Do you have a mentor in your life?

Hi blog family!

I have a few words for you. Hope you have a good barbecue this weekend!! Remember the soldiers who died. I donot beleive in war of any kind for any reason but we must remember those who fought out of respect.

I want you to find a mentor. A mentor is someone you can look up to and can show you how to do things the correct way...find a job, intern, eat at a fancy resterant, whatever, find someone that is doing good things, has a good job or is the best worker in their field....ask them to help you when you need guidance.
Having a mentor really makes a difference, I have a few and I am over 40! We all need advice some time in life, me included, so go find someone and try to listen to good advice....oh and stay away from that knucklhead friend that wants you to do nothing all day!!
Get out, read, write, whatever....you are loved and special!
Smile, you have some little kid watching you, be a good role model please!! XO Tanya

Don't miss your chance!!

Hi blog family! ok this is the same as the adults today......
Have you ever had a chance to do one of the many things you dreamed of and one day the chance comes knocking on your door, only you: look through the peephole, saying: " who is it?? not knowing its your chance of a lifetime!
Or you look and open the door a little and even though you know you heard the knock, you only cracked it open enough to see an inch, or took too long to go to the door,

so you missed whoever was there, or worse, you  don't open it !
I really missed some good opportunity's this month, but I want you to know, if you get one chance, be ready!
When it comes to your dream..
It is important that you take the time to perfect your craft or gift.
Often while in foster care we don't have time to find out what it is.
I know I was born to talk and help others, tv has always been the vehicle I wanted to use to get to my real goal of empowering youth.

What can you do to be ready?
Read as much as you can on your subject
Stay away from anyone that thinks you cannot do what you wish!
Practice, Practice, Practice!!!
Prepare whatever you need for your field, (audition tapes, pictures, samples,..)
find out who the GO TO person is in your field, ask for advice if needed, if not model after whoever is doing it big in your field

*Most important, like Nike says: "Just DO it!!!"

If you sleep too long or don't answer the door of chance,
you may miss it,
be prepared and willing to go when called,
 this may be your chance to save, change or effect a life!!
XO Tanya

Remembering Rob...walking back in time..

Remembering Rob...walking back in time..

Tanya speaking at Cleveland University- National Youth Conference  / Rob & 2nd cuz

a few of us at National Youth Conference!

Hi Blog family!

It was a challenge day for me, a beautiful one but challenging because my brother was heavily in my heart and on my mind!

I thought of all the kids I saw at the National Youth conference and how blessed they were to have Latasha using her vision to have a conference with workshops on food, banking, self esteem etc... wow, my brother would be happy to know someone was thinking of fosterkids aging out, having options!

I was sad to know he is gone so young but I became happy when I glanced at the pictures from the national youth conference and realized, The hard truth panel, (Latasha, Tanya, Tanisha),  the judge and DMC, delivered our own stories to encourage them. 

When the kids come up and talk with you after, you know it is all worth it!

thoughts to my brother:

I miss you Rob, but alot happend; the scholorship in your name, by your friend will be in effect soon, I spoke to the kids, and someone walked away aspiring to go higher!

 Knowing this, I can make it everyday, when I am helping save, change or inspire a life, thanks Coop!

your sis Tanya

The purple project youth conference and quote of the day...

Hi blog family! 

We had a great time at the National Youth Conference In Cleveland! Teens, Anyone working with foster kids - or any kids for that matter, really missed it!

 pics to follow soon!

Keynote speaker, DMC, (of legendary rap duo RUN DMC), delivered a powerful message that Even Jessus and Moses was foster kids...telling how one was put in a basket down the river and found and raised by the Egyptians and he told how  baby Jesus was also raised by someone else! 

Wow! best part was the fact that- looked who they turned out to be! 

DMC was powerful talking about how  he always questioned "his Purpose", knowing that it was not just to be "famous"!

The Hard Truth Panel spoke: Latasha C. Watts, (founder of the Purple project), Tanisha Cunningham, (founder railroad2success.com), and me, (Tanya Cooper), all telling our personal stories, the hard truth of foster care! go to their websites to get more information!

Basically I told the kids they are the Cinderella's, {Prince & Knight & shinning armor and they need to go out into the big beautful world and write their own fairytales, with themselves, as the hero!

The workshops taught about financial responsibility and the importance of saving, how to make good food choices, "I like me", and a also included others, even workshops for foster parents and social workers! 

I cannot wait for you to read my book, "Surviving Foster care & Making it work for you,

you will see how  all three of us panelist, are on the same page when it comes to helping foster kids and creating change! 

It is important for you to share your experience and give back when you can, someone's life may be changed!

I leave you with a quote form one of America's top 100 influential people: Senator Jon Kye - "There is no limit to what a man can do or where he can go IF he does'nt mind who gets the credit!"

what have you done to bring about peace of self and others?

Hey Blog family!

I hope you are back in the grove at school, doing your homework,making plans for a better future. I also want you to think about how you can help others. You are young and you need to know how helping others makes the world better and makes you better for being less selfish. Helping others also takes your problems to the back of the classroom! help out at a local food drive or get your friends old books togeather and donate them to a poor area school! help at a soup kitchen, your social worker can tell you how... google it!! Instead of getting on facebook today or googling the funniest video of the day.. go to the library and ask if you can help out or read a book about how to help others!! Be proactive, get out and give back, you will be double blessed and the angels will always look out for you!

XO Tanya

here I sit today looking out my window, i wrote a poem for you, don't tell me it's corney, its from the heart!! 

Ps. I will be away supporting the purple project this weekend, helping youth in foster care prepare to leave the system, I wish you could be there but  know i am thinking and trying to do things that will help you!

Peacemaker

listening to the birds-slight wind, water or cars in a distant, enjoying the peaceful sounds - I am wondering how can I be a catalyst for peace? I will go out and be of service to others today, yes, that's what I will do!!

words to delete from your vocabulary....todays word depression

Hi blog family!
Hope you had a great weekend, i relaxed...and worked....

I want you to delete this word from your mind as of today: DEPRESSION
this word will follow you through foster care if you get labeled with it, so I want you to delete it from your memory and when a counselor or Dr. says that word, let them know, "I don't get depressed, I have "challenges" like all people do...
Don't let anyone put labels on you and don't give them a reason to, you are bright and strong, no one can hold you down or put a title on you, unless it is positive!
IF you are "challenged" because your just getting to a group home or someone is bothering you, talk to someone, release it, who cares what anyone thinks as long as you know you got it out!
Be willing to talk about whatever does not feel right in your life.....you will feel better and be less likely to use the D word!!

Delete the word...................De..........

thank you, xo
Tanya

a few words to beat sadness and put you back in the clouds of joy!

Hi Blog family!

I hope you are ready for the weekend.

 Relax, destress by taking a walk..re a firm all things, people or saying in your life....

this picture was taken in Paris France..this is a famous church ..where if you go to the top of Paris (top of these stairs, you can see most of the city of Paris on a clear day..I felt like I was on top of the world...the stairs get very crowded and even has some criminals hanging around but overall, this is a place to feel like your on a cloud and all your worrys go away for a moment of beauty.... ANYWHO......

Just some advice:

 There are times when you try your best and no one understands or will listen, there are times when you try to be your best, but life situations gets in the way and make you fall of your cloud of joy you were riding....so I thought a poem of sorts may help pick you up...

When the going gets tuff and you think you can't keep going....keep going.

The bad cannot last forever so stick it out!

You are loved and special!

XO Tanya

why helping others is important

Hi blog family! see that face, my brother helped whenever he could even when he did not have much..this is why i called him my favorite person, always willing to help a stranger or friend in need..

help could be doing workshops, painting a picture that conveys something, smiling to make someones day or doing a National Youth conference like thepurpleproject.com or helping with transitional living like Tanisha Cunningham at theundergroundrailroad2success.com...You do what you can no matter how small as long as you find a way to help a foster kid in need..

Have you found what your gift is in life yet? its ok you are young but you can be giving back in a small way now...
with a kind word to a kid that is NOT favored
by SMILING, at every kid you see, especially young ones you see just coming in the group home,
HELPING, a new kid adjust to group home life,
READING, yes, reading, you can share what you learned with the younger kids, taking them around the world if you read ALL books...the alchemist, by pablo quelo, think and grow rich, napolean hill...the secret by rhonda byrn...yes, reading will elevate you, even when you seem stuck in one place, but don't read garbage, (gossip), read things that are true or teach you something you did not know...this way you can share with the others kids who may not be as "savay" as you...(look the word up)!!

anywho, helping others starts now, what are you doing to help, save or change a life? ask yourself that every day until you have an answer and the universe will bless you for thinking of others...helping others also takes the focus off of your issues,
you are loved and brilliant because you are a winner!

smile, some little kid is watching you and i need you to be on your best to help them through this..peace and love Tanya
ps. when are you gonna hit me with questions???

Mothers day...without mom..

Hey blog family!
Happy day to you, even if you don't have your mom or your not able to talk with her, she still birthed you. I want you to be proud to be here, you have a purpose.
The world would not be the same without you!
Tell anyone that has been like a mother figure to you Happy mother's day and if there is no one...know and reflect on the day...remember..your mother was a vehicle to get you here so that you could help, save or change a life...now go out into the universe and shine!!
XO Tanya

how do you pick your friends?

Hi blog family, hope you are well. Today is friday, get out after school, ride your bike, walk, see a movie or get togeather with your friends and play checkers..any game that keeps your mind sharp.

I wanted to know how do you pick your friends? At this age you usually take what you can get so whoever is friendly....that's it.. I want you to start being a little  more selective, yea, I know your young but you got to start now so that by the time you get grown, you selected such good friends they have helped you grow as a persona and togeather you complement each other's life!

When choosing a friend:
pick someone who is not violent
does not steal, lie or cheat
likes adventure that is not harmful to themselves, you or others
has a future plan for themselves....dreams of being something or a goal to get a desent job that allows them to be on their own
funny, got to have a friend that knows how to laugh at themselves ...and you when your being silly or just need someone to bring you down from anger..with a laugh..
cares about you and your well being...they don't let you take the fall for them when they get in trouble, they won't allow you to do drugs or be around dangerous people places or things...they are always looking out for your best interest, not their own or using you to achieve a bad deed...

choose your friends carefully, you are judged by the company you keep and remember I told you: "if you don't make a plan, the universe will make one for you" (that means plan your goals, future, family relationships and yes, your friends!! xo Tanya

Happy?

Hi blog family! hope you are at school and read this later....

are you happy? Do you really know what that is??

Happiness is: knowing you are ok today, with or without parents...

Smiling, even when things don't look like they are going right, if you have happiness, you know eventually good times will pick up!
Happiness is helping others in need, because you are content with yourself and your life, you want to help others in need..
Happiness is you knowing your future goals, having written them down, dreaming and seeing them come true everyday, you know your future is bright, so how could you not be happy, since you made a plan...
Happiness is the feeling you get when you wake up in the morning and open your eyes to sunlight or a noisy roomate, because you know, you was given another day, another chance at a new life!
Happiness is appreciating and loving yourself SO much, that you share with others, even when your mind says you want it for yourself...sharing is caring, caring is happiness...that you release on others..

Are you happy? 
You can be now, just start from this moment on knowing you are great and with purpose.
xo Tanya
ps. smile, someone is watching you, (like the younger kids in the group home),
be a good example to them....
you are loved and blessed to be alive, smile!!
I want you to go to the library and get the book: the alchemist by Pablo Quelo

The beginning of the week...

Hi blog family!!
hope school was good today. I know it's monday...just starting a new week. It was rainy and dreary for a while but the sun did try to shine today!!!
When you think of mondays, don't think of it as a bad day because it is the beginning, think of it as a new day to start new things!
I love mondays, everyone else is sleepy, dreading going to work, I am happy to be alive amongst the living and using my brain!
 It is not promised that you will rise each day so when you wake ANY morning and see the day of light, you should be thanking God you made another day.
 This new day, beginning of the week or any time, is time for you to make new plans on how to better yourself: be a better friend, better person, more loving, more giving, do more art, singing, dancing, reading, writing, whatever, just do and be happy you made it to another day!!
xo Tanya
ps. you are loved, special and highly favored!!!

May: A poem for you, from "someone" on the internet...

Hi blog family!
I hope you are having a great weekend, getting out for some fresh air, playing b-ball, soccer or just riding your bike or walking!
May is a time for all things planted in the winter to bloom: new flowers , tree leaves, warm fresh air, (if you don't live in a smog town)lol...loving yourself and teaching yourself new things....
school is almost over, are you PLANNING your summer?
 Let your counselor know you would like to take trips to the museum of modern art, walk or rollerblade in central park (at the 72nd street entrance).. go to the piers in manhattan, or just walk around NYC!! There is a budget for trips, ask your counselor or social worker...
Whatever you decide, DO something!!

YOu are young gifted and blessed!

Ps. Don't forget to smile, somebodys watching you!!

here is a poem someone sent me, i am sharing with you,.


May today there be peace within.
 May you trust that you are exactly where
you are meant to be. 
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are
born of faith in yourself and others.
 May you use the gifts that you have
received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. 
May you be
content with yourself just the way you are.
 Let this knowledge settle into
your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

Here is a way to make a card for someone special...even for a birthday!
if you don't have a gift for mothers day and you have a mom you see OR a special male or female you see in a parent role model light,:
copy this poem,
print is out,
cut it to the exact size and
 glue it onto colorful construction paper.
You can cut the poem in a heart shape and then glue it
or you could cut out flowers you find in a magazine and glue them on...
 then write something from your heart of what that person means to you....
you got yourself a card for someone special who has helped you!!

You are loved, blessed and highly favored!! XO Tanya

The mind is a terrible thing to waste...

Hi blog family!
I know it has been a minute but as I always say: "life is happening, even when we take a break!"
I was hoping your in good spirits today.

 I want you to know why you should stay away from drugs and drinking AND cigerettes!!
1. your mind is a terrible thing to waste, remember that commercial?

 You are young and growing why would you think you needed unatural things in your body??
I want you to know, your brain is still growing along with your body, if you put chemicals in you get distractions in your brain that may make you behave in a bad way.

2. I told you before you have to learn to talk about ANYTHING that is bothering you or making you want to hurt yourself or others! 
Talking is the best medicine when you are down, alone, sad or mad, I know because I have lived a little longer, (ok i am sounding like my foster mother)... LOL....

3. If you are a teen that feels you need to be "out of your mind" to have a good time, (high)..you may need help..
you may not think so but it is NOT "normal" to want to relieve stress by getting high.
 I understand teens will be teens but i was a teen (not too long ago) and I did not like the fact that some of my friends were getting high or drinking,
one because they acted stupid and two because you do things you may not normally do...like talk to someone you know is bad for you or hang with a bad crowd, get in trouble, talk back to staff, you know, i don't have to tell you...doing drugs is not a good move.

You are in foster care and need ALL of your brain cells to get through this life WITH your sanity!!!
You can't think right when your high and you make excuses to be lazy and not complete your goals,.
Don't tell me about all the famouse or rich people who admit to doing drugs, because no matter what they tell you in the media, they are not fine, if they were, why would they have a need to "get high" with all that money, wouldn't you be out enjoying it???
Drinking and getting high is for people who don't want to do the mental work....they think if they get high there problems will go away....NOT, they are still there but worse...the only way to solve a problem--any problem...is talking it out!!!
You are special and loved....
Your mission this week:
go smile and be nice to a kid at school that no one is nice to...just smile atleast...i bet you will have a great day just for doing that..... 
be kind, it cost nothing...xo Tanya

when no one believes you because your a kid!

Hi Blog family, it's been a minute, I know..life is always happening, even when you stop!
I hope you are all well and will tell your friends about my site and my friends at www.thepurpleproject.com and theundergroundrailroadtosuccess.com both of these sites are great resources, (places you can use for information). When you find people or information that will save or change a foster kids, or anyones life, you have to let people know, don't keep a good thing to yourself!

What do you do when something bad has happened, and no one believes you because your a kid?


1st. THIS IS ONE REASON YOU MUST NEVER LIE,(UNLESS IT WAS TO SAVE YOUR LIFE OR SOMEONE'S LIFE)!
If you are the type of kid that always lie's, when it is time for you to tell the truth and you try, no one will believe you because you have no "credability! (that means no one thinks you tell the truth)

2nd. You build credability by always being honest, always keeping 100% as you young ones say! No candy coating a lie or making up extra things of what happened, only the truth from start to finish!

3rd. Yes, even when you have a good reputation and you tell the truth, there are people who will not WANT to believe or trust you because THEY are messed up! ( yes, not just foster kids have issues, some people had there family, and they are still more messed up than us, atleast we are required to go to therapy and talk, even if we don't take advantage of it yet!) Alot of people will not go to therapy unless they are faced with issues or they are required by court, so alot of people never get the help they needed to process their childhood issues like us, so in a way, you are lucky because you are asked to deal with your problems, even if you don't the option is there for you)
 I know your too young to know this yet but i am warning you not everyone is good BUT most people want to do good and that's what you have to go on.
4. If someone does not believe you: teacher, friend, social worker, whoever: you have to ask yourself why does this person not believe me?
If you can say because you are known to lie, don't be mad at them for not believing you, just keep telling the truth and eventually they will see you are more honest
If you told a BIG lie, (someone hurt you and they did not), this is wrong because you could ruin someone's life for good!
 Never play with another life by lying. 
If someone is really hurting you and no one believes you, if it has to do with abuse of any kind, report it, teachers, doctors, social workers and police are "mandated " reporters, meaning they must file a report and tell the proper people.
This is why you can't lie to "get even" or because you are mad at someone, lying in this case can bring harm to someone's life or career BUT if they are harming you, then it is your duty to tell so this happens to no one else!
Truth is always best because it free's  you from more lying. I would rather someone not like me because I am honest Sometimes the truth will hurt and expose bad people, places or things, that's ok, but lying, that is no ok because you want to be known in your community, especially as a foster kid, as a person of charector and truth, always helping others and spreading GOOD energy!

You are blessed and highly favored! Go out and smile, make someone's day, I will talk to you soon, and spread the word for other kids to come visit or leave comments, this site is for you, XO Tanya

I'ma be!! Black eye peas..

Hi blog family!
 I hope you had a great day in school and now it's time for the weekend. I was listening to the black eye peas today...."I'm a be".... What does that mean to you?
They are tying to tell you to be whatever you want as long as YOU plan it and do it!! Always look for new ways to improve yourself and to help others.  Next time you listen to that song think of what YOU are going to be!! whatever it is is all good as long as you are about change, love and advancing your life to be the best you!

xo Tanya

Processing information ie....talking

Hi Blog family!

I hope you got up today thanking your maker for another beautiful day, remember each day you are alive, breathing and able to walk, talk and or think....is a great day, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!
I wanted to tell you sometimes if I talk about things that make you sad or mad i want you to talk about it with your therapist, social worker, teacher, friend or counselor!
FIGHTING IS NEVER AN OPTION!!
 Because why you say??
 4 reasons!!
 YOU ARE NOT an animal, (REMEMBER:they can't talk and have to mark there territory or defend themselves by proving they are the strongest="fighting")
 YOU are human, and you can talk about how you feel!!!! 
You were created to use your mind!!! 
You are brilliant!!!
Sometimes talking about things like today can bring back memories that may or may not be good and I want you to learn at your young age, how to: "process" information. 
This means that you "talk" about whatever it is that has happend today or yesterday, that effected your life.
Don't feel bad if you reacted in the past by NOT talking about things and keeping them inside.
 I don't want you to do that because it creates anger, hate, hurt, revenge seeking or just plain bad feelings!
You are too young to be wanting revenge or hating anyone!
YOur life should be having fun and learning to be a great person that knows how to talk to ALL people, (we don't do prejudice of any kind, it's worthless, mean and we don't want to be like hitler do we?)
 It is NOT good to hold in anything that makes you mad....ANYTHING!!
You always have the option to talk to someone. 
I think God made friends and the universe brings you friends so that if you don't like your therapist, counselor or teacher, you have someone else to talk to.
I know, most people have their mom or dad or siblings but we usually don't have them easily available if were in a group home OR they are "dysfunctional", (meaning they are not mentally able to help you right now because they are not able to make good decisions).
Find someone who has GOOD, clear logic--they can make good decisions and you know because they are living a good, healthy life, that you would like to have one day!

You are always loved and highly favored. Smile and be kind to EVERYONE, (yes, even the jerk), you are going to save, change or help a life today!!! Go gettem!!!
XO Tanya

control your anger

Hi Blog family!!
 i hope you had a great weekend! I wanted to talk with you today shortly about anger.
Anger is when  someone or something is making you feel SO bad that you are now mad and you want to scream or hit someone.
1st. hitting is NEVER acceptable! why? because God made people, not you, you never have the right to hit anyone.
There are times that i would not turn my cheek, like if someone was hurting me or my love one, one example, during slavery and the holocaust the slave masters and hitler were hitting and hurting, even killing people, I could not sit by and watch my family or friends die because of one man, this is the only time it may be excusable.
2nd you should not be in a situation that will cause you to be hit...learn to control your anger by taking a walk or breathing 10 times in and out... never let anyone see you cursing and carrying on, you have a mouth and a brain, if you look in the dictionary you can find some great words to tell someone off, without cursing!!!
3. know the difference between you and an animal--you can use your words, not your hands...an animal has to fight for its territory, not a human being, that's you, don't forget it!
you are loved and blessed, take care and smile, someone is watching you!
xo Tanya

good deeds

Hi Blog Family!

I know you had a good vacation and I know you took my advice and did something new, productive and different from your every day drill!
Congradulations for all your hard work, efforts and for your willingness to want change in your life!

My thoughts are brief today starting with a question and my  quote:

 " When your life is done, what do you want people to say about you?
"In this lifetime, you are only remembered by your smile, kind words or your last deed"- Tanya

I often speak of how you should help others. Two reasons: it takes the focus off of you and your problems and life is about finding your path AND helping others achieve theirs.

I write this blog in hopes that you will see someone is thinking of you always. I write so that I won't think about the days I was a kid in foster care and no one explained anything nor did they give me extra words of wisdom to help me in my foster care journey.
You must remember always to help others: go out in your comnunity, see if there is a reading program for kids, maybe you are good at telling stories or reading. Help at a soup kitchen, (get permission first), make a card for some senior at a nursing home who has no family and give it to the nurses station, telling her or him, you just wanted to brighten someone day. Sing to a nursing home during a holiday.
There are many things you can do to put a smile on someone's face, think of your talent and share it with the world, forget about your problems because they will resolve themselves if you keep living and striving for a better life through education, helping others and knowing that someone is watching over you.
xo Tanya
SMile and save or change a life!!!

What does this holiday mean to you?

Hi!
Hope you enjoyed your holiday, whether Jew or Gentile this is a day for renewing...starting a new day...If you believe it is the day Christ has risen after dying for our sins, or if you believe this is a time to not forget the past and how far you have come, either way, this is a time for new growth.
Think of all the things you no longer want in your life and things that are good in your life. Reflect on what you could do better, wiser.
You always hear and see Easter Eggs, chocolates and bunnies but that is not what this day is really about, someone died for our sins so that we could live, (if your christian). If your not you still celebrate passover for a similar reason..to remember...
we must always remember someone sacraficed for us to be here today, no matter what color you are, the human race progressed because someone fought, died or rallied for our basic human rights in America. This day should not be about the chocolate but about how we are priviledged to eat chocolate and have a week off of school!
Easter should be time for you to reflect and be thankful that someone cared enough to let you be where you are, and that is the reason you want to always achieve greatness, to show thanks and give back to others. life is great when you are living, live your life, be happy and smile, you may change, save or help someone!
xo Happy holiday, Tanya