this earth...is made of energy
you are a ball of energy...some of us show it all the  time, some only when happy or excited.

I want you to do an experiment: (you don't have to tell anyone just do it)...

1.  go into a room extremely happy, smiling, feeling great and watch everyone in the room shift their energy....
*once in while you get a person that is just plain "low" on energy, maybe in there house there was no excited moments...that's ok, worry about you),
2.  pay attention to how people looked before you came in and after you bought in all that good positive energy...
.3.  I bet they are smiling or atleast feeling more upbeat...

this "feeling" works for anything you do in life-- so try to always "feel" good, (tell yourself every morning that you won $50 million)--hold that feeling as if you really won...that will keep your energy up!!!
When your trying to attract new people in your life that are good and positive....it is imporant that you show that trait by trying to always have a smile on your face and a good word to say....to anyone...
positive energy attracts positive energy.....negative energy attracts.....negative!

 Stay away from anyone who is'Toxic"--mean, negative, arrogant, evil....whatever you want to call them, they complain all the time and they never have answers or solutions to a problem, they are always jelous, envy or greedy or angry----they only add by fighting, cursing, saying bad negative things, they always looking for the worse--stay away...they will DRAIN your positive energy and shift it to negative...now you will have an attitude or be mad!
NOT!!!!
Donot let ANYONE steal your postive energy--you can share it to pick someone up or make someone smile but DO NOT let someone turn your energy into negative!

HOW DO I KEEP POSITIVE ENERGY?
You do that by always being upbeat, positive, always coming up with a good solution to a problem, not complaining, FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF or worrying but thinking the BEST thing will happen in a situation--BECAUSE YOU DEMAND THE BEST SOLUTION!!.
I hope your meeting new friends that are going places....HOW WILL I KNOW????
they are usually upbeat and happy,
they go to class,
 help you with homework questions,
 encourage you to pick your head up--EVEN WHEN THINGS LOOK BAD!!
SOPOSE I HAVE A MEAN TEACHER....???
IT DOES NOT MATTER WHO IS NEGATIVE OR MEAN.....IT MATTERS THAT YOU USE YOUR POWER OF ENERGY TO SHIFT THEIRS TO POSITIVE!! How??
1. if they are violent and make you mad---walk away for now breath and then address it at a calmer time.
2. if they just never agree with you...do what the teacher wants, always smile and keep that million dollar smile ALL day !!! no one can hate on a smiling person or a happy person, just try it, if you stand your happy ground---what can they say??kill people with kindness or atleast with a smile....if it's really bad i told you get an adult to help you sove it but usually. you can do it on your own with positive energy....energy attracts energy..positive always wins!!!!
ok, you had a very important lesson today, i know its alot but I have to keep reminding you about energy becaue everything you do in this life--requires energy!! If you want to be on top--even when it seems like things are bad---keep your energy up....always feel like you won $50million dollars and your going to pick up the check now!!!!
You are loved special and the universe loves and needs you--cause you are it!!!! lets get them A's and B's and if you get a C.....you still rule!!!!xo Tanya

heaped shingles

SIMPLE BEAUTY>>>

look at the pic....

it may look like a bunch of boards to you, but look closer,

each piece was used to make a great house,

shed or barn at one time.

Just like these shingles,

you must remember that you are unique and special-that you are needed to complete a mission that will help others.

Learn to appreciate the beauty in ALL things, no matter how small.

This photo was taken by Elizabeth G. --an artist with a great eye for detail! Who would have thought to see the beauty in a shingle--or wood??? Look at yourself this way--you may think because you are in foster care that you are not special--I am here to tell you --you are special with a divine purpose! Learn to accept your own inner and outer beauty and learn how to let your light shine so that like this wood, others can appreciate you and know your value- you are loved, divine and special!

have a great day at school friday and be thinking about how to have a productive, fun weekend...go to the museum, play a sport, ride a bike, take a hike, but don't sit around on facebook all day, (unless you are on google trying to see how to start your own business)...lolll

!!! xo Tanya

when someone is not responding to your needs

Hi blog family!
I know you are glad to be back at school. First- it is a great escape from group home life or a chaotic home!!
second-this is a chance to meet all types of new friends.
third-this is a chance to start over and try harder for better grades--or more stable grades and show you are serious about your schooling!!!

I wanted to talk to you about haters, negative people, nay sayers...etc.. call them what you want but it happens--there will be times when you are being kind and doing what you need to and a teacher or student just doesn't like you.
when this happens I want you to remember "this too shall pass"!!
If you find you don't like your teacher or they are always putting you on blast infront of the class or some kid is hating on you and calling you out to show off---IGNORE the student--or confront them with an adult present...

but for the mean teacher-- tell them how you think your being treated first in a nice calm voice or a letter, if that don't work---I suggest IF they are still really mean and have NO reason, (you wasn't throwing spitballs in class, talking over the teacher, making jokes, not finishing your work or not coming to class on time)...have a meeting with your guidance counselor and express how you feel, actually write a letter to the school and give it to your counselor, (this way you make a paper trail)...that is proof later, showing that you tried your best to let your teacher know how you felt or you let them know a kid was picking on you...then if something serious comes up....you have proof that you tried to get help first BEFORE you resulted to self defense or bad behavior..(which you are never to do...I told you before you are human and you were made with a mouth to speak----use it--not your hands---ever!!! no one is worth fighting for unless you are being beat down...(that's another story of self defense but you get the point)--use your words to talk not your hands!!
once you write down what you feel or why you think the teacher is singling you out or what a kid is doing wrong to you--
have the meeting with your counselor and suggest the principle sits in, (always have someone of authority sit down with you in these talks because sometimes people misuse what you say and lie---if more than two people are there it is likely to have 3 sides of the story, yours there's and the real one!!
also see if a counselor from your group home can attend if it is serious---you need someone to advocate for you, (stand up for you).
I find that when teachers are mean, there are many reasons: 
they are ignorant--
not well traveled, 
clueless on life and how to treat others with respect because they had none in their home or
 they hate their lives or
 they are prejudice, (never been around poor people, people outside there race) or 
they just want to stroke there ego and be in control....
Do your work in class, listen---no one can deny a kid help if they are being respectful and doing there part!!
You don't care about all that!--- (the teachers issues)..
 those are his or her problems not yours--you are there to learn and if they can't teach you, you need to be put in another class that can do the job!!! Once you had a talk with teacher, then a meeting with teacher principle and no one is helping you still---time to talk to your counselor at home and have them sit in...you have to have a team of support (counselor, therapist, another teacher etc..) they will help you show the other mean person that you are not the one to pick on!!! use your support and never stop until you get the help you need.!!! It is not what you say, but how you say it!!!
As far as kids being mean:
 If you are scared--tell someone, if it's not that scarey and you can face the kid, ask him or her oneday alone why they choose to spend there time bothering you and let them know you are here to learn and have no time for nonsense. I know it sounds corney but hey, you got to face your biggest fears sometimes head on!! I always go for the leader when I am trying to get rid of a bully, find out what there fears are or weakness find out what they like and have a one on one talk with them letting them know you are not the one and you will ignore them until they show you some respect..!! I have been your age---faced bullys, negative people, (still am at my age!!) it does not stop because your an adult it stops because you don't allow it!!! You are in charge remember??
 I don't allow bullys or negative people in my cypher..
.Life has enough challenges without you making friends with or being in a class with people who suck all of your good energy---
learn to stand up for yourself, without getting hurt or being disrespectful!! 

When people are not responding to your needs it is because you are not making yourself clear on your needs or they are disrespectful of others, therefore treating anyone anyway...not acceptable!!!

You are in charge of your life 99% (1% because you are a minor) lol.....
  you decide how you want people to treat you, give them the rules by not allowing garbage!!
No one can hurt you but you and by now you know that the universe needs you because you are a winner, a star waiting to shine!!
You can always hit me with questions--keep smiling no matter what is going on in your life--let your smile make someones day! At the end of the day---laugh, learn to laugh and blow it, (anything in life) all off, it's not that serious if you are alive!!!!!xo Tanya

break again!

Hey blog family!!
I hope you had a great couple of days back at school... I know it's new and all the new faces but consider this a challenge---to meet new friends who are brighter, less drama and have high dreams or goals!! I know I sound like a mom----I am!!!
I told you before you need to stay focused--on your A game, always being alert, ready and able to meet any challenge life throws you---and it will give you challenges!!!
You don't ever have to be scared---because you are a "challenge seeker"-- a person that always looks for new ways to grow and learn.
Remember if you stay in one place, you don't go nowhere.....lol  I am for real!!! listen enjoy your day off, i have been trying to get this book ready for you so please forgive me for not keeping up daily, when the book hits--I will have LOTS of information for you...for now, enjoy your weekend of and get ready to be on your best behavior---smile alot----listen----less talking-----learn to control your anger....by being quiet for 10 seconds when someone ticks you off....count to ten and then respond.....learn not to yell or be mean this year...we are starting fresh with a loving way...you catch more flys with honey.....bye for now my Prince and princesses of the blog world!! YOUR ARE THE HERO...remember the theme!! Tanya

"surviving foster care & making it work for you"

SO your feeling like...why me?

Hey blog family!
School is getting closer and I think of all of you who just came and those who were already in a group home or foster home. I will be sharing alot with you so check in, I promise you will learn something!!

I remember when I first went into foster care..a group home at 5!! how devestating, all I could think was...why me??
I am trying to get you to change your thinking so now ask yourself...why not me???
The universe chooses it's winners carefully and wisely. You cannot be a leader or of greatness... without having gone through something, what experience would you have being wrong, sad, happy, nervous, different?? You must remember even when your in a group home....the real world moves on and it moves WITH you or WITHOUT you! So if you came into care for neglect, abandonment, abuse,,it does not technically matter, what matters is HOW you will use YOUR pain to help others and heal yourself!!
Don't sit and sulk or ask why me ask what can you do to help yourself or help others learn from what you went through. YOu can help other kids in pain by sharing, (yes, take a chance, EVERYONE in that group home got a secret, so don't feel like you the only one!!) take a chance on sharing your story with someone who may also be in pain....you may have something in common with them, you may be able to help them get help or open up to a therapist or counselor, you may save their life by listening and sharing.
It is hard to put your 411 (information) on the line BUT: somebody's got to do it if you want to move forward in your life!!
Don't ever be embarrassed about what happend to you, it was never YOUR fault, take ownership that something happend to get you in a group home but NEVER let it make you want to hurt yourself or others. This is (being in a group home) another lesson we neeeded to learn and share and we were chosen because other people could not handle it or they had different lesson to learn and share!
Remember: every human on this earth has experienced some form of pain in their family, no one is perfect and you can live without your birth family....by picking great friends and being the best you!!! You will attract all the people you need by having a winning attitude and being kind to others--even when they are not!! The universe always takes care of those that take care of themselves!!

As of today no longer ask why me? ask why not me and what can I do to help others through this... start keeping a journal of your experiences, share it with someone who loves to read or a counselor, write all your pain down and it will help you feel better once you see it on the paper--you should save it and look back months from now and see how you have grown from that pain...

you are loved and special and don't forget: the universe needs you to be the hero!!! xo Tanya

trust

hi blog family--  summer is coming to an end.
Are you in a new group home or are you adjusting to the new place ok? Trust- how do you start to trust others after being left in a home with strangers???
By trusting yourself first... you have to learn to make decisions-which friends are good/bad--which events You can do without getting into trouble...you have to learn to trust your instincts!! You made it through so far--so your a smart individual in a strange situation.

Look at this experience as it is....an experience!! What you do with it will decide how your life will be from here on... trust only you first then you will know how to surround yourself with good, positive people who can help get you where you need to go....
Trust yourself enough to ask for help when you need it in the group home or at school..
trust yourself to know when you need to find an adult mentor/big brother/sister--because you need a family like connection.
trust yourself when you want to cry and cry--because you know that ALL things shall pass--even the hard times---if you stay alive and make plans for your future, things will always get better.

Its ok to trust people Unless they show you they are not trustworthy!!
Humans are going to make mistakes---learn form theres and if you make a mistake trusting someone that gossips about you later--it's ok...life will not end because of a rumor--move on and hold your head high and proud because you are a true hero for surviving this far and like all SUPERHERO's---you can be rebuilt---even while in foster care!!! 
choose your friends wisely
choose the places you hang carefully--it will give you an image
choose to love you--you are the best!!

bye for now my kings and queens of the blog world!! Tanya

Mr Bean - Eating sweets in church | Funny Videos | Fundoofun.com

Mr Bean - Eating sweets in church | Funny Videos | Fundoofun.com

Do you know how to laugh?

Project manager - Fun | Blog | Fundoofun.com

hey blog family!! school is near.... we have to get our grill right....smile...laugh... so here's a joke

click on the link and read....lol.....

one thing we have to learn to do.....laugh....and enjoy it!! You are young, gifted, the world is yours!

I know growing up in care and after leaving life was and still can be hard BUT you have to know how NOT to take yourself serious!!

Everyone needs a good laugh every now and again!! Why??

You spend too much time tensed up, nervous, worrying, sulking, thinking....STOP!!!!! just for one minute or one movie...laugh. enjoy laughing, it lightens your load and physically, it makes your nerves better!!!

I have a new exercise I tell people to do: whenever you are at your lowest OR things are not going as you planned for the day.....STOP! I don't care what it is...( unless you were in the middle of an exam)...lol... STOP!! 

and think of the funniest thing you ever saw or heard.....if you are not laughing....it was not funny anyway...if you are.....realize: nothing in life is that serious!!!!

Take time to enjoy your smile and that of others around you. Hang around people who laugh alot, it's contagious!!!  people like to be around happy people!

Ps. be on the lookout for Surviving foster care & making it work for you!! much love, Tanya

Project manager - Fun | Blog | Fundoofun.com

Project manager - Fun | Blog | Fundoofun.com

why would you want to hurt yourself? suicide is NOT an answer!!

Hi, I know it has been a minute, taking care of some issues but know that getting a message to you each week is most important!

note: please discuss with an adult this blog, it is NOT meant to make you feel bad but to empower you. You are special!!

Today I want to ask you:
 have you been hurting yourself or wanting to? call a 1800-suicide!! 


how to talk yourself down quickly: then read on.......
1. breath and know "this too shall pass"--and that you are special & needed in this life!
2. talk to therapist, counselor or friend
3. take care of you by NOT hurting yourself, instead, advocate, speak about what you need!!


Why? (think about it).  has anyone ever survived this problem in the world? (don't say no because our ancestors of slavery and holocaust went through it all!) and they made it!! the world did not end because they were abused and used....it changed because those that survived made it better for you and me! imagine if they had all killed themselves when hitler or slave masters took over...you and i would not be blogging!!
THere is NOTHING you cannot survive!! You come from a great line of survivors!!
dont ask why me? ask what can I get from this to help others?
.. take the focus off of YOU and think of others, your problems seem smaller....

Write down why on  a piece of paper. hold it until the next day. read it...unless you are mentally unstable, your problem should seem smaller today than at that moment you wanted to hurt yourself.
If you cannot write well, think and then say why. The point is too look at how small the problem is in a big world of other problems!!

I know that being in foster care is hard. I had a friend die when he was 18.
He was in foster care and then his adopted parents put him in a group home!
He felt that no one loved him and that life was ruff without anyone.
When he meet me, i did not know how depressed he was, until he took his own life.
 I do not want to scare you and i would like for you to talk to an adult, your therapist or counselor because this is a serious topic!
I was only around 19 when that happend, i could not figure out why my friend would want to hurt himself, because to me he was a great person. As i got older I realized what was the problem:
 he only thought of himself! He did not realize how much we loved him and that he had a purpose...
hurting yourself is not good for a few reasons:
1. you are so special to this world!
Your parents were only a vehicle to get you here. Some raise us, some pass us on BUT it is the lessons we learn and grow from that make us who we are!
Some days are hard I know, maybe seem unbearable, especially if you are being abused, BUT listen to me carefully----IF YOU lIVE THROUGH IT----"this to shall pass"- meaning someone can't abuse you forever, you can't be unloved forever, you can't be labeled forever, all things change their state----depending on YOUR action!
life will get better when YOU take action.
It may be as small as saying I will finish school because i know i hate where i live and the only way out is to go to college!
 It may be I will save my allowance or all the empty bottles I find for the next 3 years, so I can get away from where i am!
YOU have to do something. but cutting yourself-hurting yourself--unacceptable! We need you in this life, to help others in pain!!
2. ANYTHING you go through--is for a reason!! no pain--no gain! (that is NOT to say if your abused you will gain something great)- BUT your abuse is one HORRIBLE thing that happend in your life of MANY good things--like your alive, you have health, you can read this blog. yes, those are things to be thankful for!
Go on google and look at some of the orphaneges in Russia, India, Brazil, Africa, China--you will thank your lucky stars.
No matter where your at in this country---you still have it good--WHY?
because you have rights as a kid--look it up on google!you have many resources you can google; churches, synogues, shelters for teens, food pantry's, lawyers for kids etc....
IF YOU GET TIRED-NO ONE CAN STOP YOU FROM TAKING ACTION! You can call child protection services--if your being abused,
you can call the police, to pick you up if you are in need of a safe place,
you can report a worker if they are not doing there job....it is endless what YOU can do to protect and advocate for yourself in this country!!
There is no reason to hurt yourself! reach out to someone, anyone and i am sure they will give you a hug if you need it! Don't cry for help by cutting yourself, ASK for it!! Write down what you need to be ok.
There are many ways to get attention and cutting is not one, suicide is not one.. Talking, asking for help is the solution!!
You have to want help and do work to get the help, no one can read your mind.
No one wants to see a kid who just started  take his or her life away!! We know that EVERY kid is special and has divine purpose---some won't reach it but YOU will! If you read this blog you are searching for something better--and that is what life is about--looking to get better and help others!!
  call a 1800-suicide there is always someone to help!!
when you feel like you want to hurt yourself it is because you are feeling like no one cares, like you don't matter or no one will miss you when your dead---NOT TRUE!!
EXAMPLES:
 the little kid that just got to the group home and was scared---they will miss you--you saved their life becaue YOU smiled at them and showed them the ropes when they got their--you protected them from bad kids...
the senior citizen down the street, you help her with her grocery's every month and make her feel like she has a reason to live--to be an example or grandmother role model to you...
If you are Native American--your ancestors will be let down--you were the one chance they had to see one of their own go off to college become an activist, counselor, lawyer or a doctor and help change tribe life on reservations! You could be the one to motivate the others NOT to join gangs or drink and cut school...realizing that the reservations will go down if SOMEONE like you don't step up or teach the other kids to step up their game!!
Your brother or sister, how will they make it with a clear head, knowing you killed yourself or hurt yourself?
Don't be selfish, think of the universe and all the people you touch daily without knowing it!
You mean so much to this world and that is why i go around speaking-- to get you to see you are special!
I know i had alot to say but you understand this: YOU ARE LOVED AND NEEDED!! WAKE UP AND LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE NOW BY CHANGING IT!!
ASK FOR HELP DON'T GET IT BY BEING "BAD" OR HURTING YOURSELF!!
THE UNIVERSE HAS GREAT PLANS FOR YOU, WHAT DO YOU HAVE PLANNED FOR YOURSELF--WRITE IT DOWN!!!
See your therapist and TALK don't hide your feelings, they can't help you if you "don't want to tell your business"!!!
put your arms around your back--now you have a hug from me and the universe---you are loved and please call 1800 suicide if you feel the need to hurt yourself!! xo
Tanya

Pianist Liu Wei(from Chinese talent show) eng sub

Tanya Cooper August 19 at 8:20am

language, color, $ none matters but tanacity and the will to thrive--even when you have less!! instead of saying he has no hands, he said "i do have feet and they are the same as hands eccept in a different location! amazing young man!!

back to school

Hi!
I hope you are having a fun summer! You know what time it is....SCHOOL TIME!!!

I know you are excited, aren't you?? lol... anywho.... I 'm just reminding you!

Are you having anxiety thinking about starting a new school or moving up a grade or because you were left behind??

No worry's!!! Stop worrying!!  start taking action!!!

1. you are too young to be anxious about anything but going outside to play and what time your curfew is!!!
ok....maybe In the real world!
 But since you are in a group home or foster home, you may have developed a worry wart attitude!! 
solution:
Take a deep breath,
think of what it is your actually scared of..(meeting new friends, failing class because work is too hard, bully's or you may feel you won't fit in, boys or girls bothering you or not liking you, no new clothes??


These are all NORMAL worrys!!! Every teen is thinking these things when they start a new school or grade! I felt the same way!
What can you do to relax??
think of the worse scenario---act it out in your head, (they tease me)....did you live? (ok, no gang stuff included--that is SERIOUS and you will need help when dealing with gangs)
 YES!!! so it canot be that bad... If someone is teasing you enough to make you sad or want to hurt yourself or others---you need to talk to the principle or your counselor or a friend!!.
If they are harrassing you in an inapropriate manner--you need to have your staff call the police and file a report--why? because bulllys will keep bullying until YOU take charge! I don't want you fighting--it's not worth it in the end and you learn to fight your way through life instead of positive solutions....


2. If you are worried about the work being too hard....GET HELP---a tutor or an older kid to help you!!!

don't feel ashamed--I needed a tutor when I was younger...it is better to get help now than NOT know how to read in college.....yes, you heard me....some high schools actually passed kids just to get them out....this cannot be you, do your work, ask for help, remember, no one is going to save the day but YOU!!!
3. fitting In...I know it is human nature to want to belong to a group or have friends...NORMAL...but you don't ever chase anyone down--and if you do "need" friends" find ones that are doing their homework, staying after for help--as extra,.. doing sports or clubs AND are not into GOSSIP!!

Stay away from chatty people who want to talk bad about others---they will talk about you too!! You can avoid it by staying away and learning to enjoy your own company...Go to the library..play a sport, do your homework...you dont have to be up in everyones face--especially negative people!!!

while middle and high school are places to make long life friends, meet boy or girl friends--your education is 1st and don't let anyone stop that!!
4. no new clothes?? Ok i admit there were times when I did not have the latest gear but i just made due with what I had and if i got to choose---i bought new tops!!! no one cares if you wear the same jeans everyday in high school, as long as they are clean!!!
Try to save your allowance and get new tops..girls you can go walmart, top shot (NYC), forever 21, pay half, Target, charlott Russ...you get the point...AND ladies..you can buy a new necklace to change up or a scarf...check out the magazines and dress to YOUR style and BUdget... trust i was a runway model and clothes I know!!!  Guys you can hit target, khols, and sportwear stores!! B-ball shorts are always in, sweats, jeans and hoodie...you know what it is!!

Lastly start your new day with a smile on your face--you can't get new friends looking sad or crazy!! (besides, you may make someone's day!!) peace xo Tanya

keeping in touch with siblings

Hi blog family!
I hope your summer is going well. Are you out exercising and NOT on FB every minute? are you reading books that will take your mind out of its comfort zone...and not on the computer ALL day long? ok enough...i just want you to be sharpening your mind! School is right around the corner and you may be weak in some areas if you don't hit them book now or visit the museum--something educational!!!

Have you been in contact with your sisters or brothers? Talk to your worker and see how you can make that happen. If they are in jail--you can write, just get a DIN # and address... if they are in the hospital..no problem, get the unit they are in.
YOu can have your worker arrange phone calls for you with your siblings. Don't be scared, this is your only family!!! Remember you have to advocate for yourself in a way that will get results....not make your worker mad....SO no Yelling, crying, screaming, hitting, ignoring... you have a mouth---use it with words that are magical and can get you results!! There is no reason you cannot talk to your sibling...unless they cannot be found or on in a facility that is strict , (rehabilitation)... ask your worker but try to contact them, especially if you are older.. WHY??

1. they need to know you are ok, just like you need to know
2. your voice may comfort them and make them WANT to do the right thing because they know they have someone to look up too
3. even if your parents lost their rights, that is your blood, try to maintain a relationship...unless they hurt you in some way...then i say talk with your therapist and work out the details.

I hope you are doing what you need to do to better yourself, getting ready for school, knowing your goals, writing them down...all that!!!
I will be checking on you.
don't forget....write or call your sibling..ask your worker if they can get skype on the computer or AIM and then you can conference them...see them!!!
you can also FB your sibling...ask the agency to set up a FB account for siblings...
there is always a way....
keep searching until you get the answers you need AND don't EVER give up...
 you are loved and special.... Get your education on, the universe needs you more than ever --your job is to change the world and make it a better place but first you have to be the best you--you can only do that by educating yourself!!!
xo Tanya
ps. check out the article they did :http://adoptuskids.org/resourceCenter/parentSupport/adopteeStories/story.aspx?k=Tanya

first Day in foster care?

Passion To Action - Foster Youth and Mentors in Seattle Washington

Movie on 2010-07-20 at 11.06.mov

summer time

hey blog family!!

I know you are having fun: camping, biking, hiking, swimming, reading---yes reading a book over the summer will not hurt you!! you must stay sharp at all times always feeding your mind with good material and good people, places and things....keep up the good work and enjoy the rest of the summer knowing that a new school year is coming. You are going to join a sports team, club and meet new friends---no your not shy!! Learn to meet new people, the more you do it, the less uncomfortable it will be!!! You are Kings and Queens--royalty must always know WHO is in the land and HOW to help.... stay sharp by educating your brain...talk soon, xo

Tanya

What have you done today for a brighter future

hi blog family!

I sit here looking out of my window-seeing all the beauty the universe has in my one little corner of the world!
I am grateful for my life, my family and for the fact that I can create change in an instant with my thoughts and actions!
I ask you, what have you done today to ensure your future will be brighter than your parents?

Have you taken steps to start therapy or started a journal to release mixed feelings, hatred or anger?
Have you looked deep into your soul and discovered what will truly make you happy?


Have you found your gift that God gave to you? (sing, dance, read, write, preach, fixing things, creating etc..)
Have you worked on those gifts so that they could make you money and prepare you for a future without working for others-if you are not happy in your current work?
I hope you are not just letting life pass you by-you will not only miss out on all life has for you, but I believe by you not developing your talent/gift-the universe misses out on you as well. This life is about ALL of us and what we contribute. It can only get better if YOU make it that way!

You may have changed a kids mind that wanted to join a gang-because you taught an art class and showed him/her how to use their talent...
You may have saved someone from drowning-because you always liked the water and was the best swimmer and became a life guard...
you may have went out of the house today--stopped being a hermit--and smiled at a homeless man today---making him feel special and a need to get out of his situation....
You never know who's life you will touch, but you must find your voice, talent and gift==and then go help others with it. Sometimes it will not be obvious to you but you make a difference in this universe!

Please prepare and stay focused--it is never too late to follow your dream or discover your talent--go help change or save a life--the universe is waiting-Tanya

Self Review

Hi blog family!!
Today is another beautiful day and I am glad you and I are here to tell about it!!


Today, I ask you- is your life going the way you want it to go? 
Why or why not? 
what can you do to foster change? 
what do YOU need to do to start the change process?
 Who do you need to HELP you? 
Did you use all of your resources you have now?: counselor, therapist, social worker, lawyer, friends, your own ideas and help??


I will review with you every now and then to make sure you stay focused. 
You cannot sleep, accept when it's bedtime!
 Don't underestimate yourself OR sell yourself short by being lazy. 
Always be a person looking for new information and ideas to make yourself better,
 NEVER give up or give in to dispare,
 let anger & frustration motivate you, not keep you from your goals.
You know what you need to do and if you don't, ask me or anyone who can help. 
You know what you need to do so that when you leave foster care, your life will be better than your parents and your future kids, will have a life better than yours-because you pre-planned, set goals and did what needed to be done!
You are a blessing to this world and I thank god for you and the universe needs you--so go handle your business of bettering yourself!!
XO Tanya

when things are not going as planned

Have you tried to make new friends only to find no one wants to be your friend unless they can get something out of it?
Have you tried to do the right thing and bad things--that can make you money or help you--keep showing up? You know if you do them, you will not sleep at night, may lose your reputation or like it so much you may make a deal with the devil.
Have you been good to people and honest, only to find they lied, distorted the truth to make you look bad and used you to get information or friends?

Welcome to the real world.
The good news is you come to a point in life when you get older, where none of that matters.

You stay focused on finding good friends, being the best you, doing the right thing and helping others--even when everyone seems to be against you and the "bad" looks good!
Often it is not you--it is the evil forces in the universe testing you and seeing what you are made of--you already know you cannot be broken!
Everyone has good and bad days--staying true to yourself and on your path of greatness will help dissolve the bad people or make the evil disapear or go somewhere else besides at your door!

stay true to self and learn to identify the good things and people in your life--even if it seems like it's only one---truth, honesty and love always wins!!!
You are special
Tanya

quote from Dali lama

Hi blog family!! I hope your summer is going good.. mine has been peaceful but I am learning how to get what I need while helping others....

Dalai Lama It is not just a person's physical constitution, their intelligence, their education, or even their social conditioning that enables them to withstand hardship. Much more significant is their inner development. And while some may be able to survive through sheer willpower, the ones who suffer the least are those who have a high degree of patience and courage in the face of adversity.

this means its not just how you look, think, where u went to school or who what u learned while growing up that allows you to get through hard times.  its working on yourself inside that counts most. some surviving the system because of willpower, Dalmi lama basically says the ones who suffer the least are the ones with a high level of patience and COURAGE to face anything!! he is speaking to you and about you....learn and know that I love everyone who is striving for greatness, while hear on earth..xo Tanya

the Dali Lama is the closet to human perfection we will see on earth, listen and learn...

Life after a siblings death.

Hi blog family!

July 22nd my brother would have been 43...Hard to think he is not here!
How do I go on after losing a sibling and only close family member left?
By helping others!
If Rob was here, he would want me to be helping others who were in foster care.

He would want me to not think about my problems, but how to help others with a problem.
Sometimes death can bring out the carring in you.
I always thought of others but now since my brother has died, my mission is clear and priority!
If you lost a sibling you grew up with-through death or because they were adopted off- make something good out of it:

Start a scholorship fund in there name
volenteer at a shelter
organize a suitcase drive for group home kids
open your home for the holiday to kids who transitioned out of foster care

Do something to make a difference in someone elses life- and your pain will lessen!

Each day is better because I know my brother is now my guardian angel and anything I want in THIS life, he will help guide me toward it!!

Death is not the end, unless you stop spreading their message of love sharing and caring!! My brother's body is no longer with us but his spirit will live on forever through scholorships and the work I plan to do to help foster kids!

smile...someone is watching xo Tanya
ps. you miss the vid blog right--I know I will hit you again this week coming xo

Movie on 2010-07-20 at 10.32.mov

healing from abandonment..

Hi blog family!
enjoying summer? are you really enjoying your summer by swimming, hiking, bikeing, writing, singing, whatever you don't usually have time for when your in school? I hope you are maxamizing, your life potential...now...(look that word up on google)..

Anywho..I wanted to ask you are you aware that leaving or getting taken out of your family is very hard for a kid to deal with? Did you know if you don't talk about it and ignore it--the hurt feelings may come back later through "acting out"?
Well, I am not writing to make you mad or sad--I blog to teach you how to empower yourself! (any word I use and you don't know--look it up!)

talk to your counselor or therapist about how you felt about leaving your family.
let them know through writing poetry or writing a song about it or drawing...any way you can express exactly how you felf
Once you "get it out"- you can "Process" it--or understand what happend and how it effected you.
When you understand clearly--you can make better choices for your future!
You know that you did not like being left or your parent being sick--it does not matter how you got into foster care--it matters that you are there and you don't want to make the same mistakes as your parents!
Try not to be angry and if you are, here are some things I did to take away the anger: walk for miles, sing , dance, therapy, art, rollerblade...find something to do NOT DRUGS or DRINKING--in my book: "surviving foster care and making it work for you, I will tell you why you cannot do drugs and drink!
As I have said in many of my speeches, you must have a clear head at all times as a foster kid--you never know when your going to run into vultures--people who don't mean well! You don't have to get intoxicated or high to have fun and doing drugs and drinking DO NOT take away your problems--in fact--they increase them!
I hope you that need it are reading and I will start something new for you very soon, I think you will like it better than this!! Just keep faith and do your part---which is??? stay in school, Heal yourself through therapy. arts and stay away from Drugs and Drinking!!

If I talk about anything that makes you mad or sad--go immediatly talk to a counselor you trust or therapist--I don't ever want to upset you--I want to make you think for yourself and learn to control your feelings--you are the master of your destiny--anthony Robbins...
smile, someone is watching you! You are loved and blessed and highly favored xo
Tanya

The Power of Goals - Anthony Robbins

YOU are so powerful!

Hi blog family!
My energy level is back to 100% as I sit here thinking about how to motivate you and take you to the next level BEFORE adulthood! You are SO marvelous, spectabular, brilliant, lovable, talented, and SPECIAL!
The universe has great plans for you if you LISTEN and ACT.!!!
 From today on remember you are a force to be reckoned with--that means you are POWERFUL!! You are brigher than the sun,
stronger than "hercules"
as loving as a mother to a child
As big as the earth!
Nothing and NO one can stop YOU but YOU!!!
Think of ALL the gifts you have, find out what they are, use them to your ADVANTAGE!!!
You were put here for divine purpose, find out why and DO IT!!!

I have 100% faith in you! If you don't know your purpose and don't believe me think back to all the people you helped in your life--even your real family--you bought joy to someone, somewhere and you helped someone at sometime!
It's ok if  you don't feel what I am saying but until you discover YOUR talent, gifts and Purpose, assist those that are doing good. Just give them support by being there or giving a smile of approval or a good word--and don't let haters infultrate!!!

You are blessed, special and favored...go getem!!!! xo Tanya

The Power Of Belief - Anthony Robbins

when you are faced with evil.

Hi blog family! this pic- The top of Paris- Soc le Cour- (spelling may be off) lol.....
my favorite place to meditate, early in the morning!!

I had a great memorial day for my brother Rob, thanks for all of you who supported me! If you ever lost a sibling- hold on and make something sad into something good-start a good cause in their name!


My soul is feeling heavy today.

I usually donot watch TV-because I feel it is only there to program you to think a certain way-buy this, do that-she's pretty-she''s not-he's cute etc... But I was watching something that showed how evil some people in the world are and how they will do anything and use anyBODY to promote that evil entity! As young people you must get this message: WAKE UP!! STAY ALERT!! STAY FOCUSED ON YOUR GOAL AND PURPOSE IN LIFE!!
My word to you today....
you have to find peace in yourself no matter what you have went through!!

If you were ever abused in ANY way, if you were neglected, abandoned, whatever- you must learn to meditate! 
Go on google and type in the word- whatever you must learn this to center yourself and quiet yourself when the world is going through chaos- especially if you watch tv or go on FB or youtube!! Computers are great-because I can give you a message BUT you have to learn to USE it not let it stop you from thinking and moving about!!

What is the first thing on the news?? BAD news, the first 3 minutes gives you the lineup!
 All we hear is people killing, dying or being opressed, no stories of you and I saving or changing lives, no stories of you kids NOT doing drugs or not hanging with the "popular" crowd-and no stories ofgood people or good things!!! You tube is only showing you mindless (sometimes funny), garbage! here is a rule for you: If it ain't teaching you nothing-don't watch it, read it or buy it!! wow that was easy....lol
SO what can you do to stay on your grind as a young person? 
1. stay focused- the goal is to better YOURSELF so that you can help OTHERS in need!
2. Meditate- if your mind is not right-nothing can come togeather!
3. click off the tv, radio's, stop buying magazines that promote celebrity gossip or images that don't look anything like YOU or ME!!!
especially if you have kids in your home, if a show is not INCLUSIVE of ALL colors- don't allow them to watch- they will feel less than because they are bombarded with images of well endowed woman, long hair, and "sexy"-for guys, feminine males, criminal male, sexist male etc... why do you think you want to "change" yourselves?? some of it is because you are a teen but MOST of it is because tv makes you feel less than and you don't even know it!! it tells you what toothpaste to buy, what clothes will get the guy/girl/what place is cool, what to drink, do, etc...

 My kids were not allowed to watch tv until they were 5- and now they don't watch often because they know it's all made to make you buy buy buy !! If you want entertainment- 

-take a bike ride, walk in the park-play checkers or scramble!! forgot what that was didn't cha??? lol
4. stay true to yourself-the people are always lying and changing truth-so you have to search for YOUR truth, know it and don't let anyone-anytime, change that !! The universe gave you a 6th sense-use it!
5. take long walks-it sends oxygen to the brain and really helps clear the mind- walking is how I prepare my best speeches!! and it helps the heart-

 remember- you are what you eat and you should eat to live-not because there is food. when shopping: if it was not here with Adam and Eve--don't buy it!! you will save thousands in grocery bill!!!
lastly, listen to the universe and your spirit guide- they let you know what it needs and what you need, use your gut instinct to listen in silence and act accordingly. If you have to force yourself to do something-it was not meant to do it- all things meant to be SHOULD come naturally, without great effort someone once said.


We only have one life, one chance to make a change in ourselves and the world, what impact will you have BEFORE you leave??
xo- you are loved and special with purpose-go change the world-now!!

R.I.P Coop - let's watch what we eat!

Rob when he was almost 5

Rob is on the left side-*

Rob and I pasted togeather--but always connected at the heart!!
Hi blog family!
Today marks one year since my baby brother passed on. Rob use to call me sunshine! he says I lit up his world- but in reality- he was often my light and clarity!!

Actually I have another baby brother i have not seen since he was around 3, Mark. He was born Oct 6 but he was quickly adopted off to another family when I was around 7, to a family in Elmsford, NY, if you know him, please let me know, I have been searching for hiim for years but because of adoption laws--the agency will not release any information!!

Ok, I am writing today to tell you that my brother had the biggest heart of anyone I knew, always fighting for the underdog.
You need to know, no matter what you are going through in your life- you should ALWAYS help others in need, you will be blessed and your life has more purpose and clarity when you help others- even if your time is not long-you are always a blessing to someone else!!

Panic attack!

Just so you could get a feel of how my brother was, here are some stories:
One time  we were driving him back from my brother's work on 684 and it was summer,
 my brother saw an older lady sitting scared in a van: he started yelling: "pull over T, pull over, now, that lady is in trouble!"-
Of course I pulled over- even though I could not figure out how he could "see" the lady was in trouble- he told me his gut told him so, he has to help her.
We get out of our car and approach the lady-who was VERY scared by her face- I am sure at first seeing two black people approaching her car, was even scarier!!!
My brother immediatly yelled in a loving voice to the lady, "Don't worry miss, we are here to help you, this is my sister Tanya and she is a counselor and I am just a regular guy who saw you were in trouble, maybe you didn't take your medicine?" Just signal if your ok", he said.
the lady's face began to smile, she had a new look on her face, as if she knew my baby brother was an angel in disguise.
She rolled down her window and stated: " Oh, thank God you came young man, I forgot to take my medicine and I am having an a n x iet y attack1"
My brother sprung into angel action: 
"Don't you worry, call your family or husband and let them know you are safe, (she had a sell phone in her hand) and then I want you to breath, you are ok, it's just a panic attack, you are going to be ok and we will not leave until we know your safe!"

My brother forgot, I was going to be late for work now- but he could care less, if you needed help, food, or clothes- even just advice, Rob was stopping everything for that moment!
The lady got her husband on the phone, Rob talk to him like a son: "yes, don't you worry, this could be my mother and if you want us to drive her to you we can or we could wait for you, no it's no bother, this is life, ok speak to your wife, you have my sister's cell if you need anything!"

My brother had the woman take her medicine and sat there talking her down from her anxiety until she was laughing and felt safe to drive- atleast a half hour later!!
The woman thanked my brother and offered him money-which ofcourse he would never take from a situation like this!
 "Listen miss, thanks for the offer but we did not stop in this hot weather for money, we stopped because God told me you needed help, that's it and that's all, I just want you to get home safe!"

The lady smiled and grinned, almost knowing she was dealing with an angel right at that moment!
 She drove away smiling and confident- I drove away looking at my baby brother, helping another in need. My brother knew what the lady felt- he had to take antidepressants to stabalize- so he knew just how she felt and he offered help...

Even when he was not doing so great-he was in recovery before he died but just getting by- he gave his last!

I knew that suit my sister gave me would come in handy!

When I went to see the last place my brother lived before he died, a man came up to me crying saying: "I was an alcoholic, homeless- but your brother convinced me I could get a job and start newlife- so I got a job  interview- but i had nothing to wear! Your brother gave me his Armani suit!"
(I said to myself- "really, not the suit I bought him in a Parisian thrift shop! I bought him that when I was doing good so that he could always say he owned a nice suit!)
I came out of my daze and told the man- "Armani? Oh wow, that's nice"... (thinking, I was going to kill him again!!" lol
the man said: "your brother helped me stop drinking, how am I going to stay sober, I ain't got no one to go fishing with no more"?
I told him "yes you do, Rob is still here and wants you to stay sober so that you can help others recover"
he looked at me like I had a point- "I guess that makes sense, but I am going to miss him- he was just out here moments before he died because the kids wanted to play and Rob knew a level 3 sex offender lived at the corner of our housing unit- he came out here and watched them play and would not move from his chair until he saw the guy peep his head out- then Rob got angry he yelled to the guy but first he told the kids- cover your ears- " Put your head back in the door, if you come out or I see you I will hurt you!"- your brother hated sex offenders!!
I knew the man was not lying!
My brother hated anyone who harmed kids! right before he died- he was watching over the 10 or so neighbors kids, making sure a level 3 sex offender did not harm anyone- he did this watch A few times a day!!! He was not a saint, in recovery from drug use and not being there physically for his son- were things that made him not so perfect..but he still had a good heart and would literally die for you or give his right arm-if he loved you!!

The point: There are a few:
 1. watch how you treat your body NOW- it will haunt you later!! I believe that you are what you eat- my brother had been eating bad food and smoking for years! He had stopped smoking for several months- but after he stopped the gum or pill- he went back. He died of heart disease- his arteries were clogged 90%-the main value!! I am sure it did not help that he use to abuse drugs and that he had to take antidepressants and asthma meds, (which was new)- none of us ever had asthma growing up- I was shocked to learn from smoking- -he had recently got asthma- I am sure it did not help he had mold in his studio as well-ALOT... just watch what you eat please--
Stay away from vegetable oil
fried foods in vegatable oil (only use olive oil or canola)
try to eat baked food
eat lots of organic raw veggies and fruit
don't smoke- anything- it depletes your lungs
you must remember, your body is a temple- treat it special-feed it only the best- this is your "vehicle" for the next 5-100 years, (I figured you have to be atleast 5 to read this)lol
Don't think because you "look" good- you are- my brother had a body like a pro athelete-yes, when I went to the morgue- even though i had not seen him in 9 months- he looked like a pro baller- six pack included!!
but inside- his body was being destroyed by the food he ate- microwaved foods, take out, greasy, margerine, bagged no name brand chips/cookies - look at the ingrediants on the back of anything you buy!!! If it has more than 8 things in it--you probably should skip it.. EAT TO LIVE-NOT BECAUSE THERE IS FOOD- that is how i eat- if God did not make it when Adam and Eve were here, I don't buy it!!! you will never have trouble shopping again if you live by this food shopping law!!
because there was no stove in his temporary place- he had to microwave!!
YUK!! he knew better- he use to be a chef!!!
 but because he was poor and wanted to die a "man" he ate only what they could afford- garbage!! No use of crying over my baby brother, what I will do: go around the world speaking to kids in group homes, foster homes, orpanages, (yes in some countries they still call them that)...I will make sure you know about proper eating and living and that you learn to enjoy THIS life NOW!! that is one thing Rob did- enjoy everyday-
2. HELPING OTHERS in need:
this is what we are all here to do. don't pass someone by that really needs your help. We all have our moments- if you see someone depressed or sad- try to offer a kind word, they could say no, but try- you may save their lives and if nothing else- you will lighten their hearts and let them know God sent them an earth angel- YOU!
3.What can you do today- to change or save a life? We are only here tempararly- if I die next week i want you to remember me for helping others- not my bank account or my clothes or my house- I want you to say" she helped altot of people, she changed some lives!"- what legacy do you want? Start building it now!! It is not "bad" to die young IF you lived while you were here and helped others along the way--that could be as simple as a baby being born, bringing your family togeather in love and unity and then passing on- it could be as simple as: a 12 year old who made everyone laugh-including the kid who later grew up to  be a comedian because that 12 year old made them think of how funny life is...you never know your purpose- it does not matter how long you are here, it's how much you can do to help others make life better!! xo Tanya
R.I.P COOP- I miss you, but i am still doing your work and I will teach others to do the same- teach one- reach one- then teach again!!!

R.I.P Coop - let's watch what we eat!

Hi blog family!
Today marks one year since my baby brother passed on. Rob use to call me sunshine! he says I lit up his world- but in reality- he was often my light and clarity!!

Actually I have another baby brother i have not seen since he was around 3, Mark. He was born Oct 6 but he was quickly adopted off to another family when I was around 7, to a family in Elmsford, NY, if you know him, please let me know, I have been searching for hiim for years but because of adoption laws--the agency will not release any information!!

Ok, I am writing today to tell you that my brother had the biggest heart of anyone I knew, always fighting for the underdog.
You need to know, no matter what you are going through in your life- you should ALWAYS help others in need, you will be blessed and your life has more purpose and clarity when you help others- even if your time is not long-you are always a blessing to someone else!!

Panic attack!

Just so you could get a feel of how my brother was, here are some stories:
One time  we were driving him back from my brother's work on 684 and it was summer,
 my brother saw an older lady sitting scared in a van: he started yelling: "pull over T, pull over, now, that lady is in trouble!"-
Of course I pulled over- even though I could not figure out how he could "see" the lady was in trouble- he told me his gut told him so, he has to help her.
We get out of our car and approach the lady-who was VERY scared by her face- I am sure at first seeing two black people approaching her car, was even scarier!!!
My brother immediatly yelled in a loving voice to the lady, "Don't worry miss, we are here to help you, this is my sister Tanya and she is a counselor and I am just a regular guy who saw you were in trouble, maybe you didn't take your medicine?" Just signal if your ok", he said.
the lady's face began to smile, she had a new look on her face, as if she knew my baby brother was an angel in disguise.
She rolled down her window and stated: " Oh, thank God you came young man, I forgot to take my medicine and I am having an a n x iet y attack1"
My brother sprung into angel action: 
"Don't you worry, call your family or husband and let them know you are safe, (she had a sell phone in her hand) and then I want you to breath, you are ok, it's just a panic attack, you are going to be ok and we will not leave until we know your safe!"

My brother forgot, I was going to be late for work now- but he could care less, if you needed help, food, or clothes- even just advice, Rob was stopping everything for that moment!
The lady got her husband on the phone, Rob talk to him like a son: "yes, don't you worry, this could be my mother and if you want us to drive her to you we can or we could wait for you, no it's no bother, this is life, ok speak to your wife, you have my sister's cell if you need anything!"

My brother had the woman take her medicine and sat there talking her down from her anxiety until she was laughing and felt safe to drive- atleast a half hour later!!
The woman thanked my brother and offered him money-which ofcourse he would never take from a situation like this!
 "Listen miss, thanks for the offer but we did not stop in this hot weather for money, we stopped because God told me you needed help, that's it and that's all, I just want you to get home safe!"

The lady smiled and grinned, almost knowing she was dealing with an angel right at that moment!
 She drove away smiling and confident- I drove away looking at my baby brother, helping another in need. My brother knew what the lady felt- he had to take antidepressants to stabalize- so he knew just how she felt and he offered help...

Even when he was not doing so great-he was in recovery before he died but just getting by- he gave his last!

I knew that suit my sister gave me would come in handy!

When I went to see the last place my brother lived before he died, a man came up to me crying saying: "I was an alcoholic, homeless- but your brother convinced me I could get a job and start newlife- so I got a job  interview- but i had nothing to wear! Your brother gave me his Armani suit!"
(I said to myself- "really, not the suit I bought him in a Parisian thrift shop! I bought him that when I was doing good so that he could always say he owned a nice suit!)
I came out of my daze and told the man- "Armani? Oh wow, that's nice"... (thinking, I was going to kill him again!!" lol
the man said: "your brother helped me stop drinking, how am I going to stay sober, I ain't got no one to go fishing with no more"?
I told him "yes you do, Rob is still here and wants you to stay sober so that you can help others recover"
he looked at me like I had a point- "I guess that makes sense, but I am going to miss him- he was just out here moments before he died because the kids wanted to play and Rob knew a level 3 sex offender lived at the corner of our housing unit- he came out here and watched them play and would not move from his chair until he saw the guy peep his head out- then Rob got angry he yelled to the guy but first he told the kids- cover your ears- " Put your head back in the door, if you come out or I see you I will hurt you!"- your brother hated sex offenders!!
I knew the man was not lying!
My brother hated anyone who harmed kids! right before he died- he was watching over the 10 or so neighbors kids, making sure a level 3 sex offender did not harm anyone- he did this watch A few times a day!!! He was not a saint, in recovery from drug use and not being there physically for his son- were things that made him not so perfect..but he still had a good heart and would literally die for you or give his right arm-if he loved you!!

The point: There are a few:
 1. watch how you treat your body NOW- it will haunt you later!! I believe that you are what you eat- my brother had been eating bad food and smoking for years! He had stopped smoking for several months- but after he stopped the gum or pill- he went back. He died of heart disease- his arteries were clogged 90%-the main value!! I am sure it did not help that he use to abuse drugs and that he had to take antidepressants and asthma meds, (which was new)- none of us ever had asthma growing up- I was shocked to learn from smoking- -he had recently got asthma- I am sure it did not help he had mold in his studio as well-ALOT... just watch what you eat please--
Stay away from vegetable oil
fried foods in vegatable oil (only use olive oil or canola)
try to eat baked food
eat lots of organic raw veggies and fruit
don't smoke- anything- it depletes your lungs
you must remember, your body is a temple- treat it special-feed it only the best- this is your "vehicle" for the next 5-100 years, (I figured you have to be atleast 5 to read this)lol
Don't think because you "look" good- you are- my brother had a body like a pro athelete-yes, when I went to the morgue- even though i had not seen him in 9 months- he looked like a pro baller- six pack included!!
but inside- his body was being destroyed by the food he ate- microwaved foods, take out, greasy, margerine, bagged no name brand chips/cookies - look at the ingrediants on the back of anything you buy!!! If it has more than 8 things in it--you probably should skip it.. EAT TO LIVE-NOT BECAUSE THERE IS FOOD- that is how i eat- if God did not make it when Adam and Eve were here, I don't buy it!!! you will never have trouble shopping again if you live by this food shopping law!!
because there was no stove in his temporary place- he had to microwave!!
YUK!! he knew better- he use to be a chef!!!
 but because he was poor and wanted to die a "man" he ate only what they could afford- garbage!! No use of crying over my baby brother, what I will do: go around the world speaking to kids in group homes, foster homes, orpanages, (yes in some countries they still call them that)...I will make sure you know about proper eating and living and that you learn to enjoy THIS life NOW!! that is one thing Rob did- enjoy everyday-
2. HELPING OTHERS in need:
this is what we are all here to do. don't pass someone by that really needs your help. We all have our moments- if you see someone depressed or sad- try to offer a kind word, they could say no, but try- you may save their lives and if nothing else- you will lighten their hearts and let them know God sent them an earth angel- YOU!
3.What can you do today- to change or save a life? We are only here tempararly- if I die next week i want you to remember me for helping others- not my bank account or my clothes or my house- I want you to say" she helped altot of people, she changed some lives!"- what legacy do you want? Start building it now!! It is not "bad" to die young IF you lived while you were here and helped others along the way--that could be as simple as a baby being born, bringing your family togeather in love and unity and then passing on- it could be as simple as: a 12 year old who made everyone laugh-including the kid who later grew up to  be a comedian because that 12 year old made them think of how funny life is...you never know your purpose- it does not matter how long you are here, it's how much you can do to help others make life better!! xo Tanya
R.I.P COOP- I miss you, but i am still doing your work and I will teach others to do the same- teach one- reach one- then teach again!!!

How can you build confidence?

HOW CAN U BUILD CONFIDENCE WHILE IN FOSTER CARE?

HI BLOG FAMILY!! 

I know the 4th was banging!!..lol....

I was thinking about when I was young and in my first group home, I was never the kid that got alot of compliments and I never got any pats on my back. How did I get enough confidence to become a runway model in Paris and NY?? I lied to myself EVERYDAY until I believed it!! telling my self that I was beautiful and although my dark skin was not "popular", I told myself whoever did not like my high cheeckbones, dark beautiful skin and thick auburn hair, obviously was not ahead of the times. I told myself I was the "it" girl...even if I was not!  WHY?? 

because in this life you usually have your parents to hype you up and tell you you are the best thing, You usually have your siblings to back up what your parents are saying, even when you fight, if someone on the street talks about you- your family usually got your back and likes to brag about you and usually they make you think you are the greatest!

 BUT since I did not have that until later, I told myself what I needed to hear to act like I was the best girl on the runway!! I also read every magazine from here to England on fashion, studied every girl, went to Fashion Institute of Technology for a while to study fashion, how garments are made etc.. If I was going to be the best model, I had to know clothes so that I would know HOW to sell them with my walk or attitude!!

What are some things you can do to build your confidence?

Repeat something positive about you EVERYDAY-3x a DAY!! "I am a great person with lots of friends who love and respect me. " I am beautiful and smart"I am #1, ONLY POSITIVE WORDS THAT YOU WANT TO BE TRUE!!

2. Take action to make it happen!

If you want to be a doctor- start learning your science now-biology- research! 

read books or google the topic that interest you.

 Get an internship with a company you like or dreamed of working for.

3. Practice, Practice practice!!

:if you want to be an actress- start reading monolgues to yourself in the mirror or to your friends to practice

4. Study your competition-until your better than them or close!: If you want to play pro ball- get good grades- practice everyday all day and apply to D-! schools!! Get to know the coaches-especially in high school- they can send you off to a good place IF they like and respect you and your work!!

If you want to be a DJ- learn how to scratch/mix/edit music/songs-

save your money so you can buy the latest equipment and songs-learn all the clubs and radio stations with the best DJ's-see why they are the best and what will make YOU better!

3. Believe in you 100%

no room for doubt, especially when everyone knows you are the best. When you are down or feeling like you are not special and your talent is worthless, pull yourself by the collar, look in the mirror, grit your teeth and tell yourself:: God and the universe did not make no dummy, they only make the best, MAN UP!!" now go getem tiger!! You are the one! you are loved, special and highly favored, don't let them , (anyone not IN your camp 100%) see you sweat-ever!!! Nobody does it better than me- repeat it!! xo Tanya

Happy 4th!

Hi blog family!!

I know you had fun watching the sky light up.
 Now it is time for you to get your spark on! lite up your life with a plan!!
What will you do today so that you can live an increditble life?? 

Have a good holiday-don't each too much heart clogging foods: mayonaise, vegatable oil- you know...but have fun and be safe, I will hit you again later!!xo
ps. you are special, loved and favored!! Tanya